[choke_on_dreams]'s diary

662696  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-09-10
Written: (6870 days ago)

When A knight won his spurs
in the stories of old.
He was gentle and brave.
He was galant and bold.
With a shield on his arm
and a lance in his hand.
For God and for Valour
He rode Through the land.

No Fear do I have
and No Sword by my side
Yet still to adventure and battle I ride.
Though back into story land.
Giants have fled.
and the knights are no more.
and the dragons are dead.

Let faith be my shield
and let joy be my steed
against the castles of darkness
the ogres of greed
and let me set free from the storms of my youth
against the castle of darkness
the power of truth.










We used to sing this is Primary school.
I loved it.

662408  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

He's a Cunt.


So, No.

662407  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

He's a Cunt.


So, No.

662310  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

Eeeek Im Pretty excited Now.


Its been a long time since Ive had Anybody over. Especially a Night in with my Girlies :)

I miss those.
I always loved those.
Nights when I can be as [Pink <33333333] as I want to be.
Listen to cheesy cheesy cheesy pop.
Dance in Underwear.
And talk.
Till we cant talk anymore.



But this time, I'll be high too.

662239  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

Got My [.Weed.] Today For Saturday.

Its going to be awesome.





And Ian Can Come Too.


662237  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

662235  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-09-09
Written: (6871 days ago)

We Have A Song Now. <3

























Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt.

661855  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

I dont want to talk to Martyn again.

Because that day just proved that

It really is over.

I didnt want things to change

But they did.

And...

I dont want them back.

661766  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

But Watching Stars Without You.
My Soul Cries.

661743  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

Till Everything Burns
Till everyone screams
Burning their lives
Burning My Dreams
All of this hate
and all of this pain
burn it all down
as my anger reigns.

661735  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained.
But darlin when I hold you,
Dont you know I feel the same.

Nothing Lasts Forever.
And we Both Know Hearts Can Change. <3

























I disagree.
Nicholas is forever. <3
661733  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

Yea,
I think I should be with you.

661730  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

Itsokay.
































Ivegotaplan.
661729  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

My Life Is Brilliant.
661728  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

Ok Day.
Going to LightWater Valley tomorrow With school.
That should be alright.
Matt promised to sit next to me on the eagles Claw.
OoO.
Phil Spat today.
I talked to David again.
He seems good enough for My vag.

661727  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

Here I am
Where Ive been
Ive walked a Hundered miles in tobacco skin.
And my clothes are worn and gritty.
And I know ugliness.
[Now Show Me Something Pretty.]
I was dumb punk kid with nothing to lose.
And too much weight for walking shoes
I could have died 
From being boring
And as for lonliness.
She Greets me every morning.
At the most im a glare
Im the hopeless son whos hardly there
Im the open sign thats always busted
Im the friend you need that cant be trusted.
Here I am
Where Ive been
Walked a hundered miles in tobacco skin
And my clothes are
Worn
And gritty.
And I know ugliness.
[Now Show Me Something Pretty.]
At the most im a glare
Im the hopeless son whos hardly there
Im the open sign thats always busted
Im the friend you need that cant be trusted.
661724  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

You Had A Bad Day..














Get Over it.
661723  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-08
Written: (6872 days ago)

*My Hubby and I talking about "What If I cant cum When we're together"*

Nick: Hell, If YOU cant come, Thats YOUR problem.
Me: Gee. Thanks.

661329  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-09-07
Written: (6873 days ago)

me: NICHOLAS I PROMISE I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER LET ANYONE ELSE TOUCH ME SEXUALLY OR ENTER ME WITH THEIR TINY WEENY "NOT-AS-BIG-AS-NICKS" PENIS. I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYBODY ELSE BUT YOU. MY BODY IS FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY.

Nicholas: Malavika I promise I will never ever ever let anybody else touch me sexually or take advantage of my penis with their loose, gross "not as tight as mally's" clit. EVER. I will never ever have sex with anybody else but you. my Body is just for you and you only.



















And So It Was Said <3

661188  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-09-07
Written: (6873 days ago)

This Saturday Is gonna be Fucking AWESOMEr.
Rosie, David, Matt and Harriets coming over.


They're gonna get Wasted On My Field.

Yes MY Field.

I dont Drink.
So Instead Ill get High.

Works For Me..

I intend on Using Dave's Pipe that he doesnt Use.

I also intend on creating my OWN pipe using : Tin foil
Coke Bottle
Water
Tube
Lighter
Skunk
....
.

Well thats the Plan.
Its going to be awesome.
Ive always wanted to get high In MY field.
At sunset.
Its going to be Special..

661182  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-09-07
Written: (6873 days ago)

Some people are Cruel


Last night I realised that things had to change between Martyn and I.
For you who dont know what happened,
Im to tired to Explain.
It was some where at the start of my diary, so,
Dont bother with that.
Anyway.
I printed off all the emails we had ever written eachother.
All the friendly words.
All the "lol"s.
I came up with about 35 reasons why I missed being his friend.
And a poem I had written for him, and he'de always asked for
But I never got a chance to give it to him.
A diary entry I never thought Ide show, of some notes Me Mert and Andy passed in maths.
And just a paragraph or so about Him I wrote a year ago.
And a short letter.
In it I wrote about how much I sometimes wish he was around.
Or what it would be like if things were the same.
And that Im so happy that him and Hatty are happy because they both deserve to be.
And the End I wrote.
Things Have Changed.
I Just Want You To Know, I never Really Wanted them to.

And I put it in an envelope.
And put it in my bag.
I was so excited.
I really thought things were going to Change.
I went to school and said to him
"Can I give you something"
He sort of just looked at me, I couldnt quite read the Expression.
It wasnt that friendly.
It wasnt totally mean.
I persued though and was like "um..."
I could sense he didnt really want it, but I thought he would be joking,
and just take it.
He was moving away from me.
So I was like "Im not going to touch you." :S
and He said.
"Yeah dont touch me"
I was moving closer to pass it to him, like a step or something.
But he was moving back and telling me to stay there.
I told him im not going to touch him But
I needed to give him something.
Everyone was watching by now.
He was just like "Just step away. I dont want anything. Dont touch me"
And that hurt so much.
I sort of looked at him, infront of everyone.
And Said. "Whatever".
And walked away.
It hurt alot.
And No I dont want him to see it anymore.
I want to forget about it all.
Because I made such a big effort.
And...
No its okay.
Nevermind. Ill talk about it later maybe.
 The logged in version 

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