ET: Member blog

[choke_on_dreams]'s diary

484021 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-01-30
Written: (7114 days ago)

good day my

Beautiful souriya

hmmmph.

i have two pages of essay writing and counting. GOD SAVE ME.

okay well you know, i can do this. its all about the breathing. iiiin...ooout...iiiiin....out. careful not to hyperventalate though.
:P

oh well I'll live....

no really i will.

well anyways i gotta go, its bed time :) which is weird because i dont actually sleep. im nocturnal baby. and im loving every minute of it. :D mwhahaha. um yeah. so yeah anyway, i take these GROSS sleeping tablets. which smell like theyve bin up someones ass, which is only the start because THEN you have to put them in your mouth. which is when you realise they taste like it too.

 so its not very good

*sighs* but anyway. Lifes just a giant sedative. :s something like that anyway

hah. ok so today, anyways.

my dad left for london again after the weekend, and my mom makes me say bye to him. Ok the bye part isnt all that bad but its when i have to HUG him. its so fake and put on . we both know neither of us want to be there, but we do it anyway.

that sucks right?

but I do it for my mom.

ok FOCUS its now 12:15 am. homework. still not done.

not good. definatly not good

aaah just SCREW IT. i mean REALLY. when will any of this be relevant in every day life?

NEVAR

uug. gonna go.

Nighty nighty my dear souriya.

 may the angels be watching you

483085 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-01-29
Written: (7115 days ago)

Hey chick. well diary, whatever.
So i was bored one day (actually today) and i realised that my diary is both sad and empty. So, me being the caring person i really am, decided to make it um, happy and full :D. I know, I know. how nice of me. :D. Ok first things first, I think the dairy needs a name.
How about...
hmmm...Fabio! yeah, that’s kind of weird. My diary kinda looks like a dude, but feel free to change whenever you want...im okay with that.
ooh how about
Ursula Andréa’s phileepo the second.
Now that has a special ring to it. apart from it sounds kinda girly. ooouuug im confused. What about Souriya. Pronounced like Soriya...Now that’s pretty.
Yes I know its a chicks name but screeew you, maybe tomorrow you'll be a real boy Souriya.

so souriya, lets get some serious diary action going on here. Well right now its 2:26 and I’ve just had my cereal :D yummy. Cheerio’s. <<Even better. Well last night I went out for Chinese (my favourite) with some family and I think I may have possibly had a leeetul bit to drink. Vodka and lemonade lol…yummy. Well anyways I have a pretty big family, the kind that just love being centre of attention, Not my mom and dad, just my aunt and uncle who are SO loud. I was just sitting there, quietly sipping on my alcohol like a good little girl, while they laughed as loud as is humanly possible. Got home after walking into like 5 tables and sleeeped. Lol. Sleeeped. I am a brilliant drunk :D. but I got a really bad headache and I was wondering, is it possible to have a hangover while your still drunk? Ug, well if not, theres a start for everything.
I woke up bright and early (1:00 pm) and had my cheerio’s in bed, which then started a huge row with mom how eating on my bed will get it messy and since she does the washing ‘all the time’ its more work for her. Which actually isn’t true because:
A) Its my bed
B) She does not do the washing ‘all the time’. Sometimes I do it.
C) She never asks me to do it anyway.

anyways today I woke up bright and early (1:00) all raring to go. Ate my cheerios as I mentioned and went down stairs to have a joyous conversation with my parents. Don’t get me wrong, I like my mom, its just My DAD I have a problem with. Well its not really a problem anymore because we’ve kinda accepted it that we don’t get along. He doesn’t talk to me and I don’t talk to him. When he does talk to me its like ‘how are you’ (in a really patronising voice which drives me INSANE) and before I can even answer he’s gone. But its okay. Its life. He’s living in London right now because he’s jobs over there so its just my mom and my brother over here (they haven’t broken up or anything, he just works there and comes back for the weekend). So you know, life is good. Im not one of those people who are constantly depressed. Im a happy person. :D you see, Souriya isn’t one of those diaries who are full of depressing shit about how they wanna kill themselves followed up by some beautiful images of slitted wrists. That’s really not my style :D.
This is why Souriya is BEAUTIFUL AND DIFFERENT AND YOU SHOULD READ HER.
Well you know, im not writing this for people to read, im writing this because I just need to talk about stuff and writing is such a good reliever for me because I know that no matter what I say noone can correct me (I swear that if you message me now telling me about my spelling or something I will punch you :D) or tell me how I should be feeling. I can just say what I want to say and feel okay about it.

Sometimes it feels like life goes to quickly for me. Or maybe it’s just that im slow. Yup. Im slow. But sometimes life seems to be going sooo slow, agonisingly boring and yet your raring to go. Its like nothing really goods happening and you have no motivation to make something good happen. You cant be bothered getting up off your ass to do something that will change things encase it all blows up in your face. Well its prolly just be but still. J

Well theres nothing to do now. Im gonna go eat some cake.

Toodles Souriya.
I love you xxxx

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