I have given [Katori PureHeart] many chances before. More than anyone has ever given, perhaps. More than anyone should have a right to recieve. We were in a troubled romance filled to the brim with drama the likes of which few people have ever known. For a year and a half I've given her my entire heart, never questioning, as a myriad of voices screamed profanitys at me telling me I was a total fool and she wasn't worth my love. Even now I don't fully believe what they say. She was the light of my life, the sun of my world, the core of my being. I lived for her. I loved her more deeply than some people will ever know. But she broke my heart. I forgave her. She broke it again. I forgave her as she promised she would never do it again. she threw it in my face and shattered my heart. I still forgave her when even she couldn't believe I would. She broke it again, throwing it into an emotional blender and pouring it over my head. I was still loyal and faithful to her. I took her back when she realized her mistake. I then fell into a vicious web of lies woven initially by that last betrayal when she lead us all to false names. Now I was the one who broke her heart, I was the one who came back to her, begging for forgiveness, the only one who had been tricked into their choice. She was never tricked as I was. She made her choices in full knowledge of what was going on. She then took me back for a short time, then tossed me effortlessly aside for another, basically telling me i never deserved the chance she gave me, that she was, in essence, just using me for a while even though she knew she was just going to get rid of me in a few days. My heart was thrown in my face harder than ever before. I then watched as she snowballed around with others, then told me "i will take your hand, and will never let go". I put my full trust in her again though none would say she deserved it. just two days later, she left me, saying i "treated her like a possession". This apparently is her definition of what you do when you take it slow and not just rush into bed with her. she then bounced back, loosing person after person as she betrayed them purely for the reason of "they opened up to me". Never thinking of how the person feels when she left them, after they give up EVERYTHING for her. Only once when I was buried in a web of lies was I EVER unfaithful to her. Now she begs me for "one last chance" for the fifth time. Why do YOU think its impossible for me to say yes again?
Very eventful day today so far. The Legeands of Inari: Act I has reached 11 chapters (some 15 pages in Word), [raynesprite] and I entered the ET Front Page Art Contest! with a picture that I drew and she colored (it might stand a chance at winning, maybe *hopeful look*) and I've got all the rest of today to write more! If only Talon were on...
*update* I got up to chapter 12 even! what a day for progress. Of course, I think I was inspired to finish.
I got to see Talon ^^ *gets a warm fuzzy feeling just thinking about her now*
Evil! [Just Paula] is gonna be gone all of tommorow! v.v its gonna be so boring! and shes like my best friend on, especially 'cuz [Tiger Shark] is stuck offline alot because of stupid athsema stuff and i havent seen others like [StormKitsune] or [Katori PureHeart] in days v.v and now...
i think im starting to get a crush on talon xX
Spring break! YES!!! Time to get a hooj (huge) breakfast to celebrate! Then to write the rest of chapter 10 and a good part of 11 too! The only downside is that keenspace is being a biatch and 2 or 3 of my webcomics on there update today, so i cant see 'em!
today is the day for the breaking of spring! 10+ days of no school! yeah! The Legeands of Inari: Act I will probably get to at least chapter 15 by the time its over ^^
thursday is the last day of school before glorious glorious spring break! so very very happy! except todays been boring, with no new sketches and [Katori PureHeart] never showing up online. She and my friend [Vampiric Wolf Archer] are together officially now, so hope they do well together. If I can't have her, at least one of my best friends can. And hey, its not like we now hate eachother ^^ me and Katori are still really great friends. Now to find a way to cure my loneliness instead of just supressing it.
And this is how my mood has been:
Lol! ^^ thats so nice! awesome! lol!!!
(3 minutes later)
god... im so pathetic and worthless...
(34 minutes later)
heh, im such a moody little sonofa*****
(random time later)
EVERYTHING IS SO FREAKIN AWESOME!!!! ^_^
wash, rinse, repeat =P
Ive been noticing that poll message quiz thing lots of people have in their houses. I wonder what mine would be?
[
Do you know my full real name?
Did you meet me before I was Wes?
Where did we meet?
What do you think I'm like?
What do you wish would change about me?
Why do you care about me, if at all?
How do you think of me?
What do you think I'd guess that last answer was?
What do you WANT me to say, right now?
Why won't you tell me honestly?
Why do you feel that way?
If we switched lives, do you think you could survive?
If you've already been in my position, are you glad your back to being you?
If you could have me grant you one wish, what would it be?
]
Must do wolf sketch for [Katori PureHeart] must write chapter 8 for The Legeands of Inari: Act I must do stupid latin mini-epic poem translation... (damn you Catullus ><) must do chemistry (balence yourselves, accursaid compounds!) must do algebra II (ebil sum of a series bullcrap) must do new picture I just thought up when I was looking in the mirror (dont ask, wait and see) must do Shared Worlds picture of [Just Paula] and Xa' Tsuna (her idea Oo) must outline alternate History of Inari story (the original) must copy english journal entry I wrote on the dream (the one that inspired the order, the history, wes, etc etc etc)
I somehow managed to focus long enough to write the seventh chapter of The Legeands of Inari: Act I, and now I must face this EVIL load of homework >< oh joy. AP Latin Lit, Algebra II, and Chemistry.
For all those who have been waiting for me to work on the Legeands of Inari, sorry ^^; I've been a bit slow on working on it, I promise I'll start working on it some more today! Don't hurt me O-o;
Dear god, I'm trying to fake being happy so hard even I'm convinced. Another person ish finally entering the Inari contest! ~dances happily~ I like the pic of him I did so much I use that piece of paper as a special bookmark for the Harry Potter books (They're so gigantic a regular bookmark would just get lost, its small enough to fit inside but large enough to hold the place, plus having a picture on one side helps me find my spot) ive gotten a few sketches done, and its finally the weekend. Everyones telling me to just move on, so I'm finally going to take their advice. Sixth times the charm for them apparently (Yes, I said six (6) times, meaning 5 times being told to move on after being dumped. Im an emotional punching bag =P go on, take a swing or two or ten. I just bounce right back as the stuff inside of me starts to shatter and break despite my calm collected exterior)
Its all but officially my motto.
I am... Complicated.
"Only In Dreams"
You can't resist her
She's in your bones
She is your marrow
And your ride home
You can't avoid her
She's in the air (in the air)
In between molecules
Of oxygen and carbon dioxide
Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams
You walk up to her
Ask her to dance
She says, 'Hey baby
I just might take the chance'
You say, 'It's a good thing
That you float in the air (in the air)
That way there's no way
I will crush your pretty
Toenails into a thousand pieces.'
Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams
Only in dreams...
Only in dreams...
Only in dreams...
Only in dreams...
Only in dreams...
Only in dreams...
By: Weezer
"The World Has Turned And Left Me Here"
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
I just made love with your sweet memory
One thousand times in my head
You said you loved it more than ever
You said
You remain turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened
You laughed enchanted by intellect
Or maybe you didn't
You remain turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
You remain, turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place, an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe?
By: Weezer
"The World Has Turned And Left Me Here"
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
I just made love with your sweet memory
One thousand times in my head
You said you loved it more than ever
You said
You remain turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened
You laughed enchanted by intellect
Or maybe you didn't
You remain turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
You remain, turned away
Turning further every day
The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place, an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe?
By: Weezer
Take me down in a tidalwave
Take me down when im wired
The hardest thing you ever gave away,
and the hardest thing to keep
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Need
Take me back to the other place
Take me back when im alone
I can see all the little things
That I once thought could make me whole
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Need
I Can Feel It Again
I Can Feel It Again
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Need
Be they colors of a different light
Be they colors gray and blue
Everything you ever hoped to be
is when the colors bleed
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Need
I Can Feel It Again
I Can Feel It Again
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Wanted
I am Everything You Wanted
Everything You Wanted
Everything You Wanted
Everything You Wanted
By: Unknown
Sunrise Sprint
The skyline lightens, I'm up with a start
Whats this feeling, deep in my heart?
Is it joy? Is it fear?
Is it longing? No, its clear...
The warming glow of the sun
Fills my spirit. I have to run!
To run to you, run all the way
Running faster, I will not stray
I have to be there! I know its true
I have to be there! I'm running to you
I have to make it, I strive and I pray
Will you come to me or just run away?
Will you run? Will you wait?
Am I welcome or is it too late?
The path is rough, but I do not care
I will do anything it takes to get there
If your gone, I'll follow you
Never stoping; My heart is true
No matter what keeps me from you
I brave it all to be there for you
See with your heart and let it free
I'm there for you. Will you be there for me?
I can see you, you running here
At last, at last, I hold you near.
The world is bright, not a fear in my heart
Then in an instant its fallen appart.
You've run away its all gone awry
All I can do is lay there and die
You've cut off my air and I cant move my legs
The weight of your words tie my heart down like pegs
I try to get up despite all of this wreck
Then your actions slice deeply and cut 'cross my neck.
Written by [Wes Foxx]