[choke_on_dreams]'s diary
listening to jeff Buckley : halleluja.
amazing song
okay i got some Serious talking to do. well typing.
but omg , after the song. i cannot multitask.. apparantly girls can
i cant
uh oh.
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]
Maybe I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]
There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]
Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
[Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
]
*tear* beautiful.
Okay anyways about this thing
So theres this girl. And we have very odd sorta relationship. I think shes really confused about who she wants to hang out with ect and doesnt really stick with one crowd. which is okay i guess. She gets close to me, and then a few months later shes gone and then again and gone and again and gone . well the first time, it was kinda difficult because i am the sort of person who is quite possessive about friends and likes to keep em vclose lol ya know? But now ive kind of [accepted who she is...icant change it] i realise that, so i dont. But Recently we've been getting close...again. just talking and stuff. I dont know if i should keep a distance to Avoid me getting hurt again ([trust me, within a few months shell be
gone])...or if i should just go for it and stop worrying all the time about what could happen?? hrrrmph.
Shes just there when i need her, you know? and its like, when i want to talk to someone about something...shes proving to be the someone.
blah. Life is too confusing. I decided im just going to ['go with it'].
uug Tommorow i was Supposed to meet my aunt ([we're really really close- i tell her
everything]) on amazing msn msger...BUT im also kinda going to a party (james brabs).
So uh. i dont know.
It finishes at 11. [meeeh]. maybe ill call her. anyways im looking forward to tomorow.
actually wait. maybe noti have my piano grade exams which i feel totally unprepared for. Then i have my Chemistry test which i am undoubtedly going to
Fail
.Chemistry is one of those subjects my brain (or lack of) refuses to do. I cant argue with him ^_^.
BUT (see im trying to be optimistic here...)
Atleast i get to wake up at
9:00
and miss first two periods (german and physics- YESSSSS)becky is my bitch.
*hugs souriya*
I think
souriyaneeds some diary love.
Shes got a valentine....his names Steven. its [indigo boy]'s
diary
They are SO cute together.
*keeps hugging*
[valentines day]
lalalalalalala
Commericalised rubbish? you say? *shrugs* probably. But when you have a beautiful and amazing boyfriend to share it with...:)
things seem alot better...
Hehehehe. and omfg [ELFTOWN IS PINK]. i almost died.
almost
for once i got [valentines cards *gasp*]. Im SO flattered.
its been one special day.
happy valentines day guys :P I love you all :)
oh man, doesnt my happyness
sickenyou?....
my foot hurts
*shrugs*
and I still love you nick
OMFG. IZZY'S BACK
Isnt is so Amazing.
You just walk down a street and you see a couple together. just standing there. just see the way the girls holding onto him, like she never wants him to let her go and hes looking into her eyes like shes the most beautiful person ever.
And the thing is. SHE IS.
And they wont Ever let go.
You can tell so much from their eyes.
Sometimes you can say it the best when you dont say anything At all.
When you can say So much just by looking at the person you know that you love
I think think you realise that he's all you ever need.
And he is.
he saves you
he makes you beautiful
so your the bitch that told the bitch that im a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch to call a bitch a bitch.
bitch
Dear dorothy
hate Oz.
Took the bloody Shoes
find your
ownway home.
bitch
LoL. i read some where that one out of every four people is mentally unstable.
Take a look at
three of your closest friends
if they seem normal
i guess your the one eh?
omg.
I just asked my mom why cats drink from the toilet.
SHE said its because 'the waters colder'.
and im like
HOW DOES MY MOM KNOW THAT?'
LIFE IS STRANGE. or its just my family
its like, the other day my my friend and i Were on the computer, and i think my clothes were on the bed.
My mom prances and says to me:
'mally get you clothes off'
I just Stared at her.
She just laughed and said she meant take it of the bed.
uh huh. sure mom. Lets go drink some [toilete water....]....its colder remember?
my good friend kermit the frog:
'times fun when you're having flies'
couldnt agree with you more buddy.
Have you realised. that whereever you go, there you are
This diary is going to be used for my philosophical rambellings
enjoy
has anyone else noticed that i write my diary entrys weirdly? With all the diffent
fontsand
sizes
and stuff?its because im such a creative person. lol. jkjk
But really, i find creativity and passion (for something very very Attractive)
Like. for example. If the person i love is very passionate about something, music or art, or whatever ...i find that very attractive. I dont know why i just Do.
I love people i can talk to. If there isnt an instant attraction between the minds then i dont think anything will move Very far. its just what i think.
It couldnt Ever be love.
I LOVE LOVE
teeheehee
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk [.rejection.]
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid [suffering and sorrow], but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or
love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his
freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is
free.
^^
very very true^^
dont give up on me....
nothing to say.
but ill try. just for you
Well things are good right now. reeeaaallllyyy good. I dont know why, but you know when you just feel happy.
^^thats the feeling^^
Well we're having a party thing right now. But their all my moms and dads friends. bah. humbug. They're all down stairs getting drunk
mwhahahahaha. The computer shall be mine. for eternity.
or whenever.I just WISH. there was somebody to talk to me :( *Cries*.
okay mally. get a grip. teehehe. sorry
wee lookie [ i got a picture of my teddy bear] (the one i 'technically' lost yet won at the fair) - kissing me!
he makes me so happy *tear*
See, we are the cutest EVAR. Nobody, and i mean nobody could love me more...and I couldnt love anybody more...:)
my purrrfect guy....
[Hair Color:] Dark brown and black, i prefer the whole dark look...but when you think about it, it doesnt matter at all.
[Eye Color:] dark hair and light eyes. wow. but dark eyes are just as pretty
[Height: ]not very tall because i aint tall, but taller than me nonetheless
[Six Pack:] lol well i wouldnt complain
[Long or Short Hair:] Long...
[Glasses or contacts:] I dont mind, both can look cute. Whatever he wears, i cant make him change :S
[Piercings:] oh most definatly
[Scars: ]nah, but if he does, hey, i wont freak out, you cant change something like that
[Buff or Skinny:] in between. I not bothered. Just not too scrawny lol.
[Funny or Serious:] He's gotta make me laugh. But i guess he has to be serious when he needs to be.
[Party or Stay at home:] Both, it doesnt matter aslong as your with that person right?
[Should he know how to cook:] just a chinease take out would be fine. XD
[Should he have a best friend: ] sure why not?
[Should he have a lot of girl friends:] sure
[Outgoing or Shy:] Inbetween, not too shy and not too loud. I love loners. I love the quiet guy at parties, i love the guy who sits at the back of the bus with noone sitting aorund him. I just wanna hug those people. Just stand there and hug them...xXx
[Sarcastic or Sincere:] Sarcastic to the extent that he makes me laugh, but not to hurt me...he should know when to stop being a jackass and be sincere
[Should he watch chick flicks:] If he wants to...:S
[Would he smoke: ] prefrably no
[Would he drink:] sure! its his choice but , he shouldnt be an alcoholic.
[Would he swear:] Hell yeah
[Would he play with your hair:] aww that would be cute.
[One or more girls at a time: ]just the one...meeee.
[Bad Boy or Good Boy:] Both when he wants to be
[Would he kiss you on the first date:] Yeah, but only if the moment was right. not just because....
[Where would you go to dinner: ]Anywhere, aslong as we were with eachother :P
[Would he bring you flowers: ]doesnt really matter.But if he bought a twirl that would be a whole new ball game. :P im joking guys...
[Would he lay under the stars with you:] aw yeah....
[Would he write poetry about you:] if he was like that, i wouldnt say no. It would be very sweet.
[Would he call you hunny or baby:] Yeah, but not just for the sake of it, it would have to be a name that ment something to us.
[Would he hang out with your friends:] I wouldnt force him to, he should hang out with whoever he wants. but he should respect my friends......X
[Would you hang out with his friends:] ofcourse....!l
[Would he walk you to the door at the end of the date:] yeah...
[Would he hold your hand:] Yes
[Would he play sports:] sure...
[Would he sing:] whatever he wants...
[Would he play an instrument:] no need, but my dream guy would play the guitar or the drums..lol
[Would he keep his room clean:] naaah...
[Would he paint, draw or sculpt:] yeah i guess ide love a creative guy, its not just about drawing painting and sculpting though....
[Would he write his own music:] it would be very creative...
[Would he use the word "dude":] sure
[Would he use the word "tight'':] well if its how he speaks i cant change that
[Would he watch the sunrise or sunset with you:] yeah *aww*
[What kind of vehicule would he drive:] anything....
[How old would he be:] older than me. like 3/4 years?
[does that resemble your current boyfriend]: oh god, my ''current boyfriend' kicks the shit out the guy up there ^^
all dressed up and nowhere to go
I don’t ask you understand me,
Because I barley understand myself,
But I ask of you to accept me,
Accept me as me,
nothing
moreand nothing
less,
I ask you not to judge me
before experiencing my spirit and my soul,
before getting to know me
I know I may not have the problems of the world
But mine seem pretty
big
too,So I ask of you to humour me and tell me everything will be O.K,
Sometimes I need to fight my own battles
I ask you to give me space
Sometimes I need your tender cuddles
I ask you to stand beside me
[Tell me you love me once in a while,]
Sometimes I forget,
And when you do, I ask you to mean it, because I might do something stupid and believe it,
Please don’t leave me when the sky is
falling,
When my world is crumbling down,
I ask of you to help me,
I ask you to love me for the person I am because
that’s all I can be,
Please understand I am not perfect, no matter how much I try,
I ask you not to take advantage of me but to guide me,
I ask you to understand that [material things don’t matter] to me, all I need is you,
The only thing that matters right now
Is
you
andme
What they think they know Will
never compare
If we are sure of ourselves, and we know what we need, everything will be
ok
I dont care about what other people think. They dont know me and they dont know you. They have no idea of what is really going on.
Let them talk.
Let them think
Let them shout
Let them Scream
Let them cry
Let them laugh
Let them try try to stop us
[it wont matter]
Becuase...
nothing comapares
thats just something for the people out there who think they cant make it because what other people [will say or do]. It doesnt matter in the end...
I feel kinda queesy
I dont know why, maybe its because i havnt had breakfast or something
bah. humbug lol.