[choke_on_dreams]'s diary

494046  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

Have you realised. that   

whereever you go, there you are 


This diary is going to be used for my philosophical rambellings

enjoy
494041  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

has anyone else noticed that i write my diary entrys weirdly? With all the diffent

fonts
and

sizes

and stuff?

its because im such a creative person. lol. jkjk

But really, i find creativity and passion (for something very very Attractive)

Like. for example. If the person i love is very passionate about something, music or art, or whatever ...i find that very attractive. I dont know why i just Do.

I love people i can talk to. If there isnt an instant attraction between the minds then i dont think anything will move Very far. its just what i think.

It couldnt Ever be love.


I LOVE LOVE


teeheehee
494010  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7101 days ago)

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk [.rejection.]
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid [suffering and sorrow], but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or

love.

Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his
freedom.

Only a person who takes risks is

free.



^^
very very true
^^

dont give up on me....
493995  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7101 days ago)

nothing to say.

but ill try. just for you

Well things are good right now. reeeaaallllyyy good. I dont know why, but you know when you just feel happy.

^^thats the feeling^^

Well we're having a party thing right now. But their all my moms and dads friends. bah. humbug. They're all down stairs getting drunk

mwhahahahaha. The computer shall be mine. for eternity.

or whenever. 
I just WISH. there was somebody to talk to me :( *Cries*.

okay mally. get a grip. teehehe. sorry

wee lookie [ i got a picture of my teddy bear] (the one i 'technically' lost yet won at the fair) - kissing me! 
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/photo/95873_1108248416.jpg>
he makes me so happy *tear*
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/photo/95873_1108248465.jpg>
See, we are the cutest EVAR. Nobody, and i mean nobody could love me more...and I couldnt love anybody more...:)
493982  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7101 days ago)

my purrrfect guy....



[Hair Color:] Dark brown and black, i prefer the whole dark look...but when you think about it, it doesnt matter at all.
[Eye Color:] dark hair and light eyes. wow. but dark eyes are just as pretty
[Height: ]not very tall because i aint tall, but taller than me nonetheless
[Six Pack:] lol well i wouldnt complain
[Long or Short Hair:] Long...
[Glasses or contacts:] I dont mind, both can look cute. Whatever he wears, i cant make him change :S
[Piercings:] oh most definatly
[Scars: ]nah, but if he does, hey, i wont freak out, you cant change something like that
[Buff or Skinny:] in between. I not bothered. Just not too scrawny lol.
[Funny or Serious:] He's gotta make me laugh. But i guess he has to be serious when he needs to be.
[Party or Stay at home:] Both, it doesnt matter aslong as your with that person right?
[Should he know how to cook:] just a chinease take out would be fine. XD
[Should he have a best friend: ] sure why not?
[Should he have a lot of girl friends:] sure
[Outgoing or Shy:] Inbetween, not too shy and not too loud. I love loners. I love the quiet guy at parties, i love the guy who sits at the back of the bus with noone sitting aorund him. I just wanna hug those people. Just stand there and hug them...xXx
[Sarcastic or Sincere:] Sarcastic to the extent that he makes me laugh, but not to hurt me...he should know when to stop being a jackass and be sincere
[Should he watch chick flicks:] If he wants to...:S
[Would he smoke: ] prefrably no
[Would he drink:] sure! its his choice but , he shouldnt be an alcoholic.
[Would he swear:] Hell yeah
[Would he play with your hair:] aww that would be cute.
[One or more girls at a time: ]just the one...meeee.
[Bad Boy or Good Boy:] Both when he wants to be
[Would he kiss you on the first date:] Yeah, but only if the moment was right. not just because....
[Where would you go to dinner: ]Anywhere, aslong as we were with eachother :P
[Would he bring you flowers: ]doesnt really matter.But if he bought a twirl that would be a whole new ball game. :P im joking guys...
[Would he lay under the stars with you:] aw yeah....
[Would he write poetry about you:] if he was like that, i wouldnt say no. It would be very sweet.
[Would he call you hunny or baby:] Yeah, but not just for the sake of it, it would have to be a name that ment something to us.
[Would he hang out with your friends:] I wouldnt force him to, he should hang out with whoever he wants. but he should respect my friends......XD
[Would you hang out with his friends:] ofcourse....!lol
[Would he walk you to the door at the end of the date:] yeah...
[Would he hold your hand:] Yes
[Would he play sports:] sure...
[Would he sing:] whatever he wants...
[Would he play an instrument:] no need, but my dream guy would play the guitar or the drums..lol
[Would he keep his room clean:] naaah...
[Would he paint, draw or sculpt:] yeah i guess ide love a creative guy, its not just about drawing painting and sculpting though....
[Would he write his own music:] it would be very creative...
[Would he use the word "dude":] sure
[Would he use the word "tight'':] well if its how he speaks i cant change that
[Would he watch the sunrise or sunset with you:] yeah *aww*
[What kind of vehicule would he drive:] anything....
[How old would he be:] older than me. like 3/4 years?
[does that resemble your current boyfriend]: oh god, my ''current boyfriend' kicks the shit out the guy up there ^^

493967  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7101 days ago)

all dressed up and nowhere to go
492969  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-11
Written: (7102 days ago)

I don’t ask you understand me,
Because I barley understand myself,
But I ask of you to accept me,
Accept me as me,
nothing

more
and nothing
less
,
I ask you not to judge me
before experiencing my spirit and my soul,
before getting to know me
I know I may not have the problems of the world
But mine seem pretty

big

too,
So I ask of you to humour me and tell me everything will be O.K,
Sometimes I need to fight my own battles
I ask you to give me space 

Sometimes I need your tender cuddles
I ask you to stand beside me
[Tell me you love me once in a while,]
Sometimes I forget,
And when you do, I ask you to mean it, because I might do something stupid and believe it,
Please don’t leave me when the sky is
falling,

When my world is crumbling down,
I ask of you to help me,
I ask you to love me for the person I am because
that’s all I can be,

Please understand I am not perfect, no matter how much I try,
I ask you not to take advantage of me but to guide me,
I ask you to understand that [material things don’t matter] to me, all I need is you,
The only thing that matters right now
Is

you

and

me


What they think they know Will
never compare


If we are sure of ourselves, and we know what we need, everything will be

ok


I dont care about what other people think. They dont know me and they dont know you. They have no idea of what is really going on.

Let them talk.

Let them think

Let them shout

Let them Scream

Let them cry

Let them laugh

Let them try try to stop us

[it wont matter]

Becuase...

nothing comapares




thats just something for the people out there who think they cant make it because what other people [will say or do]. It doesnt matter in the end...
492940  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-11
Written: (7102 days ago)

I feel kinda queesy

I dont know why, maybe its because i havnt had breakfast or something
bah. humbug lol.

492916  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-11
Written: (7102 days ago)

(0) Name: call me mally :)
(1) Your gender: female
(2) Straight/gay/BÂI?: straight
(3) Single?: nupo
(4) Want to be?: not at all
(5) Your birthday: april 22
(6) Age your act: I really don’t know….:) depends on the situation :) diversity baby. lol
(7) Age you wish you were: 16..? im okay with where I am right now.
(8) Your height: uh im not sure, but its small.
(9) The color of your eyes: Dark brown
(10) Happy with it?: ofcourse :)
(11) The color of your hair: purple/red/brown/black
(12) Happy with it?: extremely :P
(13) Left/right/ambÂidextrous?: righty
(14) Your living arrangement?: my mom and brother (Dads in London…thank god. But their still together and everything, he just works there)
(27) Your family: mom, dad and a brother.
(29) What's your job: ah, just going to school lol. Not really a job, child labour ide say.
(30) Piercing?: yah my ears..so far
(31) Tattoos?:nup
(32) Obsessions?:oh wow. I have a few. Twirls, eyeliner, nick (Weee) oh man, I have much more I just cant think.
(35) Do you speak another language : yeah huh
(36)do you have a faviort quote if so what is it?: shoot for the moon, if you miss, you’ll end up in the stars. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. If you can DREAM IT. You can DO IT. – there are so many more where that came from
(37) Do you have a WebPage?: yeah I did
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?:very much so. Its when I think to myself ‘come on, live for now, you might never get this chance again’ that I usually do things.
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: I try to be
(40) Do you have any secrets?: I guess so, but generally im an open person.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: No, I don’t :)
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: lol, if im making an effort.
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: oh god, yeah.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?:that um im retarded? Lol. Or that im stubborn ?:(
(45) If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called?: ‘the movie of my life?’ – perhaps?
(46) What's 1 of my biggest fears: I guess just being alone.
(47) Can you sing: not at all. Therefore I dont
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no, not ever…:S
(49) Are you a loner?: I can be. I have friends, but you know when you’re with so many people but you still feel alone? I guess that makes me a loner huh?
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yes…:) im a nice person
(52) Are you a daredevil?: definatly. 
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: I guess I can be both, depending.
(55) Have you got a question?: I got lots of questions. But none that im gonna ask a questionnaire thing :) sorry :P
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength: my personality I guess? The way I can communicate with people? Or maybe that I listen to people? Weakness: self conscieseness….
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself? Im happy with the way I am. Thanks :)
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: love all the way. Love makes you beautiful. And love is creative in its own way.
(59) How do you vent?: how do I what?!
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: I try to be.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:there are lots of things I would ‘redo’ but no, I don’t live in regrets. Its no way to live. 
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: its been better than good. Its been amazing. 
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Just be yourself, don’t listen to what others have to say, if you know what you want to do in life, just do it. If you need to say something to someone, just say it, don’t wait, because sometimes nothing will ever happen. Ive learnt so much from life….
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: I guess that’s for you to say right?
(65) And least?: my feet!?
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: no body is ugly, but no, I don’t think im beautiful.
(67) Are you confident?: no….:S
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: thumbelina. Lol. No idea.
69) Do people know how you feel?: maybe one person?
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: Its more about how I pervieve myself. I know whati am, and what im not, it depends on how different people see me. Nobodies vision is the same. :) vision : the ability to see the invisible.
(71) Smoke?: tried. No
(72) Do drugs?: tried., no (Well alcohol. Yes?)
(73) Read the newspaper?: I try to, but the pages get kinda screwy. Lol.
(74) Pray?: When I really really really need something. Which is selfish I know. But its last restort sorta thing, when I realise that nothing I can say or do is going to change anything, maybes somebody else will///
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: Just until I get an idea of their character. And then decide if I keep going.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: nah :P
(78) Take walks in the rain?: Defiantly.
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: I don’t hate anybody
(80) Drive?: noooo
(81) Like to drive fast?: no car…but ya!
HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: not when its trying to sing. lol
(83) Hurt yourself?: not intentionally.
(84) Been out of the country?: yeah
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: I don’t think so. But then again – I prolly have
(86) Burped?: ya
(87) Been unfaithful?: no
(88) Been in love?: I don’t know :) how can you define love?
(89) Done drugs?: yeah
(90) Gone skinny-dippingÂ?: not….yet..
(92) Had a surgery?: nah
(93) Ran away from home?: no
(94) Played strip poker?: oh lol yeah. Once.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: not really badly
(97) Been picked on?: yes
(98) Been on stage?: uh huh
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: *Reads* how about no?
(100) Slept outdoors?: yah lol
(101) Thought about suicide?: maybe once but ide never do it. More of a moment sorta thing like ‘OMG I WANT TO DIE’.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: oooh yes
(103) If yes, what is your record?: well all night till the next night when I had to go to sleep.
(104) Gone one day without food?: oh man, I don’t think so
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: not ALL night. Maybe from like 1 – 5:00 lol. OOOPS
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: hmmm I don’t think so
(107) Slept all day? Not all day . record is maybe like 3:30 lol.
(108) Killed someone?: ahem…maybe…no.
(109) Made out with a stranger?: no
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: no
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: I know. I don’t ‘think’ it.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: lol
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no
(114) Been betrayed?: I think so
(115) Had a dream that came true?: hmmmm…yes?
(116) Broken the law?: hm I don’t know
(117) Met a famous person?: yes haha.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: uh no?
(146) Stolen anything?:lol like a sweet.
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: hahah YESSSSS
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: no :( not yet
(149) Had a nervous breakdown? maybe
(150) Considered religious vocation?: a religious wha?
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: lol noo .
(152) Bungee jumped?: yeaaaah
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: oh man yeah. Im at my aunts house and I run, im being chased or something and then I JUMPED all the way down the stairs. That was oooo fucking scary. And then im sitting on achair. Just on top of a clff, and the chair tilts forward. Im not moving or anything, I know I wont actually fall of the chair, im glued on it or something, but then it just tilts and tilts until aaah…
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: uniform? Yeah it sucks.
(159) Wear hats?: ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
(160) Judge other people by their clothing?: no not at all.
(161) Wear make-up? Nah. I have nothing to hide. Lol. I just don’t wear make up, I think that I feel prettier without it.
(163) Favorite article of eallyclothing?: eally clothing? Whats that
(164) Are you trendy?: naah . I just wear what I wanna wear .
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: I already do .
(175) Love at first sight?: nooo. Lust at first sight. Not LOVE. Love is so much deeper than that.
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? If you really love somebody, whats stopping you? If that one person is EVERYTHING to you, what more do you want?
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: actually. The rainbow doesn’t end. Its kinda inspirational in its own rights…like, something so beautiful doesn’t ever finish. I mean, who really wants a pot of gold at the end? Bah. Humbug.
(181) Do you wish on stars:? yes
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: uh not really. 
(183) Do you remember your first love?: I don’t think ive been in love. I rmember my crushes though
(184) Still love him?: no
(185) Do you consider love a mistake:love ‘cant’ ever be a mistake.
(186) What do you find romantic?: something with meaning…
(187) Turn-on?: confidence. How they handle themselves around others, sensitivity. They way they talk to me.
(188) Turn-off?: ego
(189) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: no never
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating, expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: very VERY flattered.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating him or her or going on a date: yeah I think so, well actually, it depends on the person ?
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: who cares about what society thinks
203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yes
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I guess you have to ask them
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: how do you mean?
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: ^^
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: uh..head phones :S
(208) Are you in love?: I hope so
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: oh gawd yeah.
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot girl standing on the sidewalk?: well firstly im a girl, so mayve ide say ‘wow shes pretty, goddamn her’ and then that’s it
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: izzy. Probably
(212) You wanted to kill?: I don’t want to kill anyone
(213) That you laughed at?: Nick . (but its just SO easy)
(214) That laughed at you?: Nick (I guess that’s SO easy too)
(215) that you spoke to ?: ben :S 
(216) You went shopping with?: Emma and stevo
(217) That broke your heart?: my hearts okay :)

(218) To disappoint you?: umm, oh man, I don’t know
(219) to you asked out?:mr. Squeezy head. You know who im talking about :P
(220) To make you cry?: my MOM
(221) To brighten up your day?:niiiick
(222) That you thought about?:izzy :( I miss youuu
(225) You talked to through an IM?: Ben and craig :S
(223) You saw a movie with?: oh god I havnt seen a movie in so long.
(224) You talked to on the phone?:This mystery person who just called me, I have no idea who he is, but it was kinda fun.
(226) You saw?: my mom and brother?
(227) You lost?: I lost?
(229) You thought was completely insane?:nick. Most definatly
(230) You wanted to be?: I don’t know
(231) You told off: uh my brothers goddamn friends. They are SOOO annoying
(232) You trusted?: nick?
(233) You turned down?: mr. Squeezy head. lol
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: I am smiling :)
(235) Laughed?: like a few minutes ago…see I told you im a happy person
(236) Cried?: umm i cant remember, a coupla days ago?
(237) Bought something? I don’t remember
(238) Danced?: all the time
(239) Were sarcastic?: lol all the time. Maybe like 2 minutes ago.
(240) hugged someone?: uuh a day?
(241) Talked to an ex?: maybe two days ago?
(242) Watched your fave movie?: sooo long ago
(243) Had a nightmare?:I cant remember
(245) Talked on the phone?: a few moments ago lol
(246) Listened to the radio?:actually I don’t listen to the radio.
(247) Watched TV?: last night – I was watching : when teenagers go bad, and ‘orgasimatron’ (OMG IT WAS SO FUNNY- apparently scientists are trying to make it possible to have an orgasim by pressing a button. Lol. All there was is just ooold ocuples having sex while some scientist guy sat in the room taking notes and shit. It was like ooowweee)
(248) Went out??? yesterday
(250) Were mean?: hmm I try not to be :) im a nice person
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: so long ago
(254) Missed someone?: all the time
(255) Fought with a family
member?: last night.
(256) Fought with a friend?:not for a while
(257) Had a serious conversation?: dude. Me an nick ARE THE GODS OF SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS.
(258) Got drunk?: umm actually maybe a week ago?
(259) Had sex?:never
(260)had breakfast?: actually no, not yet
(261)Whos your best girl friends: IZZY IZZY IZZY (all the way) and HATTY HATTY HATTY
(262)Whos your best guy friends: there are a few :S
(263)Where do you hang out?: anywhere and everywhere
(264)Best looks?: hmmmmm, all my friends are SO beautiful.
(265)Best hair?: ME goddammit. Lol. I don’t know
(266)Best eyes?: I don’t know
(267)Most trusted by you: harriet
(268) tallest: harriet probably
(269)Shortest?: meee
(270)Best friends for ever and ever?: izzy and hatty
(271)Smartest?: Rosalind.
(272)Pyromanic?:
(273)Tolkienish: IZZY
(274)Style?: Whatever they/I wanna wear
(275)Funniest?: huh. We’re all retards
(276) Serious?: rosie
(277)Can keep secrets? hatty
(278) Favorite weather: sunny
(279) Favorit song: to many to list
(280)favorit color: pink and black
(281)favorite sound: dont know
(282) Astrological sign: aries/taurus

492656  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-10
Written: (7103 days ago)

just when i was getting over yesterday

along came today
492203  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-10
Written: (7103 days ago)

hmmmph. i was talking to colin [hollow heart]

until he LEFT me.

Now all i have is 2 turkish perverts.

life just gets better and better lol

491558  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-02-09
Written: (7104 days ago)

Perhaps the whole ' go on rides till i am SICK' thing didnt really work out.

Doesnt feel as appealing as it sound.

Holy fuck, im going to be sick

lol. well. it wasnt that bad

I won a teddy :) H'es uber cute.

im giving it to nick as a valentines present.

 well, its the thought that counts.

I cant actually 'give' it it to him. Im sure he'll be just FINE'


But yeah. what to know something?
<

sure you do

>

[i didnt really win it]

Actually. I lost miserably.

Sort of a loosing present.

Actually, it was 'unclasified'. I didnt even get enough points to loose

([but no, i dont intend to prance around saying i 'lost a teddy' - even thought i actually gained one. :) Winning one sounds better anyways])

Pathetic eh?

491251  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-02-09
Written: (7104 days ago)

going to the <3valentines fair<3 with...my....

MOM


well its tradition, i love it.

gonna go on rides till i puke. trust me, i do everytime but i love it.

weee. Definatly looking forward to it.

 my head hurts
oucho.

Oh my god, i walked into a giant shelf cabinate thing..

ovbiously something only I could possibly do


I think ive like dislocated my hip....


oh . well.

 shit happens
490842  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

dont you hate it how you log on and you see someone you need to talk to .

so you msg them when they were seen like 30 seconds ago

or something

and suddenly they aint there anymore...

its so frustrating lol

490803  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

suicide is the most selfish thing you could do
to somebody.

Your too weak to live but brave enough to die?

and wheres that gonna get you anyway?

People around you will be left Fucked up but you dont care....

Do you?
490686  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

Dont you just hate it when people interfere

when it has absolutley nothing to do with them.

just leave me alone!!

aaah. [feeling so much better now].

490395  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

 omg i cant believe i did that. so. SO. retarded
490394  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

All about me
I cant think why you would read this but yeah, if ever you want to ...........

If I were a profession I'd be: Umm…. Being ME would be a profession! (It is hard work)
If I were a country I'd be: Czechoslovakia…um lol, nah, I just wanted to say that. I don’t know. Oh ide be some exotic country that is yet to be discovered. I’de be my own paradise.
If I was a ocean or body of water I'd be: Indian Ocean or a raindrop . quite a big contrast but you know :) smiles all around.
If I was a piece of candy I'd be: Milk Chocolate OR TWIRLS (my fave yum yum)
If I was a famous building or piece of architecture I'd be: Statue of Liberty :) its had to be said
If I was a store I'd be: burnt down: p
If I was a brand of shoe I'd be: that is a weird question. But yeah probably vans
If I was a bad habit I'd be: I am a habit
If I was a swear word I'd be: FUCK
If I was a ice cream flavour I'd be: I don’t like icecream- way too cold
If I was a disease I'd be: insomnia
If I was a board game I'd be: umm…lol checkers :P yeah people who have played checkers will understand. I need all the practice I can get.
If I was a feeling I'd be: hysteria mwuhaha. Just happiness.
If I was a president I'd be: assasinated
If I was a war I'd be: stopped by me 
If I was a city I'd be: City of the Dead
If I was a colour I'd be: PINK or black !!!
If I was a celebrity I'd be: umm my own person…and fake boob free
If I was a movie I'd be: PORN lol ummm no IDEA…maybe pulp fiction or thirteen   
If I was a brand of toothpaste I'd be: Minty yet…taste like twirls
If I was a business I'd be: Bankrupt
If I was a currency I'd be: worthless
If I were a month, I'd be: April or July.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Saturday or friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: dusk
If I were a planet, I'd be: Pluto or saturn
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: a dolphin
If I were a direction, I'd be: lost ;)
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: A chair with 2 legs.
If I were a sin, I'd be: lust
If I were a liquid, I'd be: water or lipton ice tea lol
If I were a tree, I'd be: a willow tree by a stream
If I were a bird, I'd be: Eagle
If I were a tool, I'd be: uh. I don’t know?
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: A burnt /black rose or a lilly
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: a thunderstorm. Or just heavy rain.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: Drums and GUITAR!
If I were an animal, I'd be: roadkill?*coughs* I'd be an elephant.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: broccoli * u don’t win friends with salad* NO IM KIDDIIIIIING ide be a lone reed
If I were a sound, I'd be: laughter
If I were an element, I'd be: fire
If I were a car, I'd be: a Lamborghini
If I were a book, I'd be: 101 bunny suicides or talking to serial killers. Don’t you just love self help books? I swear that’s all I ever read. Or some deep philosophical book.
If I were a food, I'd be: burnt
If I were a material, I'd be: silk
If I were a taste, I'd be: bitter and spicy
If I were a word, I'd be: *Stares blankly* im a word??
If I were a body part, I'd be: eyes – is tht a body part- it is rite?
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: mad grin or just a seldom smile
If I were a shape, I'd be a: giant blob. What?! It’s a shape.
If I were a number, I'd be: 6 (no questions asked, none answered)
If I were a band, I'd be: ide be my own band :p
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: a pixie
If I were a religion, I would be: unreligionus
If I were a boy I'd be: gay?
If I was a profession I'd be: High paying
If I was a country I'd be: A new one
If I was a famous building or piece of architecture I'd be the statue of liberty I told u
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? The gathering light
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Mouse pad? I have none .o.O.

BABIES? YES YES YES

FAVOURITE SOUND? Rain and people laughing. I dunu whhhaaatever

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? the feeling that i have let someone down or disappointed them. AND um not being loved back…and feeling unbootiful, jelousy, lonely. Feeling alone.

FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? What the fuck just happened? And why arnt I asleep.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? . 3- 1 is natural 2, is being fashionably late and three is right and four is just ignorant u bastard. lol

FAVOURITE COLOUR? Of what ?... Too complicated to answer. (black and pink)

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? Life I guess, and the ppl in it

FAVOURITE FOOD? Chinese

If you could PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? drums or guitar. But I do play the piano.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? no car but yeh

SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? does a special pillow count??? Im joking. Just myself.
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? amazing

THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? Um my old best friend from essex

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? broccoli???? YES BABY

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Tv presenter

EVER BEEN IN LOVE ? hmmm I don’t know

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? mines empty cos I just drank it … but ill fill it up if ya like. (but answering your question : full)

FAVOURITE MOVIE? thirteen

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Prolly not. But im not complaining.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Hopefully no bodies

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 2 and 6

IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE on a giant white beach somwhere where I can see for miles & miles & miles - specific location would depend on where my heart and life takes me (home is where the heart is.) actually, no idea. Depends how im feeling and where I am in life…

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My underwear. And maybe my hat. maybe

BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? Umm beach and cities depends whn in my life – yes I do have it all planned out

TECHNOLOGY OR ART? technical Art?

COMEDY OR HORROR? Spoof.

FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Hands and feet and eyes

FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? dusk

THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? rancid

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back I guess and my head and hands

WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Strong in Mind. Definatly.

WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 7:26 exactly

What's YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? spatular ?

WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Inconsiderate & selfish behaviour and self obsessed people. Racisim, sexisim…all the isms.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yupo. I was an Egyptian godess. :)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Summer
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? To heal and to fly

CAN YOU JUGGLE? hopeless

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Friday

WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? have not tried sushi so so far hamburger definatly.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? and grim adventures of mandy and bill. Mona the vampire

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Chinese.

IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? New York…japan, infact, anywhere I can go. I love to travel.

DO YOU HAVE PETS? The tense wud be : did u have pets. And ide answer- yes and then cry lol

Number of candles on your last birthday cake. 14

Date that you regularly blow them out? whatttt? April 22nd? You mean my birthday? lol

Body piercing?
ears…but I WILL /want TOUNGUE and yummm belly

Ever been to Africa?
Not …yet….somebody has to abduct me and take me there sometime.

Stolen any traffic signs?
Not yet..hehehehehe

Ever been in a car accident?
no

Croutons or Bacon bits? Bacon

2 Door or 4 Door car?
4 door

Salad Dressing?
Salad????

Favourite Pie?
umm lemon

Favourite Holiday?
summer (those were the best days of my life….)

Favourite brand of body soap?
organic and something nice and smelly and looks nice and perhaps tastes nice too. Not that I eat it casually (hehe no just formally) but tht definaly helps

Toothpaste?
umm *runs to bathroom* colgate?

Perfume/Cologne?
so kiss me… 

What do you do to relax?
listen to music . write poems. Draw shit.

Favourite Fast Food?
Chinese I swear ive answered that about 3 or 4 times already…

When was your last hospital visit?
When I got knocked out

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 
Alive hopefully. And happy.

What do you do when you are bored?
umm make stuff, draw, rite stuff, ring ppl, go out and look at the big trees. 

What presents do you enjoy receiving from friends for birthday's
sentimental stuff with meaning …or them just being there see im a really nice person

Diamonds or pearls? Um material things special big rocks arnt tht important

what is your favorite TV show? As long as theres tv baby. We will all be just FINE

what did you have for breakfast?
Uh croissants

What is your middle name? I don’t have one

What is your favorite cuisine? CHINEISE…FUCKING CHINEASE

What food's do you dislike? TOMATOES and MARMITE. U either love it or u hate it.

I hate it


what is your favorite crisp flavor? I dunu..salt and vinegar or something spicy I dunno

Favorite sandwich? Butter and sugar

what characteristic do you despise? 
DISHONESTY SELFISHNESSS, SELF OBSESSED AND 2 FACED

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? AWAY

what color is your bathroom? Blue and blue

Favorite brand of clothing? Whtveer comfy

Where would you retire to? The ocean

Favorite time of the day? DUSK

what was your most memorable birthday? My first one

Coke or Pepsi? Its all to fizzy for me. I know im pathetic

Are you a morning person or a night owl? NIGHT OWL..more like a night lion hehe

what is your shoe size? It varies….betweem 2 3 and 4 strange I no

Do you have any pets? DID

What did you want to be when you were little? AIR HOSTESS SWIMMING INSTRUCTER(:S), TEACHER, ACTRESS, HAIR DRESSER, PILOT

Do you Smoke-smoke what?
Tatoos-no. 
Lucky Number-2
Favorite Time of Year- umm every day! Summer.
Favorite Instrument-drums piano and guitar
silence or noise- nosie. But silence when you need it.
luv or hate- luv or loving hate- no wait thts just weird. Love. Definatly love.
dark or light- depends….
best feeling-Love and happiness
laugh or cry- laugh or cry with laughter thts best
fast or slow- fast
sleep or awake- awake
shower or bath-shower!!
cry coz of a movie- maybe
most anoying thing about me- Im really dependant on people? I guess. I always need somebody around me. I guess that can piss people off. Or that I say what im thinking and sometimes they don’t like it. That pisses them off too.
bes thing about me : I don’t think that’s really something for me to say
most embarrasing time of my lifemy life is giant embarrassing moment. Were do I start. Alphabetical order? 
Most romantic moment ; when someone says I love you and really means it
funniest time of my life- too many
worst time of my life – positive please
do i believe in reincarnation-yes
do i believe in heaven and hell- not too sure
do i believe in god- well theres somebody out there I think but I think it’s a frog. But that’s just me. Theres definatly something or someone out there.  
worst tv program- fuck this im bored
Single or Taken: taken 
Sign- aries / Taurus (one of those weird people born on a cusp)
Pets-fuuucck
Ugly? : yeah
Kind? : yeh I think so
Loud? :hell ya
Shy? : sometimes
Weird? :oh yeah. Ask, ask, uh, ask anybody. 
Selfish? : hope not but I think I can be
Crazy?:yes
Nice? : hope so
Mean? : hope not
Immature? :can be
Rude? :can be sometimes
Cool? : not really…
Brat? :no I hope not
Caring? : hope so
Mature? :can be
A friend? :yup
More than a friend? : I guess that’s for you to say?
Talkative? :oh ya
Creative?: yeah :)
Confusing? :YES
Sweet? :Indeed
Mood swings? :sometimes, but not often.
Annoying? :can be
Funny? : funny to laugh at- yes
Hyper? :yup
Laid back? : Yeah I guess
Perfect? :Not at all.
Good Looking? : yeah…RIGHT
Good personality? : Its…differnt
think I'll get married?: Most definatly. If you’ll have me.
Married: YES 
WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR... 
Paper: burn
Candle: burn
Mouse pad: pad mouse?
Door: open
Pictures: memories
Flowers: lillies
Pencil: blurred
I see: pain
I need: you
I find: myself
I want: love
I have: a heart
I wish: star
I love: you
I hate: hating
I miss: you
I fear: loosing
I feel: pain
I hear: rain
I smell: rain
I wonder: why

Current location: leeds
Eye color: brown
Hair color: dark brown black (naturally) but rite now its red/purple. Redyed red though.
Righty or lefty:Righty
Your weakness: Love . the people I care about getting hurt.
Your perfect pizza: hmmm none thanks?
Goal you'd like to achieve: live my life to the fullest and get everything ive ever wanted. Be happy with how everythings been. Fall in love with someone :) make them as happy as they made me
Your best physical feature: isn’t that for you to say?
Your bedtime: late
Your most missed memory: I don’t remember :D
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: LIPTON ICE TEA
Chocolate or vanilla: NONE
Cappuccino or coffee: icky
Smoke: what?
Sing: CANT. WONT TRY
Take a shower every day: yup 
Have a crush(es): right now, yes
Want to go to college: yes!
Like high school: its okay :)
Want to get married: yes
Believe in yourself: a little
Get motion sickness: a bit
Think you're attractive: nope 
Think you're a health freak: I like to keep healthy.!
Get along with your parents: I love my mommy. My dad? No comment fuckin bastard 
Like thunderstorms: they are so beautiful
Play an instrument: wanna play drums n guitar. I play piano
In the past month...
Drank alcohol: yes
Had sex: No
Made out: nein
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall: yeah 
Made homemade cookies: yumm..no I made a cake
Dyed your hair: yes
Stolen anything: no
Age you hope to be married: whenever I meet the right person. Hopefully like 23 or 24 pr 25.
Describe what your heaven is: Happiness... whatever it is to you.
How do you want to die: happy and ready to go.
What country would you most like to visit: anyplace I can
In a guy/girl...
Best first date location: wherever it wouldn’t matter , as long as your with that person its all good.
Best first kiss location: in rain would be very cute but its more of a moment right? Rather than a location?
Number of people I could trust with my life: nobody, maybe one 
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: ¾
Number of scars on my body: I don’t know
Number of things in my past that I regret: a lot but I wouldn’t change any of it.

490382  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7105 days ago)

Is everybody asleep or something?
like, is everybody dead?

aaah this sucks

anyways listen

I want a party....

Well it cant be a

huge

party, i think my mom would have a few things to say to that.

So lets call it a [social gathering].

Sounds kinda better.

 now on to other news and headlines


uh. i stayed up last night doing yet another drawing...

ive really taken to this new drawing fetish

Its so calming

Just as calming as writing
poetry
is for me.

An artists weapon is his pencil.

Its very true

I like drawing naked chicks to :) lol.

No but really, their SO beautiful....

okay maybe thats why people dont want to marry me

LOL

you know what? i feel like doing those
 super unique quiz thingies 
...gonna go find one....

adios people
489874  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-02-07
Written: (7106 days ago)

hmm.

[no requests yet....]

Is it the whole

wedding dress senario
thats putting people off?

or is it just me?

I wonder....:(

489840  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-02-07
Written: (7106 days ago)

bored.

so very very bored.

inescapebly bored

so i figured. Ide talk to you :) because im so nice and caring and considerate and all that....=)

you know what i was thinking? That i would love to do? Just be in a really

big

poofy white wedding dress....

and then just go out into the rain .....

Get a little mud on me too :)

Just to see the look on those peoples faces when they see me nothing compares

I think im going to do that sometime..

Anyone wanna marry me ?

lol
 please leave your requests on my guestbook or just messge me :) ill get back to you :P


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