hmmm... need to write. something. anything. need to vent.
to someone who will never read this:
i despise you. i look at you, you snarky cocky son of a bitch, and i want to rip the fucking smirk right off your face.
but is it really you i hate?
ah, sadly, no.
i hate myself for letting you in. i hate that i didn't see your faults, just overlooked them in favor of viewing your hidden self, the sad and vulnerable you.
i hate that in my own way, i let myself love you
i hate that you don't care that i have been so cold to you. it only serves to remind me you never cared for me the way i stupidly let myself care for you.
you are a fucking waste of human life. an unfeeling selfish bastard. i wish i could rip out your black little heart and show it to you, make you realize what you really are, and watch the painful regret of being a waste of life cross your face before you collapse dead before me.
but i cannot make you see yourself for what you really are. and even if i could, i still would not be able to bear the pain that it would cause you.
i love hating you, and i hate loving you.
what the fuck am i to do with my sad self, but continue to ignore you and wish you would go away?
and, sadly enough, plot and pray for your downfall.....