[choke_on_dreams]'s diary

574132  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

The things that dont kill you make you stronger
574130  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

"*"*"*"*"ON MSN"*"*"*"*"*

matt: hihi
me: DONT TALK TO ME I HAVE AIDS
matt: dont care. prolly have it too
me: fair enough

574095  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

My mom just hugged me and said

"God I love you so much"

It .b.r.o.k.e. my heart.

574089  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

[smoke it like you mean it.....]

574069  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

x .Nicholas, I dreamed you into my life. x
574061  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..

I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...


And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded
By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power.
In lonely hours.
The tears devour you.

.
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...


Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you.
All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do...

x.savage garden.x : fuck bags. but a cute song
574048  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-13
Written: (7010 days ago)

Emotions can be overwhelming.

We all know that.

We all know how our minds can be litterally obbsessed with a patricular emotion.

for example : love :D

It doesnt get much easier but i guess it helps to know that its all really in your head.

no. im not doubting your feelings here.

not even a little bit.

but you need to understand the power of the mind.

the conents we humans use of this storage is so minimal. its astounding actually.

Yet....

our mind is the most powerfull organ in our body.

we find outselves dwelling on possibilities and fantasies

rather than physical facts.



but it is in these possibilities that we build and construct our dreams.

We conform around this, the world to fit in these dreams like a lost peice of the puzzle.


This is not bad. because learning this and accepting, we are able to make changes in our lives to go with what confroms

OR


to go against what has been driven in our brain even before conception.

Patterns are able to be changed. New roads can be built.

Now you ask what does this have to do with your problem?

Simple.

Accept you are in control.

And you dont really have to change a thing.


this probably didnt make much sense to anybody.

It did to me however.

I just answered my own problem

and It feels good :D

573384  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

I was dying for the tinkle room today on the way back from school.

It was murder.

When I got home, my mom was fumbling for the keys downstairs, and then upstairs and then downstairs again.

I felt my life flash before my very eyes.

[Trevor 6879]

oh. my. gawsh.

^^Ide do her ^^

Im not saying shes ugly at all. Im just saying, could you possibly be more up your own ass?

I think not.

Anyway.

I AM SICK

HELLO

HELP ME PLEASE.

.ugghhh motherfucker.

tom is being an asshole.

hatty is doing drugs squad (yes I know im cool, yes I know im a hypocrit. fuck the hell off assholes) with me on tuesday.

My Dear partner, burnsy isnt here because of study leave :D

that fucking year 8 cunt Aaron is in my Class
well the class im teaching <.

I cant be bothered explainging what this drugs squad thing is.

too sick

IM SICK.

573343  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

I think im sick.

573338  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

ok I just gargled but i dont feel much better.

I think im going to cry.

573334  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

my throat hurts bad

573306  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

Me: *runs up over to matt and joe and jumps on matt* HEY
Joe: oh look its the dirty whore
me: HEY *punch* what did you say?
Matt: he said that "oh look its the pretty whore"
joe: lol matt, you know the opposite of dirtry isnt pretty. its clean.
me and matt and joe: lmfao

573271  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)

*Me and Ashlee walking up towards chemistry. Matt is looking sorta constipated*

Ash (OMG LIKE POKEMON. oh yes, I know you watched it): whats wrong with matt *to matt* MATT WHATS WRONG?
Me: mmm
Ash: I think his penis is hurting again

573270  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-05-12
Written: (7011 days ago)
Next in thread:

thers a lady whos sure
that all that glitters is gold
and shes buying the stiarway to heaven
when hse gest there she knows
if the stores are all closed
with a word she can get what she came for

oOoOoOo

And shes buying the stairway to heaven
theres a sign on the wall
but she wants to be sure
cos you know sometimes words have two meanings
in the tree (thanks izzy)by the brook
theres a song bird who sings
sometimes all of our thoughts are misleading

oOoOoOo

572509  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (7012 days ago)

I gotta do media homework.

I love you all.

Ive been having some gewd conversations with some people on elftown :D.

im impressed guys.

I just had a Shower and washed my hair.

I feel inspired to do the spits again. i used to able to to but then I stopped dancing and gah.

So im Restarting.

Refreashing my flexibility.

I miss it

Just practise a little everyday :D


[Cos little by little
We gave you everything
You ever dreamed of
Little by little
The wheels of your life
Have slowly fallen off
Little by little
You have to give it all in all your life
And all the time I just ask myself why
You're really here
]


which reminds me. its so fun to like burst into song when ever someone says a word or a phrase from a song.

like...

Examples:

person: it was just quite a tense atmosphere
me: Now that shes back in the atmosphere with drops of jupiter in her hair hey hey!!! she acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me that theres time to change, hey hey. since her return from her stay on the moon. she listens like spring and she talks like june, hey hey....etc

Person: she was a really good friend
me: A friend in needs a friend in deed a friend with weed is better...a friend with breasts and all the rest a friend whos dressed in leather

person: if you wanna.....
me: IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE, TAKING IS TOO EASY BUT THATS THE WAY IT IS. So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
we got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
and as for me..ah you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and ZIGAZIG AAAAH!

person: I see you...
me: i see you baby, shaking that ass, shaking that ass, shaking that ass


person: omg bitch
me: IM A BITCH IM A LOVER IM A CHILD IM A MOTHER IM A SINNER IM A SAINT, I DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED. my name is alanis morrisette.

person: uugh i hate the world
me: I HATE THE WORLD TO DAY *bom bom* your so good to me i know but i cant change *bom bom* tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe im an ANGEL underneath...innocent and sweet....

person: i think the bus is here
me: CALIFORNIA! CALIFORNIA! HERE WE COOOOMMMMEE! WEve been on the run driving in the sun....

*dont ask- i dont know abotu that one lol*

person: ugh its raining
me: raindrops keep falling on my head just like the guy whos feet are too big for his BED, nothing seems to fit. oooh im never gonna stop the rain by complarining. because im freeeeeee. nothings bothering meeee



infact: you can have the whole song....

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me


It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me


person: the roses are pretty
me: YEAAAAAAHHHH i know you like to thank your shit dont stank but lean a litlte bit closer and see that roses really smell like poo ooo!


572463  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (7012 days ago)

Im queen of the fucking universe
572445  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (7012 days ago)

Im feeling a huge amount of

[l-o-v-e]
towards my boyfriend, Nicholas.

and hes not online.

fucker :P

aaaaah. Hes so perfect for me :D


Five months :O.


more later.

and trust me there will be more.


I love you.
572432  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (7012 days ago)

perverted motherfuckers

yewp. thats the one. 
not finsished yet. 
too time consuming. 
just so you know the amount of fucking abuse people have to put up with on here.
Im sure im not alone.
572417  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (7012 days ago)

I could stay awake
just to hear you breathing
watch you smile while you are sleeping
while your far away and dreaming
I could spend my life
In this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment
Forever

Every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
cos i de miss you baby
and i dont wanna miss athing

cos even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
ide still miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
feeling your heart beating
And im wondering what your dreaming
wondering if its me your seeing
and then i kiss your eyes
and thank god we;re together
I just want to stay with you
In this moment for ever
for ever and ever

I dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
cos ide miss you baby
and I dont wanna miss athing

cos even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
ide still miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
right here iwth you
just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
and just stay here in this moment
for the rest of time
yeah
YEAH!

I dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
cos i de miss you baby
and i dont wanna miss athing

cos even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
ide still miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing

I dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
cos ide miss you baby
and i dont want to miss a thing
cos even when i dry my eyes
the sweetest dream will never do
cos ide still miss you baby
and i dont want to miss a thing
dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing



 <3 This Song I heart <3 
571971  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-10
Written: (7013 days ago)
Next in thread:

well im inescapably bored.

So imma write to yew Souriya

Wow I havnt called you That in a long time.

Well let me tell you in full d e t a i l about my day.

because we all know you want to know.

I woke up at like 7:35 which is odd because ive been waking up at like 7:40 - 7:45 for the past two weeks or so.

Remembering the fact that I have to be out of the house by 7:55....a few minutes lost or gained could be crucial.

I had to eat that hideous herbal shit my mom gives me in the morning.

I swear, its repulsive....


well it Was. Thats the thing. Im getting used to it and its driving me insane.

Im almost starting to like it


So i rushed to the bus stop. actually, i cruised over. because im cool and like. mmm.

hahha on the bus Im like

Me: okay emma, Kate, im going to talk to you today :D im not going to listen to any music, just talking :D
Emma: You forgot your headphones didnt you
Me: yewp.

hehehe....but we didnt actually talk much.

Fucker

Emma wrote me an Appreciation letter about the whole "steven" thing.

I dont think she realised how much it actually ment to me.

I wasnt asking for her appreciation.

I was just being a friend.

xdxdxdxdxdxdxdxdxdxd

Ashleigh bought me a twirl today. I lent her mah lunch pass so i could get some quality time with the German teacher.

She likes me.

I told you that all german people like me.


mmmmmmmmmmmmm I hurt my tongue.


We're watching the crucible in english and studying the play.

omg i love it


Its h e a r t b r e a k i n g.

Abigaile: I never knew what pretense Salem was, I never knew the lying lessons I was taught by all these Christian women and their covenanted men! And now you bid me tear the light out of my eyes? I will not, I cannot! You loved me, John Proctor, and whatever sin it is, you love me yet!

Abigale: You loved me then and you love me now

Elizabeth: I do not judge you. The magistrate that sits in your heart judges you

John: Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

A man may think God sleeps, but God sees everything, I know it now. I beg you, sir, I beg you—see her what she is . . . She thinks to dance with me on my wife’s grave! And well she might, for I thought of her softly. God help me, I lusted, and there is a promise in such sweat. But it is a whore’s vengeance . .

571936  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-10
Written: (7013 days ago)

[O.M.F.F.F.F.F.G]


dear santa,

please buy me the entire contents of this store

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/?cm_mmc=aa-_-sp05p4-_-swm-_-12400

lots of love and kisses....

mally
 The logged in version 

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