Dear Diary,
Holy shit.
Love,
Jackie.

Eep.

1) Dated one of your best friends: yes... it went downhill
2) Loved/Liked: I'm in love...
3) Cried: everyday
4) Drank alcohol: yep yep
5) Done drugs: only marijuana
6) Broken the law: i ran away
7) Broken a bone: nope
8) Cheated on a test: nope
9) Skinny dipped: yeah, but i was drunk
10) Played Truth or Dare: mmm-hm
11) Ridden in a fire truck: nope
12) Come close to dying: yes... more than once
13) Cheated on your boy/girlfriend: only once... but it was only for 20 minutes.
14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: whenever i'm at school
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: ewww!
16) Stayed up till four on the phone: only til one
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: YEAH! lol
18) Fell asleep while eating: no-- i barely eat now
19) Met someone famous: uh-huh
20) Been in a school play: uh-huh
21) What do you want to be when you get older: i'm not sure...
22) Seen someone die: ...yes...
23) Skipped school: yep
24) Had your heart broken: ... so many times...
25) Number of scars: over 75
26) Righty or Lefty: righty
27) Best Physical feature: my eyes
28) Any boyfriend/girlfriend: yes... Eric who i love with all my heart and soul
29) Played a game that required removal of clothing: yet again, i was drunk!
30) Favorite class: math

Tears...
By: Jackie Ruble

Tears stream down my cheek
For no apparent reason...
So, again, one last time,
This is my poem of treason.

Tears drip unto my shirt
Leaving little, wet spots.
Every time i try to say why,
My throat ties into a knot.

Tears that just keep falling
I understand that there are many,
So I wipe them away,
And say there aren't any.

Annabel Lee
By: Edgar Allen Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you my know
By the name of Annabel Lee;--
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and I was a child
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee--
With a love of the winged seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud by night
Chilling my Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away frome me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me:--
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling
And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my sould from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabell Lee;--

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea--
In her tomb by the side of the sea.

"Confessions Of A Broken Heart"

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
A family in crisis that only grows older

Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater
I dream of another you
The one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces
A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed

So why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go!!

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

I love you,
I love you
I love you
I....!!!!!
I love you!!

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth...
Did you ever love me!!!?
Did you ever love me?
These are.....
The confessions...of a broken heart

Ohhh....yeah

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter...


i love this song... brings me to tears...

My Prayer Of Suicide

As I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray my soul
Within crow's beak.


Let my knife break through my skin.
Let it find my heart within.
And if I live unto the next day,
I'll try to die in every way.


Now as I lay
Within my bed
With devious voices
Inside my head.


The devious voices
Tell to me,
"Kill yourself,
You're dead you see."


If I live
When dawn wakes
I'll cut myself
Watching the blood of which it makes.

If I die
Before the break of dawn
I will call
This war won.

THE END

As I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray my soul
Within crow's beak.


Let my knife break through my skin.
Let it find my heart within.
And if I live unto the next day,
I'll try to die in every way.


Now as i lay
Within my bed
I hear devious thoughts
Inside my head.

say hello my child...

i love you

by: jackie ruble

i'm not sure if you still care

i don't know if you'll be there.

i'm sure if this is still true...

i love you.


i don't care if you don't love me

it'll just hurt, you see.

i don't care if you don't believe it is true.

i love you.


i know you don't want to hear it

i don't really give a shit.

even if i don't stay with you

i will always love you.


you may not want to know what i have to say

but i'll say it any way.

please make my dream come true

where you love me, and i love you.


by me. NO STEALING. AT ALL. I WILL REPORT YOU IF YOU DO STEAL IT!

I'd rather be loved for who I am, rather than who i'm not.


If you don't love me... Oh, well, I don't think that anyone really does love me... (of course, there's Eric, and Ashley... but that's different!)

I'll Be Sure
[To Carve]
Your Name
[On The Bullet]
So You
[Will Be The]
Last Thing
[That Goes Through]
My Mind
[When I Shoot]
The Gun.

*~*~*~*WARNING!: I don't really sleep with a knife! ... well, any more*~*~*~*

Knife
By: Jackie Ruble

Oh, wonderful knife.
The, I adore.
Make me happy
With blood and gore.

Oh, knife that I sleep with;
So pointy and sharp.
Kill me so i'm happy.
Stab me in the heart.

You may think I'm crazy.
You may think I'm nuts.
Go ahead and think that,
While I count my cuts.

You may know me as a person;
In love, but not that happy.
And it's only you I love;
Although it sounds sappy...

~*~You and Me~*~
By: Jackie Ruble

Think what you can.
Think what you may.
I can only help you
If you're willing to stay.

Dream what you wish.
Dream what you dare.
You can't belive
I'm the only one that will care.

Leave what you want.
Take what you need.
I am blind
Because you're all that I see.

Stay if you want.
Stay if you care.
I am left here
Because I wouldn't go there.

Leave if you hate.
Leave if you loath.
Do I love you and me?
I cannot love both.

Hate if you love.
Love if you hate.
But don't love me,
If it's me you hate.

Peanut Butter Jelly

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME

where he at
where he at
where he at
where he at
now
there he go
there he go
there he go
there he go

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!

peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly with a baseball bat
peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly with a football cap

where he at
where he at
where he at
where he at
now
there he go
there he go
there he go
there he go

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!

peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly with a baseball bat
peanut-butter-jelly
peanut-butter-jelly with a football cap

Suicide= A way of telling God, "You can't fire me! I QUIT!"

my solution to everything.