0kay Y3w kn0w whaT?

Im really sick of feeling ugly or bad about myself at all.

It isnt worth the trouble

I want to feel good about myself again.

Im having a huge revelation here people.

deal with it.


I love waking up in the morning and feeling so

pretty

 my heart is aching for him

Im sick of it

better than gewd

 s a n i t y

Pulsing....

 so powerfull

beauty I saw

 Their beauty was so full of strength. so full of power

changes everything

Just went to peeyano yo

My concert is pretty close.

Im kinda worried about that.


In re:: [This um, "mentally retarded" (i dont knnow how else to put it) kid runs out of the class room (hes so cute) Screaming "WHY CANT I GET OUT OF MY OWN CLASS ROOM, WHY CANT I GET OUT OF MY OWN CLASS REWM". apparantly hes like 12 but he lewks like 3. aww. anyway MARK (teh new kid) is like stroking his head and saying:]

Mark: AWW *STroke* hes so cute!
Me: Mark can you stop being so NASTY to the kid
kid: *Screaming frantically*
Mark: I really want to adopt him...*turns to me* umm *SILENCE. EVERYBODY IN THE CLASS LEWKS AT ME* Mally do you want to get married and then adopt him?

*i feel everyone stare at me*

me: um. no mark. *scurries away*



[+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_++_+_+_+_++_+_+_+_+_+_+_+]

[On teh bus home from school.]

david: *to me - sitting on the floor* MALLY WHY WERE YOU SMOKING? (he was talking about this weekend)


*the whole bus goes quiet*

*everybody lewks at ME thinking that im smoking right there*

me: *Dies*

mmmm drinking lemon juice.

It says it contains

artificial flavouring

 real lemons

It maybe...that my soul purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others

Mally: My brother is nnuynnunging ne
Izzy: Is your brother nnuynunging you mally?
...
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!


[Ill have you know. i am a brilliant typist.]

Interests: your mother.

How erotic

Standing for what you believe in,
Regardless of the odds against you,
and pressure that tears at your resistance,
...means courage

Stopping at nothing,
And doing what's in your heart,
You know is right,
...means determination


Keeping a smile on your face,
When inside you feel like dying,
For the sake of supporting others,
...means strength

Helping a friend in need,
No matter the time or effort,
To the best of your ability,
...means loyalty


Doing more than is expected,
To make another's life more bearable,
Without uttering a single complaint,
...means compassion

Giving more than you have,
And expecting nothing
But nothing in return,
..means everything

ugh

Ive come to realise that

some people are alive only because it's illegal to fucking kill them

Me...apparantly

[This is strangly sounding extreamly like me..mmmm....]

*bertie and mally sccurrypast some shop windows*

*mally stops and looks in the mirror*

bertie: LMFAO MALLY

hey we were high. and im just vain

*bertie and mally sccurrypast some shop windows*

*mally stops and looks in the mirror*

bertie: LMFAO MALLY

Smoked a cigarette: yes miss
Smoked a cigar: Once. ugh and never again.
Snorted coke: um no
SmokedWeed: fuck yes!
Been high: oh yessss
Said "I hope you die" to someone: haha yeah
Tried to kill someone: ...mmmm....maybe....no lol
Tried to kill yourself: naw
Lied to your parents: *blink* would I? hehe I try not to lie to anybody ...
Given someone a bruise: haha yewp
Ditched someone: naw
Freak danced: sure
Cut yourself: Noy intentionally!
Skipped school: Noooo, I was "ill":P
Hung up on someone: all the fucking time
Threw up at school: nope
Done someone else's make-up: yep, many a times!
Kissed someone of the same sex: haha yessss
Had a burping contest: ofcourse
Snuck out: mmmm ive gone places im not supposed to be going at a particular time...but my parents just thought i was someplace else. im not sure if that counts. I havnt ever snuck OUT TEH HOUSE.
Been to a school dance: yes
Thought your teacher was hot: ugh NO. all our "teachers" are like 2384 years old man


DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
*Do you live in the moment?: depends on the moment XD mushahaha. no i dew:)
*Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yeah ide say so. unless they were evil.
*Do you have any secrets?: Im sure i dew
*Do you hate yourself?: naw
*Do you like your handwriting?: when im trying to be neat yeah i dew
*Do you have any bad habits?: mmmm yeah. I like "mmmm" tomyself alot. my friends say that they find it uncomfertable when i make noises like that in public. lmfao
*What is the compliment you get most from people?: ummm i iunno


*If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called?: teh story of my life?
*What's your biggest fear?: Being alone. f.i.s.h. (both at the same time . o. m. g. CONVULSION!)
*Can you sing: lol. fuck no
*Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:Probably when i was younger
*Are you a loner?: naw but i like being alone sometimes :)
*If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: oh yeah!
Are you a daredevil?: yup. ill dew most things once and if i like it TWICE! mushahahaha
*Are you passive or aggressive?: Bit of both. naw. aggressive lol.
*Have you got a question?: many
*What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Apparently according to some person my strength is my open mindedness and my personality and my weakness is that I'm too hard on myself. :S whatever that means
*If you could change one thing about yourself? mmm im okay with myself. Maybe my nose and my mmm legs or my stomach and HEY STOP IT. IM FEELING SECURE RIGHT NOW. I DONT NEED THIS.......
*There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Love...:D with love beauty and creativity come alone. isnt that right nicholas XD
*How do you vent?: A number of ways
*Do you think you are emotionally strong?:Ide say so, unless somebody i love is hurting badly.
*Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: one or two but i dont live in regrets. ive moved on.
*Do you think life has been good so far?: amazing
*What is a good feature of your body?: mmm ask somebody else
*And least? ummm quite a number of things.
*Do you think you are good looking?: I dont really find myself attractive but sometimes i feel pretty :D
*Are you confident?: when i want to be
*Do people know how you feel?: for the most part
*Are you perceived wrongly?: Im sure I am but its about how i perceive myself not what other people think. :D



DO YOU...
*Smoke?: on special occasions lol....(Weed :D - cigerettes = no no)
*Do drugs?: mmm sometimes
*Read the newspaper?: hehe i try
*Talk to strangers who IM you?: yeah i dew....
*Sleep with stuffed animals?: haha my giant tigger
*Take walks in the rain?: ofcourse I dew
*Talk to people even though you hate them?: yeah i dew. but if they piss me off im like "die" goodbye.
*Drive?:not yet
*Like to drive fast?:sureeeeeee!



CLOTHES and other fashion
*What are you normally wearing to school/work?: fucking uniform
*Wear hats?: OFCOURSE
*Judge other people by their clothing?: newp....
*Wear make-up? : just eyeliner sometimes...im not a makeup person at all. au-natural all the way baby
*Favorite article of clothing?: panties
*Are you trendy?: Cha, you should lewk at my underwear :O
*Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: is there a choice?

You gotta be strong. I may not be with you. But you have to hold on

[come stop your crying it will be alright
Just take my hand
hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here dont you cry
for one so small
you seem so strong
my arms will hold you keep you safe and warm
this bond between us
cant be broken
I will be here dont you cry]

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[Why cant they understand
The way we feel
They just dont trust
What they cant explain
I know were differnt
But deep inside uus
We re not that differnt at all]

[Pocahontas.......]

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
Now can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

 look at the stars
look how they shine for you
everything you do
yeah they were all yellow

i came along
i wrote a song for you
and all the things you do
and it was called yellow

so then i took my turn
oh all the things ive done
and it was all yellow

your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn in to something beautiful
do you know 
you know i love you so
you know i love you so

I swam across
i jumped across for you
oh all the things you do
cos you were all yellow

i drew a line
i drew a line for you
oh all the things you do
and it was all yellow

your skin
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn in to something beautiful
do you know
for you i bleed myself dry
for you i bleed myself dry

well there isnt much to do now....

probably leaving for back home in some time....

it will be about shit one moment

*five hours later* ish...

im back....

hmmm mom and dada just went to a shop

brother watching tv downstairs

bored

im listening to bare nessesities ( balu the bear : <i>teh jungle book</i> <i>bitches).....</i>

Im really appreicating disney at teh moment

Im really missing nicholas at teh moment...

ouch

owwww.

Nicholas I miss yew