Newp Most definatly not.

I am offically fucked

there are not even hours in teh day

For me to do this

**mom puts the most hideous coat on ever**
Mom: I don’t care what you say. I like it, imma wear it. I asked your aunt and she said it looked fine!
Me: Mom no, please don’t do this…
Mom: do WHAT!
Me: Mom you look half male and maybe a tiny portion female, and the rest I don’t even know…mom please no
Mom: Mall, that’s not very nice! **laughs**
Me: yeah im sorry but neither is that thing your wearing
Mom: OH come ON
Me: Mom I will not be seen with you in that. **both laugh**
Mom: Ugh why do you make me do this **Takes of coat and puts it in the closet**
Me: THANK YOU
Mom: Why do you do that!
Me: Do what
Mom: that!
Me: Im protecting you

[omg the funniest shit EVER]



Nick: MY WIFE, MY LOVING WIFE. PLZ MARRY ME IN 10 MINUTES
Me: how about five?
*Silence*
Nick: k like, do you seriously wanna get married like when i see you this year?

Me: Um we could wait lol
Nick: nah im kiddin i would never marry you
Me: Oh gee. lets never get married
Nick: k
Me: OMG NICK YOUR BOYFRIEND POINTS = GONE TOTALLY
Nick: Fuck. okay lwell i still have husband points. lets get married so i can move onto losing those too.

Yes this is the man i will be spending the rest of my life with....how ironic

ni[Mally and Izzy's Robin Hoods Bay shit]

Scene:[In the car]

Izzy: LOOK!! SNOW!! *bang* Ow...

~*~

Mally: I don't like softmints
Izzy: Why?
Mally: They're too... Minty.

~*~

*Izzy's mom and Izzy's mom's friend talking about a mutual friend*
Izzys mom: So how is she these days?
Izzys moms friend: Dead

Scene:[Mally and Iz lying in bed... Don't ask]

Mally: Hahaha! Isobel, you kissed me.
Izzy: Yurs.
*pause*
    You raped my hand
*pause*
Mally: Yurs.

~*~

*silence*
*kick*
Izzy: What?!
Mally: You're not talking!!
Izzy: Yes. I know.
*silence*
*kick*
Mally: Why aren't you talking?!?!!?

~*~

Izzy: You were saying something earlier, or something, and then I did something... Or something.
*silence*
Mally: What?

~*~

Mally: What does that say?
*Reads*
OOH haha. I thought it said scrotums...

*silence*

Izzy and Mally in unison: I dont like scrotums

~*~

Mally: i see dead breasts. they're all around me.

~*~

*Izzy lies on mally's legs*
mally: Aah, your obesity against my legs is almost....orgasmic
Izzy: *mortified*

~*~

Izzy: Death doesnt have a cock... It rotted away.

~*~

*Mally walks out of toilet*
Mally: I think i just lost my virginity to a tampon. It feels like i have 5 fingers up my ass.
Izzy: ...Up your ass?
Mally: ...You know what i mean

~*~

*mally and izzy talking about having sex in a rainforest*
Mally: We have to do that sometime *dreamy*
*silence*
Izzy: ...But not together.

~*~

Mally: Please?
Izzy: No.
Mally: Please
Izzy: No
Mally: Please
Izzy: No
Mally: Please
Izzy: NO!!!
Mally: Fine.
*silence*
*mally starts humming the song for about 5 minutes over and over again*
Izzy: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE *falls of bed*

~*~

*Izzy is talking about Stuart*
Izzy: Hes just so... Aaah... And he has such nice... Mmmmm and his... Aaahh....*makes strange noises*
*silence*
Mally: You know, moaning really isnt going to help me understand the situation.

~*~

*Izzy is reaching under the bed for some chocolate
Izzy: Chocolate!
*struggles*
ARGH!
*Falls head first off the bed*
Ahem
*silence*
FUCK!
THERE'S NO NO CHOCOLATE LEFT.
*pause*
Mally: I know, i just wanted to watch you fall :)

~*~

Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: Stuart.
Izzy: Bastard.
Mally: You miss him, don't you?
Izzy: Yep. Bastard.

~*~

Izzy: Like, actually totally SO much.
Mally: Wow. That's all your favourite words. In the same sentence. That's SO wrong.

~*~

*Mally and Izzy talking about kissing*
Izzy: It'll come naturally when the come comes.
*pause*
Mally: ...When the come comes?
Izzy: Time. When the TIME comes.

~*~

*Izzy turns light off*
Izzy: Where's my monkey?
Mally: *hugs Izzy tighter*
*pause*
Izzy: No, Mally. You're not my monkey.
*pause*
Mally: I'm a monkey?

~*~

Mally: I'm thinking... But nothing's happening.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, you're so beautiful.
Mally: You deserve to be hit by a pillow
*pause*
*bang*

~*~

Mally: Can you imagine giving anal sex to George Bush?
Izzy: Quite frankly, Mally, I'd really rather not.
*pause*
Mally: In the white house.
*pause*
     Ew
*pause*
     It's no wonder they call it the white house.

~*~

Izzy: Fkooooooooorf!!!!!!
*pause*
Mally: ...What?

~*~

Izzy: *mumbles*
Mally: Did you just say bastard or fuck off?
Izzy:... I think I said 'spaz, actually....

~*~

Mally: You know what part of me hasn't been loved for a while? My ears.
Izzy: No.

~*~

Mally: Isobel, we need to have passionate sex.

~*~

*silence*
Mally: Your pupils are huge.
*pause*
     And you have green hair.
*pause*
     And you have big boobs.
*pause*
Izzy: Fkorf.

~*~

Izzy: *breaks bed*

~*~

Izzy: I have cold legs.
Mally: What?
Izzy: I have cold legs.
*pause*
Mally: I have a cold penis.

~*~

Mally: So james actually slapped you?
Izzy: Yurs.
Mally: Really hard?
Izzy: Yurs.
Mally: Why?
Izzy: 'Cos I jumped on him.
Mally: So what did you do then?
Izzy:... Jumped on him.

~*~

Mally: I feel as bloated as a helium balloon. Touch me.
Izzy: *blink blink*

~*~

Izzy: *writing stuff down*
Mally: You look perplexed
Izzy: *Blank stare*
Mally: Actually, no. Because that would involve using your brain.
Izzy: *blink*

~*~

Mally: Why did you just totally miss out a blank page?
Izzy: I actually have no idea.
*silence*
    Maybe I felt like it.

~*~

Mally: The best way to throw people off is to start the conversation again.
Izzy: Hey! I do that with myself!
Mally: *Stares*
*pause*
Izzy: Ok ignore that.

~*~

Izzy: *orgasms over perfume in a shopping centre*

~*~

*Mally is singing wonderwall*
   "And I don't believe that anybody's breasts are as big as mine..."
   "There are many things that I would like to do to you...."
   "Because maybeeeeeeee.... You're gonna be the one that fucks meeeeeeeeee... And after aaaaaaall... You're my wonderbaaaaaalls...."

~*~

Mally: Isobel, you're my thunderthighs.
Izzy: *looks up, mortified*
Mally: Oops.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, why are you so pushy?
Mally: I'm a pusher.
Izzy: Why?!
Mally: I'm a pusher, I push, it's what I do.

~*~

Izzy: *falls over* ...Ow. My insides. I think they're coming outside.
Mally: *observes carefully*
*pause*

     You know, you spend most of your life on the floor.

~*~

Izzy: That requires more concentration than... *loses interest*
Mally: ... Than you're capable of?

~*~

Izzy: Can I draw a chlamydia tattoo on your arm?
*silence*
Mally: What possessed you to think of that?! I think you need an exorcist.

~*~

Izzy: Malavika, my stomach is trying to communicate with you.

~*~

Izzy: Mally, your breasts are talking to me. Please, control them

~*~

*mally and Izzy are hugging*
*crack*
*pause*
Izzy: Mally, what the fuck was that?!
*pause*
    Was it your face?
Mally: No.
*pause*
     It was my neck.

~*~

Izzy: *bites mally's forehead*
*pause*
Mally: You just ate my forehead.

~*~

Izzy: I'm gonna go check out that light... If I get kidnapped by aliens, please tell me.

~*~

Mally: I love you more than chlamydia.
Izzy: *drops book*

~*~

Izzy: Where are you sleeping mally?
Mally: Oh, I'll probably move on to you in a minute.

~*~

Mally: I like your forehead.
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: It's radiating heat.
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: It is!
*silence*
     I think you must be sick.

~*~

Izzy: *spazzes out*
Mally: STOP or i'll pee on you!

~*~

Mally: Move your hand, I can't see.
Izzy: Can't see what?
Mally: ...The music.

~*~

Mally: I want to touch myself.

~*~

Mally: *shoves hand in Izzy's face*
     Do me.
*silence*
Izzy: *stares*
Mally: No, do my hand. No. Don't do my hand
Izzy: *stares*

Im totally diaried out man.

dewd.

exams in...well on monday.

it is now saturday

revision done: none

well okay i tried a little bit.

Failed.

So me trying real real hard now.

Must.

Luck?

Thanks

Maybe one day Ill grow some wings.
And then I'll fly away
Into your arms....

When im older I want to be Michael Jackson.

Me: Yeah i was up really late last night...:)
Vag: Doing what?
Me: Just doing stuff
Vag: Doing Nick?

*lmao*

Vag: omg my shoes are STILL wet from tomorow.

wtf

Memories

*Mally and nick have argument*

Nick: ARE YOU JUST MAD THAT I HAVE MY CLOTHES ON?
Me: YES.

Brother: Yeah we met this guy on the street who's from your school. he says he knows you...

Me: Me? he knows me?

Brother: Well yeah thats what he said.

Me: Is he in my year?

Brother: No he's in year 8

Me: And he knows me?! haha im so goddamn popular.

Brother: *stare* anyway. yeah he says he knows you

Me: Whats his name

Brothrer: I dunu :S

Me: You didnt ask him?

Brother: no i told you we just met him on the street.

Me: okay well what did he look like?

Brother: well, he had this ...face

Me: *stare* He had a face? Helpfull. Thanks brother.

Ian: *totally seriously* Yeah i always found girl knickers to be quite uncomfertable.

*stare*

Good song



Gangsters Paradise – Coolio


As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realise there's not much left
Cause I've been brassing and laughing so long that
Even my mamma thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain’t never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you talking, and where you walking
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
I really hate to trip but I gotta lope
As they croak I see myself in the pistol smoke ... fool
I'm the kinda G that little homies want to be like
On my knees in the night, saying prayers in the street light


They been spending most their lives living in the gangsta's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the gangsta's paradise



Look at the situation, they got me facing
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the strip
So I gotta be down with the hood team
Too much television watching got me chasing dreams

I'm a educated fool with money on my mind
Got my 10 in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a loped out gangsta set trippin banger
And my homies is down so don’t arouse my anger ... fool
Death ain’t nothing but a heartbeat away
I'm living life do or die, what can I say
I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24
The way things is going I don't know



Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are you and me.



They been spending most their lives living in the gangsta's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the gangsta's paradise

Power and the money, money and the power
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Everybody's running, but half of them ain’t looking
What's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cooking
They say I've got to learn but nobody's here to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me

I guess they can't
I guess they won't
I guess they front
That's why I know my life is out of luck ... fool



They been spending most their lives living in the gangsta's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the gangsta's paradise


Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are you and me.
Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are you and me.

James:
Come back to have another go at me?


Me:
actually yeah i do have some things to say. Firstly I dont appreciate you telling anybody to die. Especially my fucking friends. Its pretty fucking low.


James:
oh well

James:
anything elsE?

Me:
No not really , ill let you reflect on that.


James:
reflect on what


Me:
haha. goodbye asshole.

Kay this is a special entry in tribute of...

[IAAAAN!]

Love

 Love is not about lovingthe perfect person.
Its about loving the imprerfect person perfectly.
Its not about what he/she has to offer to you.
Everything they can give you.
Its about what you will accept.
And what you will give in return.
Love is about understanding.

Love their body
Love their mind
Love their dreams
Love their thoughts
Love their smile
Love their tears

Just love them for who they are and nobody else beacuse thats all they can be.
 Respect them.


Love is about...

omg funny day...

After school I met this boy. Well guy. whatever. it was male. And he was like 16 years old I think

His name Is Eric

Cutest thing... By my little brother. For homework he was asked to write a few diary enteries describing his saddest day evar.

Before you read. 
Do Take note that all of this happened in a series of 3 consequtive days.

Imma Fairy

Oh Yesss I am

Just for you David.


David: Malllllly….Do you have your R.E book?
Mally: No I don’t…. I forgot it
David: hm okay. Mallllly do you have your Spanish Books?
Mally: No I don’t
*Silence*

david: Malllly? Do you have your bag?
Mally: Probably not