Goodness only knows why I should post this here, but, I'm going to. If I had the patience, I would really delete all my previous journal entries here. Oh well. My post:
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"Bloody mnhei'sahe again. Not even the (translator) does anything about that word."
"Only people can do anything about it. The day you understand it, that day our wars are at an end."
There's lots of Star Trek quotes I could pick to quote, but that one will do for now. There's no possible way I could really begin to explain here what's been going through my mind lately about that concept, mnhei'sahe, or any other number of related topics, or any real way you, the passerby reader, whoever you may be, if anyone even does read this, can begin to understand or to care without being impacted as I am by the source material.
But I'm going to attempt to do a little explaining anyway, bearing in mind that I am, after all, biased by a completely unconditional love of the best parts of Star Trek, especially the Vulcans and the Romulans (at the moment especially them, anyway.) I've been reading a lot about Rihannsu politics lately. And, more importantly, their, what for lack of a better term must be called their 'code of honor.'
Chivalry is pretty deeply ingrained into the subconscious psyche of British-born cultures. Knights, Camelot, Chivalry, that kind of thing, all tends to go together, being honorable, whatnot. Multiply chivalry by a factor of about three billion or so and you're not even close to mnhei'sahe, but you might be approaching the subject with the right attitude.
I've attempted to define it more concrete--and English terms--which is a pretty hopeless task, but these adjectives come to mind: honor, justice, integrity, love, purity, truth. Particularly honor.
Any code of ethics, or honor system, can be manipulated into something against its original intended intent, or purpose. But for all intents and purposes, mnhei'sahe is a way of life, for the Rihannsu, that involves strict personal honor, and--hm, a term I left out: loyalty.
Mnhei'sahe is about doing what will give everyone honor, including yourself, by doing what's right in a situation. That's why the term doesn't necessarily mean one thing, because the meaning changes depending on the context. It could mean granting mercy or even friendship to your enemies, instead of killing them, or it could mean engaging your closest friend or family member in a fight to the death. Those are, of course, extreme examples. It's not something that's taken lightly, however.
The first interesting point about all this is how it interacts with other philosophies found in Star Trek. The Rihannsu are the distant cousins of the Vulcans, Sundered from them in ages past, in the time of Surak, but for all that, they are still, in many was, one people. But although the Rihannsu are a warrior people, (similar yet vastly different from the Klingons, definitely,) and the Vulcans are, since the time of Surak and the Sundering, pacificts and vegetarians, although I haven't re-read the book I need to to make sure of the information instead of relying on faulty memory, the concepts of mnhei'sahe and the Vulcan o'thia fit together remarkably well--even though the first is based in a warrior culture, full of emotion and battles, and the latter is based in logic, or as o'thia literally translates, reality-truth, and 'waging peace' at all costs. "What matters is doing what's right, not merely blindly defending what is attacked." That is part of the heart of o'thia, besides pure logical reasoning and peace.
The way the two philosophies have the potential to interact is staggering.
Yes, Star Trek is fiction, written by humans and therefore not truly alien, but rooted in our own psyche and beliefs and philosophies, I'm well aware of that, and even if these ideas are merely re-manifestati
We learn from our fiction, particularly from our fairy tales. In the truest and, genre-ly speaking, broadest interpretation of the term, Star Trek is one of The fairy tales out of all fairy tales. It is one well worth learning from. Even worth taking its principles to heart, and forging a way of living around.
In a world that is too often muddled and confused and far from honorable or just, mnhei'sahe--an
There is a book called Star Trek Lives which in many places explains the real-world benefits of Star Trek and how the show, and its characters and its books, have helped people, and the world, so much. Not the least of its contributions are the ways in which it has changed the individuals who have seen it. Making the world a better place, one viewer at a time. I'd like to think I'm one of those individuals changed for the better.
A Rihannsu proverb: Truth sometimes wears a skewed look while being no less true.
Whatever form the message takes, there is one central message, the basic rightness and moral/ethical/
Star Trek is a very bright universe. It is full of hope. The kind of hope we need here, really. Mnhei'sahe is a way of life that is about, on a very basic level, doing what is honorable, and what is right. My vocabulary is insufficient at this point to be more specific than that--but when it means weeding out corruption, caring for those who need to be cared for, and building peace, what more, honestly, can there be left to say?
Undoubtedly, opposition to such "vague", "idealistic," and "impractical" notions will make itself heard, and in more unpleaasent terms than that; but where mnhei'sahe may require a form of idealism in those who dream big enough to conceive of the kind of place where that kind of virtue and honor are common place and the core of every being, o'thia, the Vulcan logic, will require the pragmatic view that tempers it.
No wonder humans were able to invent both the Rihannsu and the Vulcans. We are the two of them, joined, at least at our best; at our best, we are the results of Reunification, where the philosophies of two separate viewpoints, quite different now but rooted in one common ancestry, come together again the better for their differences and time apart.
I can already hear some of the comments about not only the content of this little essay, as it's turned out to be, but it's tone. My response to that is, well, you must experience your own revelations. This has been one of mine. It's quite possibly still occuring. This has been mostly an attempt to sort my thoughts out on the matter.
Mnhei'sahe; not a bad way to live. Certainly an improvement on the way many live, or rather, avoid living, now.
Think about it.
I repeat:
It would be nice to feel wanted again.
I can almost remember what it was like, if I concentrate hard enough.
Unfortunately, that's one of those activities that makes me feel like crying. Usually at inappropriate times, in embarassing places, in front of all the wrong people.
I wonder if the right person would even notice.
Life is funny, sometimes. WYSIWYG. Only not...
It was never supposed to be like this.
It would be so easy to adopt a dramatic stance and exclaim in remorse and terror, "What have I done!", but the problem is--
--I already know.
And this particular rhetorical question only drives the pain in deeper.
So much for...
<sigh>.
everything.
Well, fuck.
You know sometimes friends are great
and sometimes the most well-intention
...fuck everything up.
Fuck.
I dislike being ignored.
I have a suspicion, a very strong suspicion, he doesn't see it as ignoring me.
But when I'm feeling bad enough about everything else, I really don't need this uncertainty, too.
It would be nice to feel wanted again.
Do you have ANY idea how bored I am??
I'M WRITING IN HERE AGAIN THAT OUGHTA TELL U SOMETHING
I also just reread all those past entry things, and WOWEE I'm... I was... eh, forget it.
You know what I really, really, really think?
I don't actually know.
Come back again tomorrow.
Or don't.
phooey on you-ey.
I guess.
Er....somethin
I don't think I can take another three weeks of school.
I have this strange simple-minded delusion that as long as I don't have to come out of my room, everything will be okay.
Nothing is ever like it should be or like I thought it would be, all plans come to nothing and there is nothing and no one I can count on.
And the worst betrayal of all I still can't get my mind around. Everything since that is surreal and unimportant. The one person I thought would be there was not, and it doesn't matter why, not really, because that's where it all fell down, right there, and now I am stuck in this horrible in-between state of mind and in the worst possible location, and I know I should never have looked back.
I knew better.
But then, I always do.
I had a disney childhood.
In a way, put in perspective, that sucks. Looking at another way, however; what better kind of childhood to have?
I don't know what I'm thinking. In a way I'm doing quite well today, but there's a dark shadow hovering in the back of my mind warning me mayday, mayday, school resumes tomorrow, running out of time, mayday, mayday
fiffilestibas.
/
today was horribly, horribly, horrible.
why am i not surprised?
The idea that "life isn't fair" is a hard lesson to learn. And, apparantly, to remember.
“Somehow for all my thinking
I can't seem to decide
Just what it truly is
That’s running through my mind
Running from the demons
that only I can see
in the end will I be one of them?
But then who will be me?”
“Understand one another? I fear I am beyond your comprehension. But you, Saruman, I now understand too well.”
--Gandalf to Saruman, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Tolkein
“The treacherous are ever distrustful.”
--Gandalf to Saruman, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
“So I took the road less traveled; now where the heck am I?”
--a t-shirt.
“See the happy moron!
He doesn’t give a damn.
I wish I were a moron—
My God! Perhaps I am!”
--??
Playing devil's advocate is the only way to know where you really stand on an issue.
“We are here because we are not all there.”
I think anarchists are stupid, yet I also find it amusing to break the rules. Push the limits. How far can you go... The reason being, I suppose, because I can't shake the solid spark of sanity in the back of my head that will always stop me before I go too far.
Always... that is, so far, always.
"Rules are there to make you think before you break them."
^ I knew rules weren't made to be broken, but I couldn't articulate it. However, on this point I think I agree (at least at the moment) with Terry Pratchet fully on this.
"The life you have led doesn't necessarily have to be the only life you have."
^ That is a very comforting thought.
I stumbled across these in an old file while going through a few long forgotten and dusty corners of my computer. Some still have the power to make me laugh. Gee, I can't imagine why...
It's okay to kiss a fool; it's okay to let a fool
kiss you... but NEVER let a kiss fool you.
Walking away isn't the hard part...it's knowing
that you won't come running after me that hurts
the most.
I still miss my x. But my aim is getting much
better.
The other day I ran into my x boyfriend. So I
backed up and hit him again.
Why does every guy have to measure up to the
one that broke my heart?
Which hurts more? Thinking you should hate him
or knowing that you don't?
One day he'll see the light... then he'll get
hit by the train!
Don't pay any mind to the people from your
past. There is a reason they're not in your
future.
(Which reminds me of a Dr Seuss quote: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Don't believe in love at first sight? Maybe you
better walk by again.
You know it's love when all you want is that
person to be happy. Even if you're not part of
their happiness.
I thought I could never love again, until you
came by. But then you kept on walking.
I must have 'play me' written all over my face
because it always seems to happen.
Sometimes the person you fall for isn't willing
to catch you.
Lots of people use really thin threads when
mending their ways.
I love you is eight letters, but then again so
is bullshit.
Do opposites really attract? At first, maybe. But... overall? Only, I think, if the oppositeness is only surface-deep.
It's called shell shock.
It happens to lots of soldiers. The example I'm thinking of was after WWI.
The once wonderful boy has grown up, in the war, into shell shock; now he can stand people only as shallow and miserable as himself.
Shell shock occurs, in other, arguably lesser, forms to those who don't have physical wars to fight. The symptoms can be different. The ones I am thinking of, however, might occur in people who fight non-physical battles as well.
An epic war of the soul.
It's a self defense mechanism. When the unendurable comes to pass--it's not endured. But to stave off fully fledged insanity, or death, it's simply... backed away from.
'To step aside is human.'
Sometimes it's neccessary.
Sometimes it's also a bloody stupid thing to do.
And sometimes...
when, perhaps, it's at its most dangerous...
it's very, very tempting.
At first it makes you feel bad. You're puzzled, a bit confused, a little hurt. And then--nothing. Nothing changes. The other shoe never falls. Nothing occurs. That's when the safe guard kicks in: anger. Anger. "Well, what do I care anyway"* and "Forget that"** are phrases commonly heard. It's a phenomenon everybody experiences; and tonight, I am interested in identifying the stages of reaction.
?Por que?
Porque puedo, mis amigos. Porque puedo.
Que lo es siempre todo.
^ Oh look, and very bad spanish to go with my vaguely wannabe philosophical statements. Hoo-rah.
Oh my. I think I was just sarcastic about being sarcastic. Oh the irony.
The irony would kill me, but the sarcasm got there first.
Understand this, ye mortals in my power--
my power is my mortailty
you're frailty is your rejection of yours
my power is my mastery of the unavoidable
you're weakness is you're willing and want to be inept
my power is that i care
your greatest asset is that you don't
my power lies in my strength of will
your peace of mind comes from the denial you have one
my power is my pride
your death will be through your arrogance
my power is my stubborn fury
your weakness is your controlling anger
my power is my living faith
your stupidity is your sketpicism
my power is within myself
your failing is your denial of self things
my power is in being me
your failure is not being you
Footnote:
* and ** => edited for language
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I submitted to the Daily Poem.
Page version: 667.
The same poem on my wiki, whose lovely image I feature on my page. A bit of rethinking was needed to get it from 36 lines to the maximum 35, but I rather like the new format. Couplets. Haven't done those in ages.
So, the spinoff of below has been incorporated into the original, and though it is sort of long, I like it nonetheless.
Down with the conventional, death to the ordinary, and rock on to anyone who agrees with me.
~
Yet another spinoff:
penguins in a teacup
spinning round and round
watch as they go flying
through the speed of sound
penguins laughing always
autumn, arctic, albany
between the height of glory
and the cold shore of the sea
penguins penguins penguins
everywhere i look
penguin after penguin
on the pages of this book
~
*laughs derisively*
I was recently told sarcasm is a bad thing.
Personally, I would assume that, like most other things, it's neither good nor bad; it depends on how you use it.
IDIC.
^ Must remember that.
~
WHOO HOO
Yay for fun times, like last night.
Dear God, was that me dancing? How much caffeine had I ingested?? Apparantly not quite enough to kill me, as I'm still here. Were I a ghost, I think I might have noticed by now.
Maybe.
Maybe, maybe not. The philosophy of Robert Fulghum.
Forget where I heard this, but it's something along the lines of, 'the man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted the last thirty years of his life.'
So... umm... yeah.
My thoughts are spinning, and I cannot communicate them. Not here, not now, not to whoever might be reading this, not with the limitations of the english language.
In language, all that exists are possibilities, while my thoughts are struggling to break past those bonds.
Some aspects of this culture royally stink.
~
To ramble is to come perilously close to babbling.
The Tower of Babble.
Stood really tall, was never finished, a million different languages... yes, it's a bible story, anyone recognize it?
Just because it's in the Bible doesn't stop it being true, after a fashion. It's as true as any other myth, I suppose.
Of cousre, the word 'myth' just describes... a story. A belief. Not 'untrue tall tale'. The truest things in this world are myths at the core of them. Archetypes, shed of all cultural trappings.
Like love.
~
I think love is a disease. An affliction, if you will.
And if you won't I will, so it's covered either way.
But what is love? Millenia of human existence have failed to adequately address this question. Or rather, finally answer it. 'adequately address'... sounds like something out of a supervisor's reproving memo to a subordinate.
I'm hungry.
Yay for fanfiction. Sometimes I come across stories that are well written, with wit and style and personality, and I love the little phrases I come across that are just so dang quotable.
I'm getting aggravated.
You know I haven't actually watched victor/victori
Sometimes people think they need to ask for advice because they feel confused, but it's pointless to ask for advice if it's impossible to articulate the feeling of confusion into a question.
Why does it make people to speak in generalities, using phrases like "they" and "People in general" instead of "me" or "you"?
Oh, the irony.
Irony and sarcasm. In my mind those two are forever inextricably linked.
I think I'd like to jump ahead a few years, sometimes. Just to see what things are like. A dumb quiz told me I'd be married in 2009. I don't believe it. And anyway I'll do my best to disprove it on purpose...
Different people think different things are "cool". Is there an objective thingy at all, or is it all opinion? I've had this conversation in more detail before. I found a semi sort of answer, one that works--oh how ironically--fo
I should leave off this before it gets any more twisted.
Or revealing.
Excelent movie: Victor/Victori
'You don't believe in shame?'
'I believe in happiness.'
What is it with shame? It's something that affects everybody. Nearly everybody. Generalities get me in trouble, they just don't hold true when I'm around, it's like my presence bends the laws of space/time and things get screwy. But anyway. Shame. Everyone has secrets; things they are afraid to let go of and let out into the open. It's all tied up with privacy and, in my terms, 'bubbles', but it has to do with shame, too; fear, as well, the closely related sidekick... fear of being found out, because it is humiliating to be so revealed, and... vulnerable. And the latter part must be where the shame comes in.
Good question--defi
No wonder I tried to spell "busy" as "buzy", I must've been thinking of "lazy", which is most definitely "lazy" with a "z" and not "lasy."
My blog is being stupid and not posting properly, so all my thoughts that woudl ususually go in there and being spilled out here instead. In a way that's kind of sad. No, in a way tha'ts a bad thing, and in a way I don't even care anymore.
Did I ever?
Or was it all an illusion?
How can you really, truly know what's real and true when everything changes all the time? Is it only real and true if it's forever?
Fear...
of anything. Fascinating subject. Of course, it's also fascinating for psychopaths, and not just insanely curious people like me, but I am not, in the sense meant here, a psychopath. If I am a psychopath in any sense, it is where I am only a dnager to myself.
And anyone emotionally involved with me. Fmaily, freidns, whoever...
Sometimes people scare me because, I suppose this is what t is, is I have enough trouble dealing with my own issues; how can I deal with their's, too? Except that's really stupid, because I don't have to. That's why it's their issues and not mine. But then again, that's one of my flaws, and one reason I don't like drama; I take on other people's problems, for somer eason. Probably something to do with empathy or sympathy or whatnot.
I was accused of babbling earlier today. I think they may have been right.
I'ts amusing how the easily made to laugh and those who don't hang around those I hang around with think I am both random and funny.
It's quite a strange sensation, to be thought of in those terms.
Then again, it's also a strange sensation to realize I'm almost out of high school. Of cousre, I spend about fifteen seconds going "oh, my..." and then it's a unanimous: YES!!!
One exclamation mark; just excited. Two; a bit overdone, but nothing to worry about. Three; there's some issues going on, isn't there... Four; wow you're weird. Five or more; insanity, insanity, written by an insane person...
!!!!!
!!
So; continuing...
There is nowhere to continue but on into the darkness. Let's hope I remembered the extra batteries for the flashlight.
Wiat; let's hope I remembered the flashlight....
Rah,rah. Valentine's day. Charming, I'm sure.
I am, by reputation and by habit, the Grinch of Valentines. Which is odd because I actaully have a 'valentine' this year, but that's where the 'habit' part comes in.
And some people just make this day of the year miserable. Unfortunately, I have to put up with them. At least not for very long. Apparantly there are plusses to short lunches. Go figure.
Well, Happy Valentine's, spread the love, yada yada yada and more mush. That's it, that's all the warm fuzzies I can find.
Lol.
~
I sometimes wish for telepathy. Of cousre sometimes I also wish for giant marshmellows and for the sky to rain lemon drops, but that's okay, because we don't always wish for what's good for us.
Dang fortune cookies. Why couldn't it be funny like everybody else's?
"Time is the wisest counselor."
Eesh.
So relevant it's strange, so strange it's..........
RANDOMNESS IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT OMG NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I've lost it, I've gone round the bend, I've bought the funny farm, I'm out to lunch, I've left my mind, I've got out the back door, I've kicked the sanity bucket, I've lost my marbles
OH NO NOT MORE "HOOK" QUOTES
Hook, Zaphod Beeblebrox, what's the difference, my thoughts go in circles and what else is new?