WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. 

Rules about dieting

1/ If you eat something, and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. your okay.

2/ If you drink pop with a chocolate bar (aka-twirl) all the calories in the chocolate are cancelled out by the pop. So really, your okay.

3/ If your eating with someone else, calories dont count, just make sure they eat a little more than you.

4/ Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. For example: Hot chocolate (you may have a sore throat), Brandy (apparantly when you have a hang over, the best thing to do is have a little bit more alcohol), toast (yeah it just doesnt count) and some Sara Lee Cheesecake (this is cheesecake we're talking about.)

4/ If you make the people around you look fat, you look thinner.

5/ Movie related foods, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls, do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of your's personal fuel.

6/ Cooky pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

7/ Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich, and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae. So therefore, scooping fatty substances out from a bole of haagen das, (however you spell it) and eating it from a utensil (or a finger) does not count.

8/ Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, and mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.



.yay.

I was carefully observing my brother sorting out his laundery and his clothes. It was quite interesting. He was putting them into piles. They were like all worn and filthy. I said "what are you doing? how are you sorting them out, they are all like, dirty"

and he said:

You need two piles:

-Dirty

-Dirty but wearable.


so I said "uh. okay. what do you do with the just dirty ones"

"I keep them at the back of the drawers until they become dirty but wearable"

I dont understand him.


haha. Its funny though, my mom forces him to be clean. It kills him.

So anyway. Who actually reads this motherfucker?


msg me :)

Ide like to start a fanclub.

A tribute to my dairies undenyable coolness.

1. Mistakes make you who you are.

2. Perfection is customizable.

3. Nobody really cares.

4. Everybody cares.

5. Everybody Judges you

6. But you Dont have to listen to them.

7. Disappointment in oneself only stems from the knowledge that we CAN do better

8. Every day you achieve some thing more.

9. Dont look back in anger. Dont look back in regrets.

10. The world will not stop for you.

11. Love is precious.

Love

What a missused word.

Used to Freely.

Its not just a word.

Its an emotion you share with that special person.

Not just anybody.

Why dont you understand that.

It hurts.

I just ate milk and cookies....

I feel sick :S

I was watching "celebraties uncensored"

Which just means I have no life ; therefore spend my time living vicariously through celebraties. As I mentioned previously.

Tomorrow is going to be unbelievably boring. Ian, David, Vag and Harriet are like on "Study leave" before their german exams.

So thats R.E AND HISOTRY.

So that sucks.

Hehehe, oh well I have mark lmfao.

AND MATT.

for serious.

I dont know How im going to cope without jumping on Ian a couple of times tomorrow. It will be just too difficult.

I was c u r l i n g my hair.

But it got too time consuming.

And boring.

So I stopped.

Now I have poofy fucked up, not curly, not straight, not wavy, hair.

James thought it was funny that I was in the Drugs squad, however Smoked weed.

Ironic


But fuck you anyway. You will get over it.

Matt really really hurt my elbow today. I was just standing there, talking to Somebody when he came and grabbed be from behind (brutally) and like swung me around by my elbows.

It hurt oh so much .

He offered to lick it better.

I am a subcultural Goth

[In media. Everybodies silent while watching a film....]

Becky: *whispers* Want to see my knickers?
Me: Sure


[Ever so seriously in Biology.....]
James: Are you Pregnant?
Me: Yes James I asexually Reproduced offspring.
James: *turns away*



[David and I on the bussss]

David: a b c d e f g oh my god i forgot my alphabet *laughs REALLY HARD*
Me: *stare*
David: Why dont you ever laugh ?
Me: Oh I do, your just really not funny

[Vag in maths]

Me: *says something gross*
Vag: *silence* You are repulsive.


[Matt and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII - talking about his new chinease girlfriend lol - let me remind you that this innocent little girl came on an exchange to england to experiance english culture. right.]

Me: Aw so who asked who out?
Matt: she asked me out kinda.
Me: how how how
Matt: well it was on msn. she just said "I dont have a boyfriend. Do you want to try"
Me and matt: *OMGLMFAO*


[Later that day...i was walking along hte corridor, linking arms with him and shouting...]....

Me: HES GOT A GIRLFRIEND
Matt: AND ITS NOT HER.

Its 1:38.

Just almost finished cleaning mah room. Im impressed. The cleaning ladies are coming tomorrow, and my mother insists I clean it. Ive tried reasoning with her. infact, we've had that conversation manyer times before. It gets us nowhere. So what the hell ever.

She was Extreamly pissed off at me because :

It was 12 O clock

I hadnt washed my hair yet.

I hadnt cleaned my room yet.

I hadnt Done my Homework yet.

I hadnt Eaten Yet.


So it sounds bad but, its just my way of doing things. I might take a much longer time comparativly, but I do things. And Im satisfied at the end of it too.

I told her to give me space, and time to do what I need to do, How and When I need to do it.

I promise I WILL do things.

And It WILL make her happy.

But just let me do it MY way.

She said no and ordered I clean my room NOW.

heh.

Well thats life eh.

Well my rooms still not entirely finished yet.

I have no idea what homework is in for tomorrow....

But Ill get away with it.

I just found out that my form tutor is bisexual.

And Im hungry.

You Should Have Seen The Curse That Flew Right By You

Conversation with matt:

Me =
([Im in the pink....])



hey fuck face, wanna fuck my face?

[hello matt......]

[oh you have hawt orgasm girl as your picture again ]

defo.....hows u n nicholad?

or las woteva lol

[lmfao  nicholad is fine thanks ]

[*hug*]

[oh "u n nicholad"  WE are fine you poopy]

great...i think im goin out wit eva

[who?      ...... ]

chinese girl

[oommmgosh really. ]

uhuh

[the chick from the CHINEASE EXCHANGE. MATT!]

ther was more than 1, but lolo's partner called eva i think im now off out wit

[I was wondering how long it would take for you to get in one of their hawt chinease pants]

well i cant really get in ther can i?>

[lol you make me giggle]

n u make me sick so wot

lol only jokin

[uh. ]

[yay (!)]

hmmm

[oh matt you male whore]

the name is JIGGALOW

[a male whore?]

uhuh

well male prostitute

[okay. oh matt you JIGGALOW

sounds like a clown or something

who does a weird dance]

well thats kinda wot they do anyway

lol its my occupation on my profile i think

hmm u think i look like gordan ramsey?

[I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS, YOUR PICTURES CUTE THOUGH

I BET GORDON RAMSEYS CUTE!

HAH]

oh well lol no then...he is the chief that cooks thins hells kitchen...

[the chef? or a chief like a indian tribal guy wearing a leaf over his penis?]

[lmfao.........

you CHIEF!]

i was a chief tho

*SENDS PICTURE OF HIMSELF DRESSED AS A CHIEF*

[oh matt. lol. i cant believe this]

When I was in Year 7 (I think) I asked some people to tell me my unique Selling point:


"You are Very Sincear and chatty and friendly"

   -Nick Gray


"Your weird"
   
   -Mom

"Enthusiastic"

   -Andrew Vaughen

"You can Make Boys Cry"
   
   -Nathan Driver

 -x- Princess -x-

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I have no bird. I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush."