[choke_on_dreams]'s diary
Paradox: Procrastinator
Most popular historical records agree: Jesus was a real man, who actually walked the earth 2 million years ago.
Whether or not He Is/Was the Son of God remains up for debate in the secular community.
It is however irrelevant to me.
I mean, look at it this way:
A dude (with no shoes on) cared so much about humanity, that he taught millions of people a new and more respectfull way to live.
He died instead of betraying his faith.
Whether or not his death did “rid us of our sins” (we all sin now days anyway), we don’t know.
Maybe that was fabricated with time.
I am not a Christian.
I don’t really follow any particular religion..reli
But I do believe that there is some kind of power out there.
I don’t know Why, or How or What.
I just believe.
Its also comforting to believe that, maybe that’s the reason all this religion hype was created in the first place
But I think gradually its all about power.
Which sucks.
No matter what religion you follow, that sort of character deserves respect.
Whether he was the Son of God or Not.
Me + computer + internet + elftown diary = 0 productivity.
Oh well.
Whose complaining. Your just as sad to be reading this now.
Omg I have not watched neighbours OR home and away in god knows how long.
I cant get back into it.
H e a r t b r e a k i n g.
But like, I was just a sad little girl living vicariously through actors and actresses. I still am, but hey.
I also doubt that nobody has the whole truth. If there is such a thing. We are all liars to some degree. It’s a matter of whether our inaccurate opinions are truthfully expressed and make some sort of logical sense.
Oh Ive seen the truth and it makes no sense whatsoever
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything good.
We Need To Start Treating The Patient As Well As The Desiese
How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?
One Finger?
Two perhaps?
Three ?
Eight?
ten?
You were wrong
See The things that no body else sees. What they choose not to see. What they choose not to feel. Out of fear perhaps? comformity, or perhaps even laziness.
We were blessed with two eyes. Yet we are still so blind.
Step out of the d a r k ne s s.
.O p e n . y o u r . E y e s.
And then tell me what you really see...
-My words of wisdom-
Me: Does my ass look big in this
Vag: Mally, your ass always looks big
Me: heeeey!
Vag: haha im joking, you look very "petite"
Me: *marches into a HUGE BOOK STORE with a very determined air about me* I need to buy "slaughter house five"
Vag: uh. why?
Me: Well Nick read it and he said it was good, So I want to read it *Whines*
Vag: um okay sure.
Me: hehe *marches a few steps forward to find corridors leading away in every direction* right..um *pause*
*silence*
Vag: Mally..
Me: okay. lets go *marches out*
Vag: Mally didnt realise the hugeness of the shop. lol
She doesnt trust me.
What can I do if she doesnt trust me.
She says she doesnt "Know who I am Anymore".
And that she "Doesnt trust me".
What Kind Of Girl Am I?
How Can I Do This To Everybody?
It will take some time to get her trust back…
I know that:
.I.m . .n.o.t. . .T.h.e. . .G.i.r.l. . .M.o.t.h.e.r. . .W.a.n.t.e.d. . .M.e. . .T.o. . .B.e.
But believe me mother, Ive tried.
For you.
For Me.
I never wanted to let you down.
If anything I wanted to make you proud of me.
And I will
I pr0mise Yew
She says she “Doesn’t know me”
She doesn’t
I don’t even know me.
But she cant know me.
It would kill her
I dont really fit in. I dont really stand out.
[*Mally in mid conversation*]
Nick: I feel like jesus
mally: so then..what
Nick: lol, i dont have shoes on and my hair and stuff. lots of people have told me i look like him today
me: you feel like jesus because you dont have shoes on?
nick: JESUS DIDNT WEAR SHOES MALLY
[++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]
nick: *constantly bouncing on pillates ball*
me: NICK. JESUS CHRIST
nick: mally you dont have to call me by all my names
[++++++++++++++++++++++]
me: nick, jesus...I love you
nick: please dont call me by my stage name
[Ianio]
.XxX.
hung over over over over.
Im not drinking again.
And I Know I say that All the time and then..well....drink but this time im serious.
I dont enjoy it. Well I do but just a >> Little bit << .
After sometime, it just stops being funny and just painfull...
I dont like it.
I felt sick all today.
ughhh..
well anyway, onto other news.
aaah more later.
I have pizza
Goodbyeeeee!
[I heard about your failed suicide attempt. Im sorry. Better luck next time. Make it count. ]
This is amazing
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Hatty: *hands me 45p*
me: thankee
*vag walks in*
Me: Oh hey, Harriets just buying some shrooms off me...
Vag: right
me: yeah look shes just given me...*counts* 45p change
Vag: are you sure its not just change to buy you a twirl?
me: shut up.
[+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]
me: omg and then i woke up and i was ASLEEP!
ian: *laughs*
me: *whiny* iaaaaan . *SMACKS HER ELBOW ON THE TABLE* FUCK.
miss: *doing register* malavika...
me: *wimpering* yes...miss.
ian: lmfao
Me: *mumbling for about five minutes while hatty and vag are having a conversation. hatty is drinking. so im mummbling right...and then suddenly i say...* BULLSHIT *with soo much venom in my voice lol*
Hatty: *chokes*
*we were just having a conversation about precum*
mally: *spills water all over hatty*
hatty: *shouts* UGH LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE NOW. YOUVE MADE ME PRECUM.
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (7129 days ago)
Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz! they can't remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: Will help you up if you trip over
Best friend: Will help you up if you trip over, then trip you up again and laugh.
Friend: Sympathise
Best Friend: Cry with you
im nbebver drinkng again.
ever
jdy yd dftinl
dp giml
dp gfimo
do
so
crnk#
srunk
drunk
[i grrl dvik
ffeell div
fivl
scik
feel
sick
lovr yu awlal
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fin.
I do Believe that second hand smoke will kill me one day.
.Whoopdefuckin
Malavika's having serious issues.
For one , she's wearing suspenders.
For another, she's discovering deep feelings for her computer.
And finally, she is speaking in third person.
...
Today shall be an interesting day.