well, i am afraid i will not be on elftown or the internet for quite a while if everything goes to my parents plans :(. ask [Nymphette] if you really want further details but basically its to do with a picture i had displayed, they didn't appreciate it strangely...tehe.

anyhow...because i love you all so much here is a wiki i have made about my darling brother:

we love the moth
tehehe, i'm so cruel.

please add yourself to the members page! tehe, its not finished but it'll have to do for the time being.

Today turned out much better than expected. School was just an average day, nothing special but then Katherine came around with a rose and a card to cheer me up, she's such a darling. I love her to pieces, she's always there she really is. I'm a very lucky guy really. God knows what i did to deserve her but i am eternally greatful...tehe.

well, im off to go find a vase-i think it will end up being a make-shift something like a wine bottle-but ah well. It's such a beautiful rose; mind you, it was from such a beautiful person...

tehe, well, today i was selected by [Axyris*] for her gothic/punk hotties! how fun...

vote for nymphette at:
<poll:52039>

vote for nymphette at:
<poll:52039>

sorry, that sounded a bit gay, but he deserved something. there is already a tribute to him as a wiki however...

though many of you dont know newblood he was a great friend to me,

i found out today that he has died because of a cruelly delivered beating

i dont really know what to say, its all a shock at the moment, but it will sink in soon i expect.

my thoughts and prayers are with all the people who he had graced and also with his beautiful daughter, whom he was never allowed to be a father to....

grr...

well...katherine's party was fun.....

oh fuck. im such an idiot. why od i have to be paranoid!?!?! again listening to Cradle of Filth in a desperate attempt to raise my spirits. evrythings fucked up because of me yet again. :(

i hate myself...

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a stupid twat i am...i deleted my profile in a state of melancholia and gloominess and now i have to remake the whole thing...grrrr.. :(

:( six feet deep is the incision, in my heart that barless prison, discolours all with tunnel vision, sunsetter... nymphetamine............

i hate myself and everything pertaining to myself...im feeling so shit at the moment and i dont really know why; noone ever is completely satisfied with themselves i guess but i truly loathe myself at the moment. i think its all the time without katherine reasuring me and instead having too much family around picking at every fucking bone they can find. its hardly my fault im not the perfect grandchild, cousin, son or whatever else. they're taking the insults bassed around my dress sense even further now, a nice new nickname...
i so nearly cut myself again today :( i woke up about eight and just laid in bed till twelve debating it and thinking. i didnt in the end though...
im listening to cradle of filth at the moment, (nymphetamine) its the best album i own-and i have a hell of a lot to choose from-it cheers me up immensley, i can really conect to and understand the lyrics i love cradle of filth...amazing band, just wish their tabs werent so complicated then maybe i could play them-mind you i am hopelessly shit at the guitar as well as everything else.........
and to add to everything im a complete burden on katherine, an impossibly heavy one she shouldnt have to put up with.

fuck...i just lost my nicest earing! my grandad came up, took the piss and ruffled my hair and it fell out and i cant find it.... :(

god i havent written for ages.....iv been distracted of late for many reasons, none of which are simple enough to write about now (one is in nymphettes diary though) this is my last day of being banned from seeing katherine. i cant wait to see her again. had a pretty good christmas, got pretty much what i asked for...

I LOVE KATHERINE

well....i had the worst day yesterday. i woke up and was sick a bit (well a lot). then i went to cyfr and cut myself...but it was a hell of a lot deeper than i expected blood was actually everywhere and it was about and inch or two wide! it went through all the skin and top layer of fatty shit and i had to go to hospital...saw two councellor people and finished at half 2!! i didnt sleep at all and i hadnt the night before so im knackered and im a bit light headed...and i have a cold!

my dearest... i love you eternally. you dont fuck up at all and you mean the world to me. i am just a proud fool, who loves you immensly :)

katherine xxx

i had the best evening on friday i have had for ages...and thn saturday was good too...i almost thought i would have a good weekend for once.

but then mother wanted to check my arms and we had a huge argument, i went to bed but didnt sleep at all. missed rigby because i wasn't feeling up to it (i really wanted to play today and i got up feeling shit and knackered). I hav shitloads of homework still to do im completly knackered and i have thrown up a few times already this morning...i just feel really shit physically and im not great mentally either :(

i think i am possibly the shittest boyfriend katherine could have...i have managed o fuck up more times in one conversation than most people do in one lifetime!