She: Though mighty gulf insatiate cormorant
  Derive me not though I seem petulant
  To fall into thy chops let others pray
  Forever their fair poems flourish may


  But as for me, hungry oblivion
  Devour me quick, accept my orizon


  My earnest prayers which do importune thee
  With gloomy shade of thy still empery
  To vail both me and my poesy


He: Far worthier lines in silence of thy state
 Do sleep secure free from love or hate


She: From which this living ne'er can be exempt
  But whilst it breathes will hate and fury tempt
 
  Then close his eyes with thy all-dimming hand
  Which not right actions can withstand
  Then close his eyes with thy all-dimming hand
  Which not right actions can withstand

They both: Peace, hateful thoughts, I now in silence pace
           (in silence pace)
    Unless some hound
   (unless some hound) DO WAKE ME FROM MY PLACE


She: I with this sharp yet well meant poesy
  Will sleep secure right free from injury
  I with this sharp yet well meant poesy
  Of cankered hate or rankest villainy



This is so gentle, isn't it?





Проснулась рано утром, и до сих пор пытаюсь привести в порядок свои мысли. Мысли сопротивляются:(


-Мальчик, кто у тебя самый старший в семье?
- Пра пра пра пра бабушка
- Но это же не возможно
- Во во во возможно


"Писать о музыке это все равно что танцевать по поводу архитектуры" - Алекс Джеймс, Blur


Ну так вот. Мысли... Мда.
Вот интересно, если меня лично от какого-то человека тошнит, то почему других - нет? Разве их тоже не должно тошнить от него? Вот странно. И еще: ведь не меня же одну! Есть еще по крайней мере 3 человека, на которых она производит такой же эффект. А на других-нет. Интересно, почему? Это, наверное, то же самое, как когда одним нравятся худые а другим полненькие. Хотя я, например не понимаю, как здравомыслящая женщина может найти хоть каплю привлекательности в лысом толстяке. Я, конечно, не спорю, что лысые толстяки тоже бывают добрыми и милыми, но ведь в лысине и пивном животе не может быть ничего привлекательного? Ведь не может?
По мне, так мужчина должен быть красивым. Ну или по крайней мере, высоким, с волосами, и красивыми глазами. И руками. Нда. таких нет. То есть, они, конечно, есть, но все наверняка нашли себе таких же идеальных девушек. Вот ведь подлость.
И вот еще. Какова цель кибер-секса? Неужели здоровый человек может получать удовольствие от букв? Я понимаю, там, смотреть эротику - это еще можно понять. Но секс в чате?.. Или по смс?... Мало того, что ничего не видишь и не чувствуешь, так еще и деньги за это платишь... Не понимаю я этого.
У меня на подоконнике, прямо перед столом, где стоит лэптоп, висит огромная паутина. Все говорят: летом всегда так, не бойся. Ну ни фига себе не бойся! Она вся кривая - совсем не похожа на мультяшную круглую паутинку, стремная, и еще - вот ужас - в ней сидит паук! Ну, это, конечно, вполне логично, но он большой и коричневй! И он еще все время висит в разных частях своей паутины. Каждое утро в разной. Я подозреваю что он там не просто ведет сидячий образ жизни, но еще и перемещается по квартире по ночам, и может быть даже ползает где-то рядом... Кошмар. Однажды, когда я была на даче, это было несколько лет назад, я проснулась посреди ночи. Не спалось. Я решила включить лампочку и занять себя чем-нибудь. Над головой у меня висела настенная лампа - кажется, бра называется. Ну тк вот. Я привыкла включать ее лежа, просто протягивая руку над собой. В тот раз у меня не было причин делать по-другому. Можно себе представить мое выражение лица, когда, протянув руку и подняв взгляд на хорошо освещенную стену, я увидела, что буквально в сантиметре от моей руки сидит здоровенный черный паук!!! Нет, ну это надо - прямо над головой!!! Отвратительно!!! Фу! С тех пор оставшееся время я спала головой в другую сторону (ногами к стенке) и больше туда не приезжала. Пауки это вообще мой кошмар. Мне они все время сеятся (мало их в реальной жизни, наверное), и они в моих снах огромные, черные, размером с кошку (как у Нила Геймана в Коралине), и гонятся за мной постоянно. Жуть кошмарная! Вот и приводи в порядок мысли после таких снов... И главное, я боюсь снять эту отвратительную штуку, во первых, потому что боюсь, что он убежит и потом в отместку сплетет ее в другом месте, поближе к моей кровати, а во вторых, потому что даже мысль о том, что я могу до этой пакости дотронуться, вызывает во мне священный ужас. Вот так и живу...






I woke up early morning and try to make my thoughts in order till this very moment.


-Kid, who's the oldest in your family?
-My grand grand grand grandmother...
-But it's not possible!
-Po po po possible!


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture - Alex James, Blur


So. Thoughts... Yep.
Interesting, if I personally loathe when I see one person, then why don't others loathe too? Shouldn't they loathe when they see him too? Strange. And one more thing, I'm not alone in it! There are at least 3 more who suffer the same effect from her! And others don't. It's interesting, why? It's probably the same when one ppl like thin girls and others like fat ones. Although I, personally, can't understand how can a sane woman find a slight bit of attraction in a bald fat man. I have no definite arguments against a fat and bald man being kind and nice, but there is nothing attractive in a bald spot and a beer paunch? Isn't it?
In my opinion, a man must be handsome. Well, at least he must be tall, with hair and beautiful eyes. And hands. I mean arms. Yep. He doesn't exist though. And if he does, he had already found a perfect girl. That's a meanness.
And there's more. What is the purpose of cybering? Can a sane man find any pleasure in nasty words? I can understand when one watches erotics - it also has it's meaning. But sex in chat?.. Or by sms?.. Besides not seeing nor feeling a thing you pay money for this bullshit... I don't understand that.
I have a large spiderweb on the window-sill, right in front of the table where the laptop is. Everybody says: it's always like this in summer, don't be afraid. No shit I'm not afraid! It's all wry, nothing like a cartoon round web, scary, and - that's a horror - it has a spider sitting in it! Well, that could be, of course, logical, but he is huge and brown! And he's always sitting in different places of the web. Every morning in a different one. I suspect that he's not just having a sedentary life-style in there, but walks the flat at nights, and even creeps somewhere close to me!.. Horrible. Once when I was in the country, it was several years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. Couldn't sleep. I decided to turn a lamp on and find something to do. I had an overhead lamp over my head. So. I used to turn it on lying on the bed, just simply stretching my hand above. That time I had no reasons to do it another way. You can imagine the expression on my face when, stretching my hand and glancing above I saw a huge black spider sitting a santimeter close to my hand! No, just imagine - right above my head!!! Disgusting!!! Eww! From that time on, the rest of time I slept with my legs to the wall, back to front, and never returned there any more. Spiders are my worst nightmare. I have permanent nightmares with spiders (I guess I miss them in real life:))), and in my dreams they are huge, black, have a size of a cat (Like in Neil Gaiman's Coralina), and always run after me. A dreadful dread! Now try to make your thoughts up in order after such nightmares... And the thing is that I'm afraid to pick the web off the window-sill, firstly because I fear that the monster will escape and then put another web in revenge, closer to my bed, and secondly because even a thought of how I touch this filth makes me feel a holy terror... That's how I live:)...

The Dead Dog Cafe Comedy Hour

Be it hereby declared and proclaimed that on
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The wheels were 'spun' for
PANDORA ATENAIS
and she will henceforth be known by her new
AUTHENTIC INDIAN NAME:
Joy Monacled Toad
~ Stay Calm... Be Brave... Wait for the Signs ~



My fairy is called Fidget Goblinweb
She is a bringer of riches and wealth
She lives in rotting woodlands near poisonous toadstools
She is only seen in the mist of an early morning



My pirate name is:
Dirty Mary Kidd




My chinese name is
Ao Ping Ning
beautiful, attractive, charming, graceful
repose, serenity, peace; peaceful
I was born in the Year of the Ox








Goth name is Bloody Tears





Japnese name is
Endoh (distant wisteria) Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)



Congratulations! Here is my perfectly Potterized name!
Pansy





My Smurf Name is:Kung Pao Smurf





Elf name is Nindë Elendil





My pagan name is
 Lilith Erin Muse




The Great Archives determine me to have gone by the identity:
Veronique le Boursier
Known in some parts of the world as:
Demeter of The Vrykolakas
The Great Archives Record:
Originated in Greece, in the fever of the Crypt.

I hate ppl you know.. I feel like they are all evil. They are selfish, egoistic, and mad. They make me sick. They don't let me live my life like I wish to live it. They disturb me with their whims. They shut my mouth when I want to speak, they do everything that makes me mad, like they plan to make a psycho out of me.
I spent my time on the Chistyi Blvd last Wednesday, I was surrounded by my precious goths: I love these ppl. they are so nice - and I feel so nice among them too:) Anyway it's always interesting to go and pass an evening there cause you can just sit on a bench and look at the ppl passing by and just watch their clothes, and as I love clothes, especially gothic, I love to do so. And no one judges you for that cause they stare at you too.
So. where was I. Yes. The ppl there were nice. One girl, Charna, is my friend for year or so, she's kind and understanding, and you will always know what to talk to her about. There was Vampire, he loves all the girls in the world, and he's very funny to spend time with if you are just his friend. Then, there was Laiho, my ex, I dated him half a year, and then I opened that he loved another girl, and we had a quarrel (he loved my long hair and to show him that we've come to an end I went to the barbery and cut it short to 2 santimeters - I looked wonderful, as a little elf:))), and then we became friends - he knows me so well, and I know him as a brother, and love him as a brother, and - oh -he left that girl:))). Then there was my own bro, I love him much, and he's always nice to me and ready to kill anybody for me and serve him on a golden dish:). Then, there was my 'wife' - she's my closest friend, and as we are always together at the university and mostly on summers, everybody calls us wives - I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! Then, there were lots of good ppl. And everything would be a dream if not one girl who made me loathe (so as she made my wife and my brother too). Ohh she was so damn sick - she was drunk to death while everybody was normal and sufficient, and she stuck to everybody, joked stupidly and did things that made evrybody sick. And she said things, that made everybody mad, but as she was a girl, the men couldn't say it to her, and the girls found it beneath their dignity speaking to her in any way. And so the evening turned into a nightmare cause I couldn't even speak to anybody well - she always listened or made her stupid commentaries....
I hate ppl. Well, not all of them, of course - there are some close friends who will never do anything that makes me sick, cause they care for me. But why, why the hell are there so few of them??? Is the Earth populated with stupid ppl? I would rather live on Saturn with those few then....
:(((((