Ahoy there!
I don't know why, but I tend to think I'm a pirate. And I am.
My dog kicks all your asses, you know why? Cuz he's Spider-Man. That's why. Yeah, he's got a pretty damn good cover up I'd say, posing as an inocent little lab puppy, but really he's Spider-Man, but more evil. He uses his spider powers for world domination and stuff like that.