Town Herald Advice
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hanhepi ]'s opinion on what you should do? Are you sure?? Well, just leave
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Dear Miss Advice Columnist,
I have a nice long and difficult problem that I want advice on from an unrelated
person, so here goes :)
My friends are awful! I'm serious, lol, I have a group of --I thought-- very
close friends, who always tell me their problems, which they have a lot
of. But recently when I found out a rather serious problem, they were all too
busy with their own little dramas ("but I totally love this rock star, how can I
make him realize I exist???" type stuff) to listen so I ended up not telling
them. This problem is something that will remain with me for the rest of my
life, and affects most of what I do, and I've tried discussing it with them a
couple times now, but one or the other of them always wants to be the center of
attention. If I interrupt their drama, I'm accused of being 'self absorbed',
which frankly, I think is something more suited to several of them. Two friends
of mine who aren't in that group know, and they think I shouldn't bother with my
friends if they're going to continue being selfish . . . spanners :)
...But it's not so easy to just leave friends you've had for years, and this
isn't something I can discuss easily so I can't just blurt it out at them before
they can open their mouths. What should I do??? Ditch my friends? Yell and
scream and be generally self absorbed? Wait and see if they ask about it?
Please, I need advice!
~Self Absorbed ;)
Dear Self Absorbed,
Your “friends” (I use that term lightly, very lightly) ARE awful. Absolutely
horrible. A friend should actually show some concern for your problems. Yours
don't seem to realize this. I suggest you tell them all to go take a hike. You
need to find new friends, hun, you really do. You should be able to count on a
friend, with trivial matters and with your important things. And you know what;
tell your friend who is trying to get a rock star to notice her that I say
she/he is a complete moron. “That rock star will never notice you, you aren't
their type. Grow up and get a life.” Back to you: There really are people out
there who will pay attention to your problems; all you have to do is find them.
I know it isn't easy, but it is worth the effort. Nothing in life that really
matters is easy. The friends that aren't in that “group” seem like they are
worth having. Sounds like they know what they are talking about too. Listen to
them, tell those other people “Grow up, get over it, <expletive> off, and go
<expletive> yourselves, you selfish little <expletive>s.” Fill in your own
expletives there, personalize it, make it yours. Lol.
Mrs. Advice Giver's Husband (Mr. Advice Giver)'s 2 cents: “There are
different degrees of friendship. Some people in your life you can tell
everything in your life to, and they will never judge you. And there are others
who you merely enjoy spending time with. There is nothing wrong with either
type, you just need to realize that there are different things they can do to
help you. I don't believe you should judge these friends for their disinterest
in your problems, yet you should be grateful that you have 2 friends who ARE
interested in your problems.
Dear Advisor,
What can I do as an Elftowner to both find other Elftowners like myself, and
help in some way to make Elftown a better place?
~Lonely And Lost
Dear Lonely And Lost,
I find that the “View Random Member” button at the top of each house is quite
handy. Just hit it until you find someone that seems to be interested in the
same things you are, or seems to have an opinion in common with you. Strike up a
conversation with them. By this I mean, leave them a message consisting of more
than just “Hi! How ya' doin'?”. Something similar to “Hi! My name is ______. I
was flipping through random houses when I stumbled across yours. Looks like we
have a lot in common! For example: ______, ______, ______, and _____. Do you
feel like talking for a while?” Be sure that they don't have a “no mindless
chatter policy” of some kind (see below). The forums are also a good place to
meet people. Join a forum, read a few of the RECENT posts, and add your opinion.
Or start a NEW thread. If you write a coherent sentence or paragraph, you are
bound to get to know people. As far as making Elftown a better place, try being
a good citizen (Don't be an asshole, follow the
Uploading Art Rules , Respect the
Guards and the
Council .) There are tons of other things you can do in addition to that:
report members who are misbehaving, check out the wikis listed on
Contribute and see if anything there sparks your interest!
Mr. Advice's 2 cents:
If there is something you perceive as a problem in Elftown, try making a
suggestion in the “Elftown, Suggestions” Forum.
Mistress Advice Lady,
If I am not an artist / writer, what is Elftown for?
~Why Am I Here
Dear Why,
Well, Elftown is a wonderful place to meet new friends, discover “lost” or
undiscovered talents, and hone any other talent you have. Heck, even if you just
look at everyone else's art, its still fun! Who knows, maybe it will inspire you
to draw something, or write a story!
Hey,
What do you think of those that only want to use Elftown as a dating service or
a cyber sex chat room?
~WaNnA CyBeR?
Dear WaNnA,
I think they are pitiful cretins who should go away. Lol. If you are already an
active member, and you want to create a clone house just for cybering, that's a
different matter. I mean, after all, who wants the world to know that you cyber?
With a clone house you can still be taken seriously all the time that you are
logged into your main house. But I think that the people who sign up ONLY so
they have a place to cyber should find 1) a life 2)a real life person 3) a
different place to go.
2 more cents from Mr. Advice:
I don't give a shit one way or another. (I get the impression he is tired of
helping me...lol!)
Oh, Opinionated One,
How can I convince people that I am not available for random chatter?
~Overly Popular
Dear Overly Popular,
Just like my advice to Disinterested (see below), you must state it firmly. A
lot of times, “firmly” also means “loudly,” or in the case of Elftown,
“largely.” The <h1> and <h2> tags really do seem to help most of the time. Put
it at the top of your description for people who actually take the time to read
(rare these days, it seems) and/or at the bottom of your page for those
non-readers. They might actually see it as they type their mindless
drivel. Putting at both the top and bottom of your description doubles your
chances of it being seen and read, and if you use it as your mood as well, you
have just tripled your chances!
Mr. Advice chimes in with: “You can put banners and stuff up in your house,
right?”
Old Woman,
What is the best way to tell someone I am simply not interested, nor available?
~Disinterested
Dear Disinterested,
Just tell them. State it firmly. “I am not interested in____.”<h1> and <h2> seem
to get the point across nicely. By the way, I'm not THAT old, I'm only Twenty
Five (25). I have a few good years left in me somewhere.
Dear Miss Oracle,
Since quite a while I have discovered that I have a stalker on Elftown. He
follows me into wikis and forums. He follows me into work I do for Elftown and
starts to talk to friends on my list. :S
When I am online, I suddenly see his name on my house and he often also messages
me with silly things. He sends me messages saying I am a Tea-Leaf, I don't even
know what that is!! Or that he will try to get more badges than I have; he even
asks me to give him badges! :o
The other day I found out he donated images to
Elftown Graphics ] that look like me! O.O
Besides all of that he also followed me to
www.elfpack.com and other communities.
I think it has become pretty serious and I don't know what to do . . .
Can you help me?
- [
Sunrose ]
Dear [
Sunrose ],
Well, that is disturbing, isn't it. It sounds like he has a crush on you! Since
you also have a crush on him, you ought to profess your love to him, right
now!!! Don't toy with the poor man's heart any longer! You are probably just
stalking him anyway, rather than it being the other way around. :P
(Note: This does NOT apply to actual stalker problems, just to Sunrose's
particular problem.)