Feast review

Join me for dinner...

Director: John Gulager
Writers:Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton
Cast:
Duane Whitaker ... Boss Man
Balthazar Getty ... Bozo
Chauntae Davies ... Drunk Girl (as Chauntae Davis)
Hannah Schick ... Finger Girl
Diane Goldner ... Harley Mom
Josh Zuckerman ... Hot Wheels
Henry Rollins ... Coach
Eileen Ryan ... Grandma
Jason Mewes ... Edgy Cat
Judah Friedlander ... Beer Guy
Clu Gulager ... Bartender
Krista Allen ... Tuffy
Anthony 'Treach' Criss ... Vet
Jenny Wade ... Honey Pie
Tyler Patrick Jones ... Cody

In the beginning, there was Project Greenlight. And then Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Chris Moore (the three brains behind Good Will Hunting and producers of this reality show, which follows the producing and filming of a movie by independent and mostly first-time filmmakers) saw that it was a good idea that made money for them. And so, Project Greenlight 2 and Project Greenlight 3 followed. In the third season, they decided to go into the horror genre. Feast is the more than entertaining result of this decision.

The story: It’s pretty simple, really. A group of persons are trapped inside a bar in the middle of the road between nowhere and absolutely nowhere while a family of monsters (yes, they are monsters and they are a family. Can’t monsters have families?) tries to eat them. In part, at least, because some of those inside killed their baby. And, in part (probably the biggest part) because they are hungry. And maybe also because they can. That’s always a good reason.

The Good Points: As mentioned, the story is quite simple, and both writers and the director know it, so they don’t even bother trying to pretend that there’s anything else going on or that there will be twists and turns at every second. Instead, they show people being eaten. In bloody ways. Simple, huh?
What makes this an entertaining movie, then? The way they use simple resources to keep you watching. We are talking about good, perfectly used doses of humor-- not too much, not too little, and in all the right places; surprises-- the kind that make you flinch even when you can see them coming a kilometer away; political incorrectness (spoiler: Do you see that ten years old kid? Well, you probably won’t see him for a long time) and blood. Lots of blood. Blood all over the place. Disgusting blood. And some sex. But not the kind you’d like to see, believe me.
As you can tell from the cast list, they didn’t even bother to name the characters, so the owner of the bar is “Boss Man”, the guy who delivers the beer is “Beer guy” and so on. How do we know their names? Because at the beginning of the movie the camera goes around, fixes in every character for a few seconds (stopping the time) and show us a short “biography” that includes three items, one being Name, another Life Expectancy, and the third one changing with every character. Some of the comments are hilarious.
The movie is, of course, filled with cliches and commonplaces. Most of them, I daresay, are on purpose. A big part of the entertainment is making fun of the cliches, making them as obvious as possible so you can shout from the top of your lungs “God, I’ve seen that a zillion times before. But those times they were doing it seriously”. Also, that leads you straight into those surprises mentioned before.

The bad: I guess some people could be annoyed by the simplicity of the script and the lack of development in some of the characters and in the story. Well, that’s their problem. This is a movie that won’t let you think. You’ll just be entertained for a while and then you’ll go to sleep. Simple as that. If you want to “think” go watch a Bergman flick.

Best Moment: “I’m the guy who is going to save your ass” says Hero a couple minutes after entering the bar and starting barking orders. Guess what happens next? Well, you probably guessed wrong.

Stupidest Moment: The key that breaks at the worst possible moment. That was a little way too much, maybe because of the way it is told in the movie. It doesn’t manage to make fun of the common place and just looks stupid.

All In All: Blood, blood, blood; I love seeing the blood. I laugh when I see the blood. It’s fun seeing blood. Maybe I’m a psycho. You should be one too.
/ [All_Most PUNK]

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