I don't have the time nor patients to wait for hell to freeze over or for eternity to finally decide it wants to finally do me a favor. So enjoy what you have and embrace what you know because the pillow that everyone thinks they can use is gone because I'm tired of being the soft spot for everyone to freaking land their asses on and then just walk all over to go back into hell. It ends now.

"The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"

Smeared black ink... your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening to last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath
Where I am
Where I am

I'll wear my badge... a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...
I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

D.C. sleeps alone tonight

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

here we go again another horrible week in the waiting just to fall on me, not even 6 in the morning and I am already to the point that I just want to end it all. I feel like I'm missing something, like a part of me has been removed and that at one point it actually had a use. I don't feel anything for anyone anymore, not even friend wise. I sit and stare into the black and all I want to do is cry and scream until the blood flies everywhere. I can't sleep, hell I tried almost anything that doesn't involved beating myself with a board or something and yet I am still awake. This disease or whatever it is, it's destroying me, it's got me so bad that I can't even sleep in my own house anymore. I am so damn tired of all this shit. just so tempting to walk off the bridge outback and end it, not like I'd really be missed. people that say they will miss me either don't know me or don't really ever have time to even call me anymore so can't honestly say that you'd miss me. I think I'm going to just go and finish this thing else where so if you message me or call me I probably wont be answering it any time soon......

Your Eyes
As We Said Our Goodbyes
Can't Get Them Out Of My Mind
And I Find I Can't Hide (From)
Your Eyes
The Ones That Took Me By Surprise
The Night You Came Into My Life
Where There's Moonlight
I See Your Eyes

How'd I Let You Slip Away
When I'm Longing So To Hold You
Now I'd Die For One More Day
'Cause There's Something I Should
Have Told You
Yes There's Something I Should Have
Told You

When I Looked Into Your Eyes
Why Does Distance Make Us Wise?
You Were The Song All Along
And Before The Song Dies

I Should Tell You I Should Tell You
I Have Always Loved You
You Can See It In My Eyes

 Ever been so sick that you end up vomitting up blood?
 or cough so hard that it rattles your rib cage and your skull?
 Ever get that feeling that your body and soul just want to die just because you feel like you've lost all that every really made a difference in your life?
.....................................
 For those that randomly do give care even if it's a little you should know something then.
 I have been vommiting up blood as well as when I do use the restroom it comes out normally as a mix of blood and what naturally should be coming out
 I have been coughing so badly lately that it's scaring the hell out of anyone that hears it because they say it sounds like someone's dying
But most importantly I know my heart and soul feel like they are dying because I feel like I'm dying I feel like I've lost all those that I honestly grew to care about more then just a close, good friend. My future is non-exsistant anymore I have no reason to go back to college when I'd end up having to pay for it all out of my own pocket and many know that there isn't a snowballs chance in hell of that happening so my dreams are shattered!!!

Well I got the answer that I didn't want to hear, My fucking bastard of an ex roomie is still there on campus, so if you randomly get a lot of insulting messages and such any time soon I'd ignore them because the flood gates are being released

Consider this a warning/informational/protective kind of message
Read All Please

The only picture of a blue mage I could find that I actually liked a lot.

The Nice Guy Curse

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly
reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honour of the guys with open minds, with laid-back
attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honour of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but
give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favour cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all
ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in Halo2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you
knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends
at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is
that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim
they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen,
they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most
frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure
out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that
train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.

For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

I may be coming home this weekend but I wont be on that long cause I'm trying to have my friend come with me. so she and I will probably be hanging around town randomly, but I'll try to get on some this weekend if I do come home

(Angel)
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover - I'll cover you

(Collins)
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there - I'll cover you

(Both)
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life - be my life

Just slip me on
I'll be your blanket
Wherever - whatever - I'll be your coat

(Angel)
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle

(Collins)
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat

(Both)
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life - all my life

I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

(Collins) (Angel)
So with a thousand
sweet kisses If you're cold
I'll cover you And you're lonely
With a thousand
sweet kisses
I'll cover you You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
When you're worn
out and tired With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
When your heart has
expired

(Both)
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

In a short time my life has gone from great to horrible. I lost the one I loved, Lost my reason to live. Lost my soul to this beautiful and intelligent kid. She’ll be one of the greatest people that ever walks this planet…. Just wish she would realize that she’s looking for something she don’t really need. To be honest I wish she’d open up and see the reality of life…that I love her and I’d die for her, actually I’d kill myself just to make sure I never get in her path and ruin her future….she may not understand this now but some day shall and that day she’ll finally realize that she was and will always be my world, it’s why I must die so I can finally be where I need to be with my children and watching over my friends……I love you all and will miss you all terrible!!!

made a promise not to go out and get blasted when I was here but i'm tempted to fuck the promise and go out and just fuck everything up just for a moment of peace and a moment of no thought

"Cancer"

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
and bury me
in all my favorite colors,
my sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
cause the hardest part of this,
is leaving you.

Now turn away,
cause I'm awful just to see
cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
but counting down the days to go.

It just ain't living
And I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
Cause the hardest part of this
Is leaving you...

Cause the hardest part of this
Is leaving you...

"House Of Wolves"

Well, I know a thing about contrition,
Because I got enough to spare.
And I'll be granting your permission,
'Cause you haven't got a prayer.
Well I said hey, hey hallelujah,
I'ma come on sing the praise.
And let the spirit come on through ya,
We got innocence for days!

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.

And say, ha
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

(Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am
Yes I am, uh yes I am)

You play ring around the ambulance,
Well like you never gave a care.
So get the choir boys around you,
It's a compliment, I swear.
And I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
I wanna hear you sing the praise,
I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
We got innocence for days!

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.

And say, ha
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

You better run like the devil,
'Cause they're never gonna leave you alone!
You better hide up in the alley,
'Cause they're never gonna find you a home!
And as the blood runs down the walls,
You see me creepin' up these halls.
I've been a bad motherfucker
Tell your sister I'm another
Go! Go! Go!

And I said, say,
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man.
So get up!
So get out!
Yes I am, yes I am!

How To Save A Life ringtone on your mobile phone

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

I'm sorry your ashamed of me, I know I'm not the prince that could be, actually I'm rather a beast compaired to all men and beast alike. But you always run my sight, you never show it like i've got the plague or something, I love you more then anything and this is going to be the death of me, but we need to talk about major changes that need to happen... but that's only if you honestly want this to work....

My heart broke at the news of that another one took your heart, but then I thought that maybe it was for the better since I can and probably would not be able to be with you for a while. Then I heard your voice and my heart stopped beating for a little while and just hearing you made my night no matter what.. Now I sit and think of you and the chances that could and may be in the future. just one thing I do know for the eternity of my life you will always have me as a great friend, and you will as well have my heart as well