Page name: Essence of Junk [Exported view] [RSS]
2014-08-05 16:09:40
Last author: ally
Owner: Triola
# of watchers: 20
D20: 16
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Where quotes are gathered, points are polished, and general silliness is stored. Behold!


[673420] Of poison and fruit

[Viking]: Poisoned fruit?
[nehirwen]: Yeah, you like some?
[Viking]: No thanks. I prefer my poison straight.
[nehirwen]: What makes you think my poison is gay?
[Viking]: It's fruity.


[438513] The origin of the barrel in the cave

[iippo]: WHAT?!?! You just discovered the Manic Street Preachers?!?!? *dies* I did not know that Argentina was a big fucking cave and you lived in a barrel inside the cave X_X;;


[617706] On [hanhepi]'s sudden improvement in spelling

[hanhepi]: you thought i just magically got better at spelling?
[Viking]: I thought maybe one of your kids was using your account.
[hanhepi]: oh! damn! that... that was wrong. extremely funny, but wrong. XD


[593546] On amazing forces wielded by the Dramatis Junkies

[iippo]: We have the power to de-coolify someone?
[All_Most PUNK]: Apparently we do :O
[iippo]: Whoa. Whoever gave us that power definitely wasn't thinking straight.
[All_Most PUNK]: How should we use it? And should it be for good or evil?


[676962] On going to frat parties

[Akayume]: Mebbe. :P But I am small and rape-able!
[Avaz]: I think I hear my cue... >_>


[416582] The very first "What song are you listening to RIGHT NOW?" post

[Viking]: It's time for one of these pointless, neverending threads. Share your current music selection.

I'm listening to Anarchy Camp by NOFX.


[686775] on redundancy

[Mortified Penguin] Pants? Ha! I laugh at the idea! Which should be apparent by that 'ha'.
[Avaz] MortPen, the Redundancy Department of Redundancy called and they want to hire you!
[Mortified Penguin] What?! I've told them 37 times on 2 separate occasions to stop calling me!
I want the calling to cease! But the calling won't stop! No, they continue with the calling, despite me having instructed them not to do so! They just keep calling!
[Avaz] Did they tell you they wanted to hire you? And did you tell them you wanted them to stop?
[Mortified Penguin] Yes, they called me and told me they wanted to hire me. When I got the call from them saying they wanted to hire me, I told them I didn't want them to hire me and to stop calling. They didn't stop calling me though, but instead continued calling me and telling me that they wanted to hire me, even though I told them I didn't want to work for them, so calling me isn't necessary, but still they continue to do so.


[686180] on being the best in Indiana

[Viking] We wasted about three hours at work the day we discovered the farting preacher.
[Sunrose] I can see why your company is on that best company list now :P


[535323] on bears

[iippo]: No, bears.
[SilverFire]: RAAAAAAR!
[iippo]: Aaah!
[SilverFire]: How can I bear with you if you don't bear!!
[iippo]: You didn't ask me to bear with you >:C
Really now, I've been pretty peeved later. You bear with who you want and don't even ask to bear with me anymore, and then you just barge in and start bearing with me. What if I'm not in the mood to bear? What if I have a headache, and you just start bearing! What am I, your private personal bearing machine who you bear with whenever you're feeling like some bearing *breaks down* You never even help me with the dishes! Y_Y


[597822] on misreading things

[hanhepi]: oh, i misread shit i supposse.
[iippo]: To do that is basically the rule in the junk forum.
[Triola]: If you misread things you get to rule the junk forum? :O


[690210] On doughnuts

[Avaz]: Damn you guys, now I really want donuts. Dunkin' here I come! >_>
[ally]: Gives a whole new meaning to the word Junk-food.


[496952] on topic
[HardRockAngel]: or is this offtopic on a topic that went offtopic on an ontopic topic, hence I am being ontopic, while you guys are offtopic?
[Easterling]: what a great line! X) Describes this forum exactly.


[499963] on the impartial forum judge
[Triola]: Yeah, I know, shocking, innit?
[iippo]: Triola!
You are hereby sentenced to two minutes of time-out for the outlandish use of the word "innit"!
[Viking]: Are you wearing a black and white shirt with an orange armband?
[iippo]: Are you suggesting that I am a zebra? o.รณ


[610517] The delightful art of being Viking and Punk
Click the comment numbers and enjoy :)


[720548] Definition of Junk
[Avaz]: That may have been fun, but very time consuming.
[iippo]: That is the best definition of the junk-forum: fun, but very time consuming.


[630255] On mime
[Viking]: 0_o
[hanhepi]: it's been almost 5 minutes since i read a reply of yours that was words. did you go Marcel Marceau on us?


[570302] One of the finest moments of Junk
[All_Most PUNK]: HEY!
[SilverFire]: YOU!
*followed by four song reference replies:*
-get off of my cloud
-Is there something worth aspiring to?
-Out there in the cold,
-Don't watch that, watch this! This is the heavyheavy monster sound!


 [646485] The Microsoft product name dropping thread:
[All_Most PUNK]: The Access of Evil?
[Triola]: Yes. You're all portals through which evil can access the world.
[All_Most PUNK]: Ah. I thought she was blaming Microsoft.
[Triola]: Well, Microsoft is another point through which evil can access the world.
[All_Most PUNK] And it Excels at that too!
[Triola] Word!
Continue reading at [646498], it is a very long and very cool thread!


[Viking] A junk skunk is someone who comes in here and makes a bunch of really bad posts and stinks the place up.


[745218] Sometimes discussions in Junk turn fishy...
[Avaz]: Sometimes they do it just for the halibut.
[Viking]: That assertion seems fishy to me.
A: Yes, it does... until you realize that before they do that, they go to their stereos and fiddle with the bass.
V: The stereos in their old Plymouth Barracudas?
A: Of course, and everyone knows they're fishing for trouble.
V: Do they learn about that in schools?
A: Yes they did. The teacher was instructing them to separate into groupers.
V: Good move. The students would probably flounder individually, even if it were their sole task for the day.
A: Quite true. Once they've separated themselves, they pretty much get through the project hook, line, and sinker.
V: It's great they can tackle it so easily without carping about the details or having to be bribed with cobbler.
A: They're an ambitious lot, they'll have no trouble to scale the ladders of society.
V: That's great! Let's hope they don't end up like the Howell's after their cruise on the Minnow.
A: I doubt they will. They seem to be more in tuna with their finances.
V: Good. That way we won't be codling them in the future.
A: With their knowledge, they won't need codling. They'll be rock stars, not clownfish.
V: As long as they don't start to perch and preen like birds.
A: These puns are killing me. I'm going to eel over and die.
V: I suppose we can use your remains to chum the waters.


[671844] - The Lovecraftian nonsensical thread
Viking: And the madness?
Punk: It's doing ok. Your family?
Viking: Not bad. And the giraffes?
Punk: On Korea. The Tea party?
Nehi: Lot's of cookie throwing. What about the lipgloss?
Punk: Failing on the gloss part. So, that Robbie Williams guy?

And so on and so forth, you get the gist of it :P Now go read the entire thread of win!


[752507] - Nehirwen evolves!

[nehirwen]: It's super effective! :D
[iippo]: The wild rattata fainted!
[Triola]: Nehirwen gained 144 exp. points!
[iippo]: Nehirwen grew to level 8!
[Triola]: What? Nehirwen is evolving!
[iippo]: Congratulations! Your Nehirwen evolved into a Wheehirden!


[761594] - We all do, Nehi. We all do =D
[nehirwen]: I say so much nonsense here I can't keep up with it. :p


[718833] - On cricket
[Viking]:I used to work with an Indian guy who tried to teach us about cricket, but all I got out of it was that he really hates Pakistan.


[777777] - The silly things we care about
It's all sevens!


[782358] - On Spoiling Chocolate
The responses are the key


[813693] - Where the :F got out of hand
[Avaz]: Right? :F
[Teufelsweib]: I'm :Feeling you
[Viking]: I bet he's enjoying that =P
[Teufelsweib]: you go back to :Fondling Ally, I'll keep on :Feeling up Avaz.
and thus the junk forum slowly shifts into the gutter
[Viking]It's a deal. Except I'll leave out the colon.
[Teufelsweib]what's wrong with your colon? :/
[Viking]Nothing is wrong with mine. I just don't like putting them in front of effs.
[Teufelsweib]like how? I'm afraid I'm not :Following you


[814911] - The paradoxical own opinion
[Avaz]: I don't drink coffee, so even my "opinion" is that of other people's thoughts.


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- Dramatis Junkies

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2013-07-01 [Viking]: Yeah, I'm a little worried. I at least hear from [All_Most PUNK] via WhatsApp somewhat regularly.

2013-07-01 [Avaz]: I will have to check my G+ chat thing when I get home. I recall sometimes seeing her online during my evenings at home. I'll ping her if see her online tonight.

2013-07-01 [Avaz]: Scratch that. I see she's online now. I will get to the bottom of this.
*srs nod*

2013-07-01 [Avaz]: She's fine, she's just sort of depressed and sad, and that she misses everybody a kamillion.

2013-07-01 [Mortified Penguin]: Even me?

2013-07-01 [Viking]: Tell her we miss her a bajillion.

2013-07-01 [Mortified Penguin]: Tell her that Mort says he misses our late night sexy video sessions on Skype and that I have her money if she's got the stuff from that guy. The guy that was wearing that red hat at the party that time. You know, the one with the tattoo on his left shoulder? Yeah, that guy.

2013-07-01 [Avaz]: Her response:
"yes, even Mort. I know he doesn't believe it when I say that I love him, but I do. Even though I ignore him and unfriend him every time I can, and spit in his drink."

2013-07-01 [Mortified Penguin]: I thought my drink tasted a lot like iippo.

2013-07-02 [Avaz]: Dammit, this is the third time I'm reading that line, and I keep misreading it as "I thought my drink tasted a lot like poo."

2013-07-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Same difference, really! But to be fair, I'm often seen saying that, so I can see where you'd make that mistake.

2013-07-02 [Avaz]: Exactly!

2013-11-08 [iippo]: Avaz just said I taste like poo


2013-11-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Seriously, though. Did you get that stuff from that guy from the party?

2013-11-11 [Avaz]: On the plus side, you can say I tasted you! ^_^

On the minus side, you taste like poo. :C

2014-07-31 [Teufelsweib]: :F kekek

2016-09-05 [Viking]: Ah, the golden ages...

2016-09-08 [Mortified Penguin]: This page doesn't have nearly enough of my classic gems. Like that one time I ate ramen! Good times.

2016-09-09 [Viking]: I don't recall any penguins ever eating ramen.

2016-09-09 [Mortified Penguin]: That's probably because I was a walrus at the time.

2016-09-10 [Viking]: Oh, right!

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