Page name: everyday superpower [Exported view] [RSS]
2013-11-07 19:09:25
Last author: iippo
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What is your everyday superpower?

An everyday superpower is an amazing ability of magical proportions - that can't exactly save the planet or couldn't really qualify you for the Evil League of Evil - but would still be really darn handy in just everyday living. Everyday superpowers aid in small everyday tasks, or impress your friends on occasion; they'd make a great party trick, or maybe just save some time or inconvenience or your face in the crazy random happenstances of life.

So if you can think of such an everyday superpower that you think would be really cool to have, please add to the page. :)

If you are really into this kind of stuff, this video might be of interest to you:

100% Accuracy
Imagine never missing when you throw a crumpled up piece of paper towards the bin. Or driving your bike really fast towards a narrow opening and flying through smoothly and without any kind of interruption. Or my personal favourite: never fiddling with keys when about to lock or unlock something, it'd go in-twist-out like lightning. Over are the days of awkwardly fumbling with things such as USB cables or pencil sharpeners.

The Perfect Last Word
This superpower allows you to have the last word - and how! It would give you the perfect thing to say every time you leave the room: a quip, an insult, a profound philosophical statement that'll leave people pondering for days - or just the clearest and most concise way of telling someone where you are going, or when you'll be back, or that you'll miss them while you are away. Beginnings and middles of your conversations would be the same meaningless drivel as everyone else's, but that wouldn't matter because you'd be remembered for your parting words. And imagine: the best dying words ever.

Babelfish Ear
The ability to understand (not speak or read, just understand upon hearing) every human language when you hear it. Wouldn't it be great to sit on the bus and listen to the conversations of foreigners (or locals if you yourself are foreign) on the bus, grinning a little inside thinking that they think that no one understands. Or being able to watch any movie from any country, being able to travel anywhere without the fear of language barrier. The possibilities aren't quite endless, but it'd still come in handy.

Exact Change, Please
The magical ability to always have the exact amount of money in your pocket for whatever it is that you are buying. Maybe you couldn't buy a house or a car with this ability, and it could get awkward sometimes "that'll be seven ninety-seven" with currencies that don't have 1 or 2 penny/cent/whatever pieces - but still, how ideally wonderful to never have to fumble for that last 10p coin or just break your bills and get a whole ton of shrapnel again just because you can't get to your change.

Do You Happen to Have the Time?
This superpower lets you always know exactly what time it is in any part of the world, even if you aren't wearing a watch. You can tell the time down to the millisecond. Perhaps not the sexiest superpower to have, but it gives you the added benefit of never being late to anything... unless you wanted to be!

I'll Have the Chicken
The ability to pick instantly the meal or restaurant to have which will please all parties involved. This makes you a good house guest, since there's none of the 'what do you want to eat?', 'oh, whatever's easiest' nonsense.

...Do you smell smoke?
You never need to note the time when you're cooking, or set a timer. You always know exactly when a meal is perfectly cooked.

Where Did I Leave the Keys?
You always remember exactly where something has been left, whether it be your keys, phone, wallet, glasses, or all those other things that people put down and forget where they left them. You even know where other people left their phones. This makes you a really useful friend to have on speed dial, but it could creep new acquaintances out.

Did you bring the sunscreen, dear?
The ability to always pack correctly for any given vacation. No more stuck in 30 degrees weather with only longsleeves because you trusted the forecast, or berating yourself for not bringing shoes that don't blister when it turns out your in-laws are the hiking kind.

All Aboard!
The ability to control the timing of trains and buses etc public transport, so that whenever you get to the stop or station, the vehicle gets there at the same time. If you are running late, so is the bus. No more waiting in the cold or in the heat!

Built-in Google Map
You have a built in mental equivalent to Google Maps. You always know which turn to take, how far you need to go, and which public transportation, if any, is needed to reach your destination.

The ability to know what each thread in the forums (especially the junk forum) is about without having to check back.

The ability to edit any instance of text with your mind. See a typo in a poster outside? Fix it. Edit that person's rude t-shirt text to say something stupid about them instead. And finally: add the 'i' to all those 'to let' signs...

Universally Liked
The ability to be liked by everyone. Even people who have to punish you are more lenient than usual because they like you so much.

Dance My Drunk Meat-Puppets, Dance!
This superpower allows you to control the bodies of anyone who has consumed alcohol. Anything from getting that group of drunk teenagers off the road so that you can pass them by to making the rowdy drunk picking a fight just sit tight on his ass. The level of control would be directly proportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed, so with sensible drinkers you would maybe only be able to move their eyebrows or something...

I hope you have a lot of inconveniences in your day!
The ability to curse someone who crosses your path with random inconvenience. You couldn't cause actual harm to anybody, but they might lose their keys or phone, have a flat or an empty tank, ruin a load of laundry, have their computer refuse to load any webpages, or any of the tons of little annoying things that life throws at people.
(from the wonderful brain of Aziz Ansari)

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2012-10-19 [iippo]: Built-in Google Map was pretty good I thunked >_>

2012-10-19 [Avaz]: Human Compass
Directionally Attuned
We Don't Need No Stinkin' Maps!

2012-10-19 [Stephen]: I like those more. xD

2012-10-19 [Viking]: Built-in Google Map is certainly better than Built-in Apple Map. Though I've heard that Built-in Nokia Map might be better.

2012-10-19 [SilverFire]: Built in Apple Maps would be the ability to get lost even when you know exactly where you are and where you're going.

2012-10-19 [Stephen]: x)

That's tempting to add, but it's really not a super power sadly.

2012-10-19 [Triola]: I wouldn't want a built in Google Map at all. Sometimes, getting lost in foreign cities is part of the fun :D

2012-10-19 [Stephen]: <img:44166_1164144892.gif>
I suppose that can be true, but only sometimes. It's not useful when you're in a rush or on a schedule. <img:stuff/rushy.png>

2013-05-03 [SilverFire]: O_O

Dude. All the mega abuse that last one is open for. X_x

2013-05-03 [iippo]: I know. BUT! It is also open for doing a lot of good. You could be this drunk angel, that makes sure drunks get home safe and stuff.

Also, the superpower is useless when people don't drink themselves stupid...

2013-05-03 [Viking]: I rather like it.

2013-05-03 [SilverFire]: Just because someone drinks themselves stupid it doesn't mean they deserve other people being a dick to them. :/ The implications of that sentence are worrying.

2013-05-03 [Viking]: You're just assuming someone with this superpower would use it foe evil only.

2013-05-04 [SilverFire]: Uh, no. I'm not.

2013-05-04 [iippo]: Well it does sound like you are...

The reason I would want this superpower (and why I came up with it) is because I have to dodge drunks at work. I just want them to make a frigging hole for a bicycle to pass through, but since they have drunk themselves stupid they won't do that. I would make them part like the red sea and pass through and then let go and no one would even have noticed.

I don't think anyone ever deserves other people being a dick to them, but usually if you are a dick to other people other people are going to be dicks to you, it's more like a consequence than something deserved. Kinda like you don't deserve to die if you drink and drive, but it is a possible consequence. Drunks very frequently are dicks to other people, so someone with the superpower might be inclined to be a dick back. Or they might not. The morals of the superpower usage are not really part of the wiki.

And also, it cannot be stressed enough that it's not actually hard to be totally immune to this superpower, unlike all the other ones.

Which sentence do you find worrying? Is it just a wording (and how would it be worded bettar then?)

2013-05-04 [Triola]: I don't see how the idea of this superpower is any more worrying than the idea of any other superpower ever conceived. I mean, if you look at the powers you can find in Marvel or DC comics, any one of them would be terrifying in the wrong hands. That's true of any power, whether super or not. Political power. Economic power. Pure physical strength. It's all open to mega abuse.

2013-05-04 [SilverFire]: No, it sounds like I'm pointing out that it's open for massive abuse. Nowhere have I ever said "and omigosh that is the only way anyone would ever use it, evar." Since when did pointing out a problem with something amount to "you're just assuming that problem will occur 100% of the time?" Where am I saying that? Shoooow meeeee.

I pretty much already figured why you'd come up with it, which was also the reason I assumed that you might not have realised when you came up with it what some other people might use it for, and hey, that's why I pointed it out! And apparently doing that is wrong somehow 'cause you're all managing to sound like in doing so I'm somehow being unreasonable. :/ Or maybe I just know too many women who've had men grope them, sexually harass them, etc. when they're drunk, because hey! drunk women deserve it; so that's what comes more immediately to my mind.

The sentence I find troubling is this one: "Also, the superpower is useless when people don't drink themselves stupid..."

Because of the combination of implication and context.

I say "someone could be a real dick with that power" and your response seems to be to point out that it wouldn't happen if they didn't "drink themselves stupid" (which is already a loaded way of saying it) which is kinda' shifting the responsibility on to them, rather than on the person with the super-power. And how is that different from saying "well if women don't want to be raped they shouldn't wear short skirts?" It's pretty bizarre to even be discussing this in terms of an impossible hypothetical super-power, but essentially, I don't think it's fair to say "oh, well, if you don't want someone to invade your mind, take away your free will and force you to commit a murder for them, then don't get drunk!" How about just not invading someone's mind? <_<

(Also I would dispute the idea that drunks are "very frequently" dicks to other people. Maybe the ones you meet are. Maybe the ones that are harmless are at home. Not being dicks and bothering you. And the kind of abuse I'm thinking of is hardly justifiable with tit-for-tat anyways. If anything ever is justifiable by that anyway.)

2013-05-04 [SilverFire]: Sure, Marvel and DC superpowers are massively problematic; but the fact that I'm not discussing that here doesn't somehow invalidate my argument.

Also, I think it's the only superpower on *this wiki* which is open to that level of abuse. You can't rape someone and get away with it using the 100% accuracy superpower. or the "I'll have the chicken please" super power. Or the correct change superpower. Or the Threadless superpower. etc.

2013-05-04 [iippo]: I did realise the rape thing and I did intentionally leave it out (so anyone who would on their own think that that would be a great way to use this power could just seep in their own gross nasty human being-ness, and if they expressed that sentiment I'd probably boot them off the wiki for being a nasty piece of scum - sort of a who-smelt-it-dealt-it approach). There is nothing anywhere that implies that you are not always completely responsible for the things you do with superpowers. There is nothing that says that only innocent and abuse-free superpowers are allowed on the wiki. Just anything that would make everyday life easier. So if someone's everyday life of being a filthy dick who sexually harasses drunk girls is made easier by a superpower, then that's an everyday superpower for that person. And I don't understand why you would imply that I'd be cool with someone getting raped because they were drunk or if they were wearing a short skirt or for any reason, since I'm not saying I'd be cool with someone abusing a superpower that has the ability to be abused. You're doing that thing you always do and I fucking hate it.
(And I think this is why you are getting so much resistance on this point: for my part I know I only think of how I would use the superpower in my everyday life, and I don't see why I would have to consider the possible different ways that someone else could abuse that power if they had it. Why is that all of a sudden part of the thing?)

Okay, correction, stupid drunks are very frequently dicks to other people. Some people get jolly when they're drunk, some people get sad, some people get stupid. This is my definition of drinking yourself stupid: when you do things while drunk that are very stupid things to do, like picking fights, saying stupid things, being inconsiderate to other people, and being an all-round irresponsible person. If you commit an action (drink) that makes you turn into a person like that (stupid), you are still completely responsible for all your actions that you committed in your stupid state. You are to blame for being stupid.

And yeah, maybe you can pick the (not so) subtle undertone in all this that I think drinking is stupid and people shouldn't do it, and I'd love to have a superpower to make people think twice about drinking themselves stupid. But mostly it's to get the morons out of my way.

2013-05-04 [SilverFire]: "There is nothing that says that only innocent and abuse-free superpowers are allowed on the wiki." That's nice to know, but relevant how, exactly? I didn't demand, ask or even imply that you should do anything about it. I just drew attention to one thing.

"You're doing that thing you always do and I fucking hate it." Well that made it all so clear.

"There is nothing anywhere that implies that you are not always completely responsible for the things you do with superpowers." Well, I kinda' disagree with that one, and that's sort of what we've been discussing: the fact that I took that one sentence as implying that.

"And I don't understand why you would imply that I'd be cool with someone getting raped because they were drunk or if they were wearing a short skirt or for any reason"

I don't think I DID imply that, and if I did, I'm sorry. But your sentences did seem to me to imply that you thought people should avoid this power by not getting drunk, and, in terms of the structure of your argument, I don't see the difference to the example I gave of rape (and giving that example doesn't imply I think you're fine with that. If anything, surely it implies the opposite? 'i think this is bad reasoning and here is an example of why' only works if you're pretty sure that the other person also agrees that the example is bad somehow).

"and I don't see why I would have to consider the possible different ways that someone else could abuse that power if they had it. Why is that all of a sudden part of the thing?"
I don't think I asked you to do that either. Again, I haven't asked, demanded or otherwise implied I think something needs to be done here. I just pointed something out. You don't HAVE to consider these things, do I HAVE to keep my mouth shut when I do?

All I did was remark that 'holy crap, that's so open to abuse'. From my point of view, you're the one making mountains here. What exactly are you "resisting"? :/

2013-11-11 [Avaz]: Aziz Ansari is pretty fantastic, I must say.

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