1) Dated one of your best friends: No.
2) Loved/Liked: Yes. And Its "Loving" not "Loved".
3) Cried:Yes. Plenty of times
4) Drank alcohol: Yes. Plenty of times.
5) Done drugs: Yes.
6) Broken the law: Yes.
7) Broken a bone: NO! Isnt that stoopid. I Deserve to have broken something by now!
8) Cheated on a test: Yes.
9) Skinny dipped: no! Not yet. Why the hell not.
10) Played Truth or Dare: Yes.
11Ridden in a fire truck: No:(.
12) Come close to dying: I doubt it.
13) burned yourself: Yes. With And Iron.
14) Given someone a piggy back ride: Yes. Haha.
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: Naw.
16) Stayed up till four on the phone: Yes. :)
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: Omg. Yes. I cant believe I have, and like, its part of teh questions.
18) Fell asleep while eating: Yes. But not In teh food.
19) Met someone famous: Yeah. Fame can be an asshole.
20) Been in a school play: Yes.
21) Cried in public: Yes.
22) Seen someone die: I dont know. Cant remember. Youde think youde remember something like this though right?
23) been in a fist fight: pfft
24) given someone a bruise: Yes
25) gotten a bruise: Yes. Plenty
26) knocked somone out: No.
27) been knocked out: Yes.
28) flipped any vehicles: No.
29) cut someone: Yes
30) been cut: Yes
31) burnt any buildings down: Not yet
32) sex in public: Naw
33) mooned someone: Probably
34) acted kidnapped in a car: LoL yes.
35) flashed someone: Naw.
36) kissed an ass: Yeah.
37) blew something up: Yes. I was so scared though.
38) caught your yard on fire: Nah
39) threw a firecracker at someone: No!
40) been in any wars: Yes
41) stayed up all night: Yes
42) slept all day: Yes
43) watched the sunrise: Yes :)
44) rode a motorcycle:Yes. Well On the back of one....
45) driven a car: Yes. For like three seconds. lol.
46) wrecked a car: I ran into one. Wrecked me more.
47) gotten a tity twister: What
48) given a tity twister: What.
49) posed for a nude pic: No. I wouldnt.
50) been suspended: Nope
51) been expelled: No
52) been arrested: No
53) been in jail: No
54)Watched the sun set: Yes. Its beautiful.

omg my house is totally refurbished baby.


Whatdya think.

[^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^^><^><^^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<^><^><^><^>^<>^<>^<>^>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<^]

omg I love my aunt.


She makes everything possible.

HOw DOES she do it.

*a girl asked a boy if she was pretty*
*he said no*
*she asked him if he wanted*
*to be with her forever*
*he said no*
*she then asked him if he would*
*cry if she walked away*
*he again said no*




*she had heard too much*
*she needed to leave*
*as she walked away*
*he grabbed her arm*
*and told her to stay*
*he then told her:*



*you're not pretty*
*you're beautiful.*
*i don't want to be with you forever,*
*i need to be with you forever.*
*i wouldn't cry if you walked away*
*i would die*



this applies to us

Todays a fun day :)

Spoke to Jonny

Hes so sweet! and always there whenever I want to go on and on and on about my nicholas....


:)

She put him out

ike the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart

he spent his whole life tryin' to forget

We watched him drink his pain away

a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that said I'll love her till I die

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

*broken singing*

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself

For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind

Until the night


She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

*Broken singing*

<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3]<3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 [<3] <3 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kay I woke up some time ago, and i just ate a um two croissants :)

Im listening to teh supreams! :P

so so so bored.


It sorta just dawned on me, the amount of work I need to do before school starts.

Which is on monday.

okay.

Great.

You Dont Know Stupidity

Something I dont understand :

When people ask you "how long do you think you two will last"

- as in talking about you and your significant other.

I find that quite stupid.

Do people plan when they think they're gonna last till?

"hmmm maybe three months if We're lucky. After Four, imma have to break up with her"

Well for all those people who ask me this

the answer is

I dont plan to break up with nicholas


I plan to keep him :)

Forever and ever.


I just uh, dont understand some people sometimes.

When will you ever learn.

Its not love If it isnt forever.

Maybe thats too much to ask for some.

But forever is one thing I do have. And I only want to give it to nicholas.

He has my forever.



we will be together




forever.



stupid people.

[jonnyp]

One of the sweetest guys ever.
Thanks so much sweetie.....
I hope you and Rhea are very happy together,
You deserve it...
Your so lucky, shes very beautiful.
Thank you for all the little conversations :)
They mean something to me always.
You deserve to be happy, your such a sweet guy.
Your always there to talk to 
For god knows how long
when i just talk and talk and talk about my self.
You never let me feel bad :)
I appreciate it so much
And it means so much to me.
Say Hi to Rhea for me.

Love you jonny. 

bertie: how are you an nick?
me: perfect....
bertie: how long do you think you will last?
me: forever and ever
bertie: awwwwww! if he dumps yuou (HE WONT) what would you do?
me:...ide die..





bertie: have you told him about that time at mine?
me: oh yah! he smokes weed sometimes tew...
bertie: OMG HES SO PERFECT FOR YOU
me: he is isnt he :)

June 1st. 2005.

Dear diary,

Figured Ide set this out correctly. Todays been pretty uneventfull, you could say. Mom insisted I woke up early. And my early I mean eleven. Which Is early, I was tired. So yeah, I was like "uggh" And put on some music and got washed. Spoke to teh Matthew first thing, best way to start they day Ide say. First thing he said to me was "I smell of cum". Just made my day, right there. We're planning on going to the movies tomorrow perhaps to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, as we had previously discussed the undeniable hawtness of teh Angelina Joli.
My mother thinks Im on Crack. Its all good.
Smiles everywhere.
I woke up this morning, missing Nicholas :) He liked the love letter I wrote for him. Which means alot. Because everything I said, I ment it with all my heart. So thats defiantly good.
I was thinking alot today, about relationships. Philosophising you know? Because I can do that. I have teh brain power you see. Maybe more on that later, too much effort to type it.

Mom taking my brother and shaun to see Millions. Or whatever. At maybe 8:00? so I get some alone time with mah house. Apart from the teh random dude that lives with us. but its Okay, We dont talk. lol.

I wish I could write as fast As I type.

Infact, I wish I Could think as fast as I type.

I got another Msg from a delightful Turkish man.


Letter number: 39858380
From: [onurhıdır]
To: [choke_on_dreams] ([x][+] Suck My Strap-On [+][x])
Sent mail 2005-06-01 12:28:31
Comment in 39858462




HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HOW ARE YOU SEXY BABY???
SEND YOUR MSN OR YAHOO ADDRESS PLSSSS
MY MSN AND YAHOO ADDRESS onurcakmak23@hotmail.com
onurcakmak2334@yahoo.com
ADD TO FAVOURITE PEOPLE PLSSS
BECAUSE I AM YOUR NEARLY MEET WANT


[+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++]

My reply was :



I BE SORRY I NO NO SPEAK ENGLISH NO!


Insane. Isnt it?

Yes it is rather.


Spoke to my mom last night about the whole nicholas situation.

I have to take it slowly, take my time. Give her time, to accept it. It doesnt seem like much but its another step. No matter how insignificant or tedious it seems, its all worth it. Something in a bigger picture.

You dont know my mother.

She can be woman bloody hitler if she wants to be.

Aahh. I have my music up so loud.
My ears.
My beautiful ears.
Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

You Dont Know Stupidity