[choke_on_dreams]'s diary

501502 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-20
Written: (7093 days ago)

Finally I am over my hangovereyness. thank the lord. I slept yesterday from: *wait for it...* two pm to 7:30pm::

WOW

i stayed up really late last night till like 5:30. it was so beautiful. it was snowing. it was late night. everyone (but me) was asleep. We were in the middle of a giant field. It was so quiet. so

peaceful

I just sat there and watched the snow fall. It was amazing. Unspoilt, just perfect. You dont get many of those moments anymore.

500700 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-20
Written: (7094 days ago)

I dont think people realise how much i love nick. :) but then again i dont want everybody to know, aslong as he does.

500497 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-02-19
Written: (7094 days ago)

Next in thread: 500567

I am sick

notta happy bunny

I drank way WAY too much in the first HOUR of the part. there wernt THAT many people there, just a couple. Even thought that isnt an excuse for me to go totally insane with the large supplies of alcohol. There were shitt pop songs being played, and it was like, ooh man. so yeah.

I swear to god im not drinking like that till....

the next party.
lol
but that wont be in a long time. i promise you that.

After school i went to Matts house. which was all good and smiley. He taught me how to play the GUITAR.! wooot. I FELT HAWT. lol. But yeah afterwards at arounnd 10:30 (at the pary) i was sooo screwed that i fell asleep. lol. on matts knee :P cozy. hahaha. It was really cute though (Althought [it didnt seem like it at the time]), chris put hist coat over me and it was like, eeeeee. I came home totaly FUCKED. but i dont think my mom noticed! omg lol. but yeah....so...

498783 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-02-17
Written: (7096 days ago)

::::FUNNY::::

me: lalalalalalala *pretending to sing - lol- cough-pretending-cough- i actually was i was just going lalalalalala*
brother: can you shut up.
me:im practising
brother: for what?!
me: my piano exams.
brother: oh yah, you relaly have to sing in your piano exam.
me:*smugly* actually. we do.
brother: *pause* hahahaha....your screwed.

XD

498757 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-02-17
Written: (7096 days ago)

::::about my day::::

ew i have this pervy maths teacher...Mr. Picket.

hes a wanker. He keeps winking at me and Smiling - ok so it doesnt sound that harmfull. But you should see him.

its GROSS.

I was walking past him with Ian and he's like - Hey mally, how you doin? *smiles continuasley* and when i turn away he winks at me *pukes*

and im like.

'[why are you talking to me?!?!]'? but i didnt say that>>>im just like 'um, great'. and went into my form room.

when i came out He asked if IAN was my boyfriend.

hes not

But what the fuck does he think hes doing.

so yah. I dislike him.

=)

I was SO FUCKED this morning. SO ILL. but im a Strong girly. On the way back on the bus, me and emma just sat on the ground (there are NO fucking seats left...and this is teh only bus we can actually take...GET YOUR PRIORITIES SORTED) singing disney songs.

i love not caring what other people think

just the look on their faces when they see you, and therse nothing they can do about what ever it is your doing. *beams*.

So yah. I got through math how i usually do. nodding inteligently every so often....

While secretly im just writing my name out again and again and again someplace in my book. :) <<< It makes me happy.

....and its worked so far.....

moms conversation

-[we're getting cleaning ladies in or something so shes like...]

mom: so mally, you need to clean your room, the cleaning ladies are coming...
me: So i need to clean my room?
mom: yah, the cleaning ladies are coming today
me: um, you want me to clean my room because the cleaning ladies are coming to clean my room today...
mom: JUST keep it clean for them!
me: but then, what are they going to do?
mom: CLEAN
:me: clean WHAT?!
mom: the house. we pay them to clean the HOUSE.
me: then why do i have to clean my room?
mom: because your ROOM is part of THE HOUSE.
me: MOM i know THAT.
:mom: just clean your room...
me: for WHAT?
mom: the cleaning ladies, dont make me repeate myself.
me: mom your telling me to clean my room so that the cleaning ladies can RE CLEAN MY ROOM?
mom: not reclean
me: what then just to stand in teh middle of my room thinking 'boy, this is one CLEEEAAAN room'.
mom: you have to make a good impresssion.
me: if your going to pay money for them to admire our house because its soo clean thats wasting money mom...
mom:they arnt going to ADMIRE anything..their going to CLEAN IT.
me: then WHY DO I have to clean MY ROOM. i will, but i dont understand why...
mom: just DO it *getting mad*
me: OOOOK!

*cleans room* *stares blankly*

what the fuck

498742 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2005-02-17
Written: (7096 days ago)

listening to jeff Buckley : halleluja.

amazing song

okay i got some Serious talking to do. well typing.

but omg , after the song. i cannot multitask.. apparantly girls can

i cant

uh oh.

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]

Maybe I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]

There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

[Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah]

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

[Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
]

*tear* beautiful.

Okay anyways about this thing

So theres this girl. And we have very odd sorta relationship. I think shes really confused about who she wants to hang out with ect and doesnt really stick with one crowd. which is okay i guess. She gets close to me, and then a few months later shes gone and then again and gone and again and gone . well the first time, it was kinda difficult because i am the sort of person who is quite possessive about friends and likes to keep em vclose lol ya know? But now ive kind of [accepted who she is...icant change it] i realise that, so i dont. But Recently we've been getting close...again. just talking and stuff. I dont know if i should keep a distance to Avoid me getting hurt again ([trust me, within a few months shell be

gone

])...or if i should just go for it and stop worrying all the time about what could happen?? hrrrmph.

Shes just there when i need her, you know? and its like, when i want to talk to someone about something...shes proving to be the someone.

blah. Life is too confusing. I decided im just going to ['go with it'].

uug Tommorow i was Supposed to meet my aunt ([we're really really close- i tell her

everything

]) on amazing msn msger...BUT im also kinda going to a party (james brabs).

So uh. i dont know.

It finishes at 11. [meeeh]. maybe ill call her. anyways im looking forward to tomorow.

actually wait. maybe not

i have my piano grade exams which i feel totally unprepared for. Then i have my Chemistry test which i am undoubtedly going to

Fail

.
Chemistry is one of those subjects my brain (or lack of) refuses to do. I cant argue with him ^_^.

BUT (see im trying to be optimistic here...)

Atleast i get to wake up at

9:00

and miss first two periods (german and physics- YESSSSS)

497863 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2005-02-16
Written: (7097 days ago)

becky is my bitch.

496863 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-15
Written: (7098 days ago)

*hugs souriya*

I think

souriya

needs some diary love.
Shes got a valentine....his names Steven. its [indigo boy]'s

diary

They are SO cute together.

*keeps hugging*

495623 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2005-02-14
Written: (7099 days ago)

[valentines day]

lalalalalalalala...batman! :P

Commericalised rubbish? you say? *shrugs* probably. But when you have a beautiful and amazing boyfriend to share it with...:)

things seem alot better

...

Hehehehe. and omfg [ELFTOWN IS PINK]. i almost died.

almost

for once i got [valentines cards *gasp*]. Im SO flattered.

its been one special day.

happy valentines day guys :P I love you all :)

oh man, doesnt my happyness
sicken
you?....

495621 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2005-02-14
Written: (7099 days ago)

my foot hurts

*shrugs*

494864 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7100 days ago)

and I still love you nick

494861 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7100 days ago)

OMFG. IZZY'S BACK

494547 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7100 days ago)

Isnt is so Amazing.

You just walk down a street and you see a couple together. just standing there. just see the way the girls holding onto him, like she never wants him to let her go and hes looking into her eyes like shes the most beautiful person ever.

And the thing is. SHE IS.

And they wont Ever let go.

You can tell so much from their eyes.

Sometimes you can say it the best when you dont say anything At all.

When you can say So much just by looking at the person you know that you love

I think think you realise that he's all you ever need.

And he is.

he saves you

he makes you beautiful

494059 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

so your the bitch that told the bitch that im a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch to call a bitch a bitch.

bitch

494058 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

Dear dorothy
hate Oz.
Took the bloody Shoes
find your

own

way home.

bitch

494057 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

LoL. i read some where that one out of every four people is mentally unstable.

Take a look at

three of your closest friends

if they seem normal

i guess your the one eh?

494054 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

omg.

I just asked my mom why cats drink from the toilet.

SHE said its because 'the waters colder'.

and im like

HOW DOES MY MOM KNOW THAT?'

 LIFE IS STRANGE. or its just my family

its like, the other day my my friend and i Were on the computer, and i think my clothes were on the bed.

My mom prances and says to me:

'mally get you clothes off'

I just Stared at her.

She just laughed and said she meant take it of the bed.

uh huh. sure mom. Lets go drink some [toilete water....]....its colder remember?

494048 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

 my good friend kermit the frog:

'times fun when you're having flies'

couldnt agree with you more buddy.

494046 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

Have you realised. that

whereever you go, there you are

This diary is going to be used for my philosophical rambellings

enjoy

494041 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7101 days ago)

has anyone else noticed that i write my diary entrys weirdly? With all the diffent

fonts

and

sizes

and stuff?

its because im such a creative person. lol. jkjk

But really, i find creativity and passion (for something very very Attractive)

Like. for example. If the person i love is very passionate about something, music or art, or whatever ...i find that very attractive. I dont know why i just Do.

I love people i can talk to. If there isnt an instant attraction between the minds then i dont think anything will move Very far. its just what i think.

It couldnt Ever be love.

I LOVE LOVE

teeheehee

494010 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7101 days ago)

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk [.rejection.]
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid [suffering and sorrow], but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or

love.

Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his

freedom.

Only a person who takes risks is

free.

very very true

^^

dont give up on me....

The logged in version