Christmas Countdown

December 27. But Christmas cards and ornaments and wrapping paper for next year at half price.

February 7. Buy your first Christmas present while visiting Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

May 16. Buy your second Christmas present from a door-to-door salesman you feel sorry for.

November 20. Start dropping hints about what type of presents you could really use.

November 28. Buy more cards and ornaments and wrapping paper because you can't remember where you put the ones you bought last year.

December 3. Spend a day in bed going through all the catalogues, wishing you had the money to buy the nicer things, hoping that someone will splurge on you.

December 12. Start out on the round of holiday parties.

December 14. Vow to go on a diet right after Christmas (or maybe the New Year).

December 15. Complain about the overcommercialization of Christmas.

December 16. State emphatically what you want for presents.

December 17. Start hoping against hope for a white Christmas.

December 18. Buy a Christmas tree which costs what your grandfather got for a weekly salary when he first started working.

December 19. Recieve a Christmas card with a personal note signed "Dan and Nancy." You can't think of anyone named Dan or Nancy, much less Dan and Nancy.

December 20 (8 P.M.). Begin stringing popcorn for the tree.

December 20 (8:35 P.M.). Give up stringing popcorn.

December 21. Witness a salesclerk at a crowded department store suffer a nervous breakdown and smash a vase over a customer's head.

December 22. Send cards to the people you forgot about.

December 23. Realize you haven't bought any present since May 16. Race around from store to store with nothing in mind. Buy nothing.

December 24. Buy all your presents at a large drug store at 9 P.M.

December 25. Smile bravely and try to say "Thank you" as if you really mean it.

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