[choke_on_dreams]'s diary
some dramatic shit i say
If this is so wrong why does it feel so right?
How can you ask me what's wrong when nothing's right
We need to talk.
Got aerobics tomorow. I love it but I am
so
not in the mood. I just need to die or sleep somewhere. Besides...our pe teacher is a MAN. i CANNOT work under these conditions. lol.weeeell
~HATTY CALLED ME~
we have THE BEST
totally comfertable silences...EVER
I cant really describe it.
Like...We talk... ovbiously. Then lapse into a state of Thought and Silence. BUT it is
so comfertable
we dont feel theneed to talkuntil ofcourse one of us actually needs to . but you know...
hmmm what else.
spanish was bearable today
I dont know why. I dont think i Ever will.
lunch with rosie today.
I call her
vag
([long story. you pronouce it VAJ KENIY (but its spelt vag knei) and it stands for Vagina knife. Really really long story. Maybe ill tell you some day])
Any way she kinda <i>hates it. I dont exactly blame her. How would
you
like to be calledVAGINA
in public.touche
Well. I called her that for the past 2/3? years? . so shes used to it lol.
mally: rosie?
*Silence*
mally: Rose??
*Silence*
mally: Rosalind?
*Silence*
mally: Kirkham??
*Silence*
mally: ROSALIND KIRKHAM?
*Silence*
mally: VAGINA?
*TURNS around real fast*
VAG: YEAH?
I rest my case
I ate pizza and these shexay twizzler thingies.
I think im gonna die of vinegar
OVERDOSE
I LOVE IT
mwhaha. and then YOU'LL say:
'
hey whatever happened to that little girl who ate all the vinegar
'I will evolve into some magical fairytale that you warn your children of.....
FUCK
Im
sleep deprived
Im turning:
dellusional hysterical insaneeee
and I love it baby
me --------------
Yes she has a good body
I hate her for it
SO HAWT
Matt = I love him but sometimes hes an asshole.
Well the thing about matt and I is that we are Really really close. He Acts seriously gay or camp lol. And you know, I feel really secure about things beacuse of that. I know that nothing will happen between us And thats definatly a GOOD Feeling. He's totally
"sex-obsessed-but-still-virgin"
guy.I dont know...I just love him
But anyways. He likes this 'girl' whose name I STILL DONT KNOW. But I Accept that. Sometimes people dont want to be like, you know [public about their feelings] - I understand that. but you know how they PURPOSLY and dilliberatly talk about it, almost as if they Want us to ask them about it? Yeah...he does that.
I say to him:
"ITS OKAY MATT, if you dont want to tell me - dont..And if you do, then DO IT ALREADY<"
Anyways. People (bastards) think its
ME
Its like COME ON PEOPLE. Just because we are close it doesn’t mean anything. infact it means just that:
WE ARE FRIENDS
Okay, im rambeling on….
that’s not even the issue here
oh well you needed some background info anyways. Lol.
So yeah. This girl. Today he just said to me:
well something along the lines of: We shouldn’t be this close for sometime……….
I was like ‘okay matt‘.
THEN he said :
“Its not you, its just that, im planning on asking this girl out this week and We Are pretty close, so I don’t want to put her off By making her think that I would go off with anybody. including you. Just for sometime
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
I just said okay. I guess it is okay. I just don’t understand why he cares what other people think so much.
FUCK YOU
izzy: Mally your boobs are talking to me. Please controll them
well what you are about to read was NOT made by me. its just dedicated for..uh...actu
Take my hand
Off we go
To the room
Shut the door
Hit the lights
Grab me close
Raise me up
Kiss me slow
Lips tongues touch
In a dance
I’m turned on
By your glance
Hands slide up
To my neck
In my hair
Pull me back
Trail your lips
Down the path
One plus one
Do the math
One kiss here
One lick there
Two hard nipples
Equals wet underwear
Lick me slow
Suck you deep
Make me cum
Till I’m asleep
Lose your pants
Take my shirt
Nipples so hard
That they hurt
Slide my panties
With your teeth
Not just wet
But soft heat
Take your dick
In my hands
Better get ready
I’ve got plans
Raise me up
Over your face
Put your tongue
In that place
Spread me open
Part my lips
While I kiss
On your hips
Take you in
I’m open wide
You taste me
I’m so high
Suck your tip
Flick my clit
This sixty nine
Is so exquisite
Take you deeper
Make me moan
Feel my lips
At your bone
Tongue me softly
Feel my flow
Now how fast
Can I go
Back and forth
Up and down
Swirl your tongue
Round and round
Feel you all
In my depth
Can’t seem to
Catch my breath
Stroke your shaft
Hit my spot
Make you harder
Make me hot
While you search
Seek to find
The pleasure in
This tongue grind
I’m taking you
All the way
Through the night
Into the day
I’m getting close
To the end
But I’m getting
My second wind
Suck you smooth
Jack you tight
All that cum
Is mine tonight
You’re getting tense
Back is arched
Throat is dry
Now I’m parched
I can’t wait
For another minute
Cum for me
Give me it
That’s it, baby
Give to me
Let it go
Set it free
Oh my God
What’ve you done?
Baby now I’m
About to cum
Ooh don’t stop
NO NOT EVER…
I can’t believe
We’ve cum together
* rosies says some really uber serious story. Mally isnt really paying attention. she pauses for a response*
mally: how very erotic
<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
*mally writes in her history book something*
hatty: what does that say? :S
mally: hospital
hatty: uh..no it doesnt.
mally: yes it does
hatty: mally you've written hospalily
mally: NO I HAVNT *checks* oh. Maybe i have
*laugh*
<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
*big conversation about lips*
rosie: *to hatty* you have really thin lips...
hatty: i know :(
izzy: its not bad
hatty: hmmm...*to mally* you have HUGE LIPS
mally: OH THANKS
izzy: thats good....like VELUCTIOUS MELONS
mally: my lips look like veluctious melons
hatty and rosie: hahaha
mally: yeah i know im pouty
hatty: yeah you are lol
mally: omg dont agree with me
rosie: *to izzy* you have really pale lips
mally: OH YEAH i know, their like minge lips *Stops* SHIT. i mean. not minge lips. I mean like, they minnnngle into your skin tone.
*izzy mortified*
mally: NOOO its not like that, its just like a huge opening in your face.
*izzy mortfied*
mally: aaah fuck this *walks away*
([I wasnt saying ANYTHING right today :S])
<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
*mally very confused in maths- the maths teacher notices and is about to walk up to her when she wails....in a broken sorta mortified scream...*
mally: DOONT COME NEAR ME
teacher: *not knowing what to say - just stops in his tracks* thats probably the most hurtfull things a pupil has said to me -- "dont come near me"
*Izzy writes something*
mally: what does that say *Reads* OOH haha. i thought it said scrotums...
*silence*
izzy and mally in unison: I dont like scrotums
mally: my hands are cold
matt: want me to put them down my trousers?
*silence*
matt: That a yes?
mally: No matt.
matt: what is it?
mally: its a no
matt: I tried
mally: *scary stare* you failed
matt: I know
mally: miserably
matt: goodbye
*Silence*
matt: your loss
mally: oh gawwd matt I KNOW!
matt: *blink*
<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
mally: *trying to get attention* Matt im hurting
Matt im in pain.
Matt i need to talk.
Matt im in love
Matt nothings right
Matt what do i do
Matt im going to cry
Matt i need you to help me
Matt im loosing everything
*gives up*
MATT IM NAKED
*silence*
matt: and your problem is....
*tearfull silence lol*
matt: maybe you should masterbate. *Silence*
<< >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >> << >>
[msn convo]Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
matt
Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
I love you
Matt says:
n i sexually love u 2
Matt says:
altho i wanna sexually kill u as well
Matt says:
I have to goooo. bye byee
Nick: I LOVE YOU SHUT UP says:
I love you
Matt says:
then y dont u fuck me then
*Goes offline*
mally: my hands are cold
matt: want me to put them down my trousers?
uh oh spanish coursework.
meh.
Today was a GOOD day. I realised if you have everything n the right mind set with a positive attitude. most things will work out for you. Or everything will seem better anyways.
So yeah. I Woke up, went in and put some amazing power ballard on and groooooved while i got changed. lol. Well That kickstarted my day. XD.
sometimes i feel confident.
Sometimes i wake up thinking I feel Beautiful.
I want every one to see it. I want everyone to feel it. I want everyone to see me
Sometimes I just feel like what i think matters. What I Feel matters. And i can talk fluently and Articulatley
I love those days
Other days i just want to curl up into a ball and vanish.
other days I just want to be i n v i s a b l e . I just want to blend in. And not be heard.
other days I just think 'I dont need to talk- why cant i just feel '.
other days I feel so ugly
I hate those days
If you're enjoying the time that you are
w a s t i n g
just means that the time isnt really
w a s t e d
Be….
[+]Be s t r o n g enough to at least try to make your life better…
[+]Be c o n f i d e n t enough that you won't settle for a c o m p r o m I s e just to get by.
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to??
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to l e a r n.
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons
[+]Be t h a n k f u l l when youre tired. because it means you've DONE SOMETHING.
[+] It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more better to look at ourselves and our past in the
light of experience, acceptance, and growth.Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of life in general. The relationships we started, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons about how to learn from them .Some of us have emerged from the most p a i n f u l situations but with
strong insights
aboutwho we are and what we want.
Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes our s t u m b l i n g attempts at growth and progress?
Necessary too.
Each step of the way, we learn something new. we grow. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become
who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed.
Nooooooooooo.
The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.Today,I
need to help myself, help me let go of negative thoughts I have about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.and all that I am
[+]Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, pain, l o v e,
l o s tmoments of true happyness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of yourself. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to
n o w h e r ein particular.
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT
. If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaksyou heart</3>, forgive them. because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you o p e n your heart to.If someone loves you...love them back unconditionally,
not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and
o p e n i n g
your heart and
eyes
to things you would have never seen or felt without them.
Make every day count.
Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to e x p e r i e n c e it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually
l i s t e n
Hold your head
up
because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual, that you arebeautifuland believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.You can make of your life anything you wish.
C r e a t e y o u r o w n l i f e.
then go out
a n d l i v e i t
Im still stunned about friday.
[+] Maybe like three-weeks-ag
I GOT A CERTIFICATE
*hyperventilatI
did.somethings gotta be wrong. Wow my inteligence astounds me. Only joking people. XD
[+] i got to beat the shit out of somebody :O OMG I KNOW. He was this little boy who talked like a rapper :P. I mean
how could i possibly resist. He was beingg and Asshole. meh. I feel better.
[+] In history we actually did 'women in medicine'. Finally something Worthwhile.
scene:[ my moms like lecturing me while we were shopping. shes telling me about this person we know]
mom: she spent so much money all the time...always shopping for clothes and stuff, now look whats happened...
mally: what? shes pregnent? (She actually is)what the hell does THAT mean?
mom: lol
scene:[ okay this was in registeration and i was really really tired due to lack of sleep lol. And im like mumbeling something...]
mally: uuugg..uuaah..
hatty: lol
mally: *thinks*whats the time?
hatty: ten to nine
mally: no that wasnt the question *okay <- it sounds weird but its beause like, i was thinking of a question and it didnt come out right so i asked what the time was and um...*
hatty: *doing her 'i-think-your-
mally: *softly* It wasnt in my head...
hatty: well it Was in your voice
scene:[Mally observing rosalinds earings. like DEWD they were this funny coloured and everything....]
mally: OMG is that a picture of Jesus christ in them? *moves head closer before realising*...O
in response to the previous entry. Im going to kill the bastard
But now that that is over with :) lets continue.
So im at my aunts house. and im so bored.
BLAH
I know this four year old girl.
shes as cute as a button
I was talking to her.
she
cried to me.
Why?
because....
They boy she liked broke her little heart.
She invited him over.
Instead of playing with her he played on the playstation with her brother.
he called her names
and then
ignored her
Isnt it sad. Her first experience with a boy.
</3and he broke her heart </3
have a nice day
GOD
Somebody just sent me a msg saying:
Heysexy
[how original].
You know
[ no i dont, but im sure your going to tell me anyway] you are HATT
[okay. Imma hat.]
im onli messn
[learn to spell you illiterate fool]
haha
[no. nobody is laughing]
im jkin
[is it really THAT difficult to write the word wholly. in its full spelling?]
its mah speshal way
[yes. very special]
of ritin hot but as in hatt
[no its not special. its just extreamly retarded. Hatt just sounds like a headwear, not anything remotley like the word 'hot'].
enyway
[its anyway]
i war doin dis tst on da computa wiv me bruvas
[for real nigga...lol 5O CENT YOU GOTTA LOVE UM. joking guys]
. and i got 89% Fuck monsta and 11% lova.
[100% asshole?].
what dya fink
[im just 'finking' about how to tell you how much of an asswipe you really are].
so ya your propa hatt and ide fuck u eny day
[trust me that wont be any time soon if i have anything to do with it].
How bout a lil cyba
[how about NO you crazy turkish bastard]
im prety gud at it.
[I'll bet you are]
*kiss your nec softly and slips fingars in your lil panties*
[*escapes your perverted hands, kicks you in the balls 5 times, and knocks you unconsciece with a slegehammer*]
ya want more?
[no]
jst mssg me bck pussy
[no]
you is one hatt pussy
[did he just call me a hatt pussy? yes. thought so. 'you is...' lmfao]
dun fink a guy like me wud be able to be anyfing serious wiv ya. i just wnt fun alrigt? how about rite now pussy >
[how about never?]
ide luv somat more to happen but i dun fink it will
[no your right. it wont]
Im into da devil and shit like dat, but ya seem gofick so its alight
[OOOH LOOK AT ME IM SO COOL. I SPELL GOTHIC LIKE GOFIC. LETS GO SLIT OUR WRISTS. OMG HE WORSHIPS THE DEVIL. HOW HATT]
nd ude b propa turnd on when i break dance
[yes because SATAN break dances- hatt]
red and blck ar my fave colourss
[whose asking?]
and u luk good in em
[how satanic]
rock on
[fuck off]
im propa horny now. you need to service me girl
[I need to stab you a couple of times]
write back as soon as pos pussy
[as soon as poss pussy>- POSS PUSSY]
or i mite jus cum now
[okay great. goodbye]
fuck me
[no]