[SweetChaos]'s diary

875791  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-11-17
Written: (6584 days ago)

Forget me. Forget everything that reminds you of me. Forget my eyes. Forget my smile. Forget my tears. Forget the smell of my hair. Forget the feeling of my head on your chest. Forget the words that we've exchanged.

I'll forget you. I'll forget everything that reminds me of you. I'll forget your eyes. I'll forget your smile. I'll forget the tears that I cried just for you. I'll forget the way you used to breathe me in whenever we were close, like the times with my head on your chest. I'll forget that I ever said, "I love you", and the way that my heart felt whenever you said them back.

I guess that I'm trying to say that I'll erase you. One day. Not tonight. I look back to Emily; you know the poem. If you get this, let me know.

How the fuck do I tell how I really feel? Can anyone out there answer this for me, or are you all just as in the dark as I am?

I've always said that I love you, but I'm starting to become numb to you. This can't be love, can it? Love is supposed to be something...Well, I can't describe it. Good luck if you can.

Am I falling out of love with you? I think that I'm just hurt. Yes, hurt. By you. I never thought that I would say that. But this time, it was your fault. 

You just expected me to take you back, like I always do. You didn't say that you were sorry. You didn't say that you were wrong. You know what you said? "My God, your eyes are beautiful. I never realized how gorgeous you are." This time, I didn't want to hear sweet words from the lips that hurt me not so long ago. I wanted to hear you say that you love me. That you were sorry that you hurt me. Anything but a comment on my looks. Did you even know that you hurt me?

You ridiculed me. You put me down. You called me names. You insinuated at how stupid you think that I am.

And yet, here you are. Once again telling me that you love me. Like everything's back to normal, but is it? Do you really think so? You broke my heart, and I wonder if you even care.

I think I love you, still...but I need you to show me that you do really love me...

868032  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-10-27
Written: (6605 days ago)

   If you're reading this--which you're not, I know--I love you. Do I sound emo when I say those words? Would you sound emo if you said them back? No. No, you wouldn't. Not to me. They can label us all they want; We're not going to change, you and I, for the likes of anyone. Or would you? What? You did! For her. You left me for her. But it's really the fact that you lied...that's what hurts the most. What's that? You want to come back? Why? I'm too "pretty", remember? Did I get uglier over the past two weeks? Am I ugly enough to date, now? But I will take you back, I always do. And I'll just leave, saying this to you, because it's how I've always felt..."I still love you."

 The logged in version 

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