The idiotic things Ian says

_{The new home for the things Ian says that I take dirty xD}

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Ian Eyebrow malfunction


Ian Pull me thingee out for me


Ian I thought it was a girder
Lil Emma A girder?
Ian Yeah
Lil Emma Like a big metal thing?
Ian ....What am I thinking of?
Lil Emma A garter Ian


Ian My thingy is hanging out the bottom of my trousers


Ian My nipples are hard...


Ian My thingee doesnt work


Ian *sniffs fingers* My fingers smell.......
*sniffs again.......Of chicken....huh


Ian We were talking about how I had hard nipples
Lowny But you're a Geordie, we don't feel the cold
Ian Well I'm sorry, that my nipples aren't Geordie enough


Ian Cmon Miss we're finished now can we go
Mrs. Eggett No just wait a few minutes, you know what Mr.Knight is like
Ian *walks toward door* Pleeeeeeese
Mrs. Eggett Fine, spell Schizophrenia
Ian Awww crap....S.C.H......I.Z...O.P..H...E..N.I.A
Mrs. Eggett No you missed an 'R'
Ian Fine let me spell something else
Mrs. Eggett *looks confused*
Ian *shouts* O....C....D *walks out of the door*


Mrs.Ward So what do we think?
Ian Well it could be deterministic because she wanted to wear something that matched her outfit
Mrs.Ward Ooooooh Ian's turning into our own little Gok Wan


Ian My thing's all sticky


Lil Emma Well I get it everyday now
Ian You get it off me every Thursday


Ian It won't come out!
Erin Shake it harder


Ian Someone sniff me


Ian I want one of them really long ones


Ian My crotch is all wet


Ian My penis just flew off my head


Big Steph Don't worry Ian doesn't mind sticky things


Big Steph Just lie there with your legs open and just kinda wink at people


Lil Steph *peering at Ian's t-shirt* Does that say cock legend?


Big Emma A butterfly is more manly than you


Ian I went to pull it up and it sprang back


Ian It all came out too fast


Lil Emma Buffoon
Ian Is that a type of monkey?


Ian I need a big one...I don't have a big one


Lil Emma Balls we have you know
Ian You have balls?


Ian If I make it really small it might go in


Ian Your fingers are small enough to make me squeal


Lil Emma Bad luck just follows you around like a cloud don't it?


Ian See? Gays can’t throw
Lil Steph Yeah but they can toss


Ian I'm bringing howdy back. Kinda like Justin Timberlake only not as sexy


Ian I'm not a gay gay!


Micheal Rocket Propelled
Ian Steph's farts?


Erin Ian I asked a guy out for you, but he said you were too straight looking
Ian I'm too straight to date a gay guy, coool


Michael If Ian were here he'd have pulled by now... Male, female *gestures at phallic shaped bar fitting*... object


Ian How does a T-Rex wank???


Ian I feel like a Drag Queen today


Ian Do them curtains look 3D?
Jess and Alex Yes cos they're real Ian
Ian No but I mean they look 3D. Like the colour looks odd.
Becky and Charlie Ian, they ARE 3D