[Shooting Star Shadow]'s diary
Written about Thursday 2006-11-16
Written: (6581 days ago)
In a short time my life has gone from great to horrible. I lost the one I loved, Lost my reason to live. Lost my soul to this beautiful and intelligent kid. She’ll be one of the greatest people that ever walks this planet…. Just wish she would realize that she’s looking for something she don’t really need. To be honest I wish she’d open up and see the reality of life…that I love her and I’d die for her, actually I’d kill myself just to make sure I never get in her path and ruin her future….she may not understand this now but some day shall and that day she’ll finally realize that she was and will always be my world, it’s why I must die so I can finally be where I need to be with my children and watching over my friends……I love you all and will miss you all terrible!!!
made a promise not to go out and get blasted when I was here but i'm tempted to fuck the promise and go out and just fuck everything up just for a moment of peace and a moment of no thought
"Cancer"
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
and bury me
in all my favorite colors,
my sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
cause the hardest part of this,
is leaving you.
Now turn away,
cause I'm awful just to see
cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
but counting down the days to go.
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
Cause the hardest part of this
Is leaving you...
Cause the hardest part of this
Is leaving you...
"House Of Wolves"
Well, I know a thing about contrition,
Because I got enough to spare.
And I'll be granting your permission,
'Cause you haven't got a prayer.
Well I said hey, hey hallelujah,
I'ma come on sing the praise.
And let the spirit come on through ya,
We got innocence for days!
Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.
And say, ha
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
(Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am)
You play ring around the ambulance,
Well like you never gave a care.
So get the choir boys around you,
It's a compliment, I swear.
And I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
I wanna hear you sing the praise,
I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
We got innocence for days!
Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.
And say, ha
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
You better run like the devil,
'Cause they're never gonna leave you alone!
You better hide up in the alley,
'Cause they're never gonna find you a home!
And as the blood runs down the walls,
You see me creepin' up these halls.
I've been a bad motherfucker
Tell your sister I'm another
Go! Go! Go!
And I said, say,
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
So get up!
So get out!
Yes I am, yes I am!
Boy: There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window
Girl: There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever
Both:
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I have ever made
Boy:
But when you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And you hold me like that (hold me like that)
I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this (touch you like this)
And I hold you like that (hold you like that)
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me now
Girl:
It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
Boy:
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow—baby, baby!
If I kiss you like this (kiss you like this)
And if you whisper like that (whisper like that)
It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this (if you want me like this)
And if you need me like that (if you need me like that)
It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now....
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then!
But if I touch you like this (touch you like this)
And if you kiss me like that (kiss me like that)
It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And if I kiss you like that (kiss you like that)
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me now
Girl:
It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
Boy:
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again but they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow—baby, baby, baby!
When you touch me like this (touch me like this)
And when you hold me like that (hold me like that)
It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this (see me like this)
And when I see you like that (see you like that)
Then we see what we want to see—all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies—all coming back to me
I can barley recall, but it's all coming back to me now....
If you forgive me all this (forgive me all this)
If I forgive you all that (forgive you all that)
We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now
Girl: It's all coming back to me now
Boy: We forgive and forget
Both: And it's all coming back to me now
How To Save A Life ringtone on your mobile phone
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
I'm sorry your ashamed of me, I know I'm not the prince that could be, actually I'm rather a beast compaired to all men and beast alike. But you always run my sight, you never show it like i've got the plague or something, I love you more then anything and this is going to be the death of me, but we need to talk about major changes that need to happen... but that's only if you honestly want this to work....
Written about Thursday 2006-10-05
Written: (6623 days ago)
My heart broke at the news of that another one took your heart, but then I thought that maybe it was for the better since I can and probably would not be able to be with you for a while. Then I heard your voice and my heart stopped beating for a little while and just hearing you made my night no matter what.. Now I sit and think of you and the chances that could and may be in the future. just one thing I do know for the eternity of my life you will always have me as a great friend, and you will as well have my heart as well
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (6629 days ago)
Lips Of An Angel
Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No, I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late
I can't take this shit anymore they've dropped one of my classes i'm down to about 13 hours left, their going to fuck with my finacial aid, and my rooming so i'm pretty much going to be out on the streets, I NEED YOU BAD I CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIT ANYMORE, I'm literally sore from head to toe, my stomachs cramping up, just i'm breaking down and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it anymore and i'm just to the point of saying fuck it with this damn college shit and just walk off campus for good and never come back,not saying good-bye to anyone and not letting anyone know, just walk off and never turn back.. it's getting that bad baby- I want to be home with my sweetheart, with my friends just need to get out of this death trap before it kills me honestly
eh never was one for long good-byes, so I leave for college in a few minutes and figured I'd get on here and say good-bye to everyone and hope you guys have a good life for the next 3 years or so
Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
Who's gonna take my place
I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway...I guess it's over
Chorus
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me
Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances
To show you how much I care
I should've seen...
Chorus
About the pain and the tears
Oh, oh, oh
If I could, I would
Turn back the time
I should've seen...
Chorus twice
This song is for a certain sweetie that last night I didn't get a chance to tell them that no matter what happens I'll always love them....I hope she knows that I'm talking about her because lately I haven't been the way I should towards her and should have my tail kicked for it!
She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done
Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind
[solo]
I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a young old man with only a dream
Am I just fooling myself
That she'll stop the pain
Living without her
I'd go insane
Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind
Feel your breath on my face
Your body close to me
Can't look in your eyes
You're out of my league
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
(She's like the wind)
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
She's like the wind
(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)
Softly we tremble tonight,
picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in site,
I said I'd never leave you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me….
We made plans to grow old,
believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me…
You must live for me too'...
For me too...yeah, yeah…
You said that you would die for me…
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
with all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
You said, you said that you would die for me…
My college schedual is
[Tuesday/Thursday]
CJ130T1 7:00 am
CJ140T2 9:00 am
MTH110T 11:30 am
CJ150T4 1:30 pm
[friday]
My Only Class WooT Woot
PDC111F3 11:30 am
Written about Saturday 2006-07-15
Written: (6705 days ago)
to save everyone from being stupid, and making a fool of yourself by calling the wrong cell phone, I have my old one back so it'll be alright to call that one
eh did it this morning to keep myself occupied and just kind of felt like getting it off my chest
Could It All Be Over?
The halls are empty.
They still smell of students.
The books they carried through the years.
Bookbags and extra gym closthes make it seem like it is a new home
Could It All Be Over?
The Halloween costumes through out the area.
Teenagers having that one last taste of childhood within those halls.
The doors did shine with glitter and lights from the many designs as the Christmas holidays arrive.
The desk once in rows as if they were the band sweeping the field.
Now stacked on piles until time comes around once again
Could It All Be Over?
The first year seems like a lifetime.
A routine down and classes are learned by the end of the second year.
Three years of memories, slowly and secretly haunted by a single thought.
New friendships sprout were old ones fade.
Hearts are broken by love and yet they still go on.
Could It All Be Over?
The time has come to walk the final walk.
Two colors divide but all have one goal tonight.
Could It All Be Over?
Just think if it was over then time would seem like it has stopped.
Celebrating and mourning all are apart of the final day within these halls but to be honest things are never truely over :)