I Think I'm Paranoid lyrics
You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
[Chorus:]
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
[Chorus:]
Paranoid
I think I'm paranoid
[Chorus:]
Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right
Bend me
Break me
Any way you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right.
Stupid Girl lyrics
You pretend you're high
You pretend you're bored
You pretend you're anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get
Don't believe in fear
Don't believe in faith
Don't believe in anything
That you can't break
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted
What drives you on (What drives you on)
Can drive you mad (Can drive you mad)
A million lies to sell yourself
Is all you ever had
Don't believe in love
Don't believe in hate
Don't believe in anything
That you can't waste
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Can't believe you fake it
Can't believe you fake it
Don't believe in fear
Don't believe in pain
Don't believe in anyone
That you can't tame
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Can't believe you fake it
Can't believe you fake it
Why Do You Love Me lyrics
I'm no barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things and I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
You're not some baby boy
Why you acting so surprised
You're sick of all the rules
Well I'm sick of all your lies
Now I've held back a wealth of shit, I think I'm gonna choke
I'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat
Does it really come as a surprise when I tell you I don't feel good?
Nothing ever came from nothing man
Oh man, ain't that the truth
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it, I do it again
I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof but I think that I'm right
And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it again
I get back up and I do it, I do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
drugs, sex, rock and roll... what a cliche
its fun, take my word, try it.
but dont expect to think itll satisfy you or that you wont get lost
ever thought real violent thoughts, blood, pain, bruises, floors, razors, needles...i have. and i am not ashamed.
i do not care who frowns upon whatever my mind dreams up.
what happens between two consenting adults is their pleasure and their privacy. even just to stare at each other, saying what you think, not allowed to act, how erotic. so my sense of "sexual acts" are a bit more interesting than yours...what of it?
i do not force them on you, why would you force your blandness on me?!
it is sad that you do not know of the eroticism in a simple touch or the passion in blood letting, i am sorry that you see horror in my fantasies, and sexuality only in obvious acts. how starvingly boring your days must be...where i see pornogrophy in the way some one walks, how they sip at their straw, their little interactions with others...what a sordid world we live in?
is this warm feeling in my chest happyness?
it cant be...
i look back up from where my head rests on his chest, his broken blue bottle eyes staring back at me... yip it's happyness...
im suspicious of this feeling...its fleeting and fickle, and easily lost
semen has 15cal per tsp
lost in her six moon sunday, dreamin of far off places, other faces,keep ur eyes fixed on the spinning dial
never stop speaking, purging truth
fears lost in the drowning pool beside her bed, swiftly carried away by whisperers and neatly thrown over board
just stay she wants to say, she wants to stay
strange "waking up in a world ur not a part of unless its to play its stranger"
suddenly tugging at the end of that chain...let me fall into u
let me belong to your world
dont become like they are in magazines
dont b a cut out
i dont wana walk beside a maniquin (i dot care4spelling)
thats not my idea of perfect, dont be like they r
dont make me leave and look for what u were in someone else
...and im so sad, like a good book i cant put this day back, its a sortof fairytale with u...
confesions of a masochist who's a sadist at heart but has no one else to hurt
001: Name: why?
002: Nickname: heksie
003: Country of living: SA
004: Birthdate: 20/11/87
005: Length: not sure
006: Eye color: green
007: Shoesize: 6/7
008: School/work: school
009: You smoke: yes
010: Hobby's: drawing
011: Brothers/Siste
012: Relationship: yes
013: Piercing(s): ears, more will follow shortly
014: Tattoo: soon
015: Fave Country to go to: Japan
016: Are there people you wont reply to?: jocks & idiots (often the same thing)
017: Nicest person(s) you met this year: the dvd rental place guy
018: Person you rather not have met this year: should I name the whole 1st team?
019: Who would you like to meet: fictional? Mab
020: Who do you admire most: acclaimed artisits & writers
021: Most sexy person(s): Depp & my angel
022: Favorite Pyama: yogurt? Should I know wat this is?
023: Favorite Taste: ;)
024: Favorite Movie(s): Spirited Away, Nightmare before christmass, and most recently charlie and the chocolate factory
025: Favorite music: rock, alternative
026: Favorite City(s): pta (for reasons more obvious to some)
027: Favorite Plush: don’t own any
029: Favoriete Magazine: don’t buy magz…does that make me strange?
030: Favorite sound: rain, matches
031: Favorite TV-series: carnivale
032: Favorite Writer: too many
033: Favorite Nickname: don’t like any of them
034: What is on your mousepad: my mouse
035: What is under your bed: old drawings and forgotten writings
036: Favorite color: black
037: Favorite Song ever: impossible 2 choose only one
038: Favorite song at this moment: lonely lonely, the narrow
039: Favorite food: chinese
040: Favorite class(s) in school: afr
041: Favorite drink: malibu & appletizer
042: Lucky number: 6
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: wat I create
044: What deodorant do you use: you’ll laugh
045: Favorite shoes: my beautiful black allstars
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: when I happen to fall asleep
047: What word(s) do you use most: go away
048: Most romantic moment in your life: being unexpectedly kissed in m&b…. *smiles*
049: Most embarassing moment in your life: crying infront of Sweis & his friends
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: depends, if the suns out, i prefer not to be
051: What do you do on the weekends: can’t remember
052: What class in school do you dislike most: science
053: Your Breakfast: muesli, bulgarian yogurt & honey
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: rice
055: Pets: 2 dogs & a cat
056: Laugh or dream: dream
057: Serious or funny: serious
058: Fast or slow: depends
059: You prefer being alone or have relationship: relationship
060: Simple or complicated?: complicated
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: buried
062: Sex or alcohol: alcohol
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: stay up late
064: Light or dark?: dark
065: Speak or Silence: silence
066: Tall or small guy: tall
067: News paper: I’m completely out of touch with this world
068: Hug or kiss: neither, except from one person
069: Happy or Sad: sad
070: Life or Death: death
071: Gig or Disco: gig...what a dumd q
072: Left or Right: right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: lol…that’s so pointless
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: dark
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question?: he doesn’t exist
076: You believe in reincarnation: yes
077: You believe in Aliens: no, life on other planets: to a degree
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: I’ll die alone so it doesn’t matter
079: Does true love exist: yes
080: How many kids would you like to have: none, but if I do, more than 1, and preferably adopted chinese girls
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: arrogance
082: Best feeling: yet to be felt
083: Worst feeling in the world: being unable to touch him, crying alone
084: What are you afraid of: some one else leaving
085: Are you an emotional person: yes
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: often
087: Your goal in life: see all the places I need to see
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: i didn't.
089: Favorite art: sandman novels
090: As what animal(s) would you like to reincarnate: crow/raven
091: What is the most beautiful part on the male body?: eyes and hands
092: Most original place to ask you're love to marry you?: i wont be asking
093:What do you think of Elftown: place to vent in relativ peace
i like:
in no order
my tibetan singing bowl (LOVES IT VERY MUCH)
old clocks
forks
cups & saucers
matches
insence
glass bottles (especially blue ones)
spoons
crystals & gems
old books (the covers & the binding)
safety pins
materials (velvet, satin etc)
old rock records
black&white photos
graphic novels (sandman!!!)
japan
fonts
thimbles
surrealism
languages
fish bowls
twilight
midnight
singing along to my fav songs when no ones home (loudly)
details
making small pencil notes in books, even if its useless, it looks intelligent
peppadew lays
jasmine tea
ginger
presents (it doesnt have to be big, diamond earings will do fine, thanx)
gir (LOVES VERY MUCH)
bob dylan's lyrics
spirited away (best ever!!)
hating pink
fairy lights (beautiful)
second hand book stores
statues
bells
big chrismass trees
getting letters
honey
the smell of a rose scented geranium
keys
anything celtic
crisp linen
water shaped pebbles
small excentric shops, that sell all sorts of oddities
monday nights, listening to the radio til late :)
CSI new york (much darker)
bunches of drying herbs hanging from any possible hook, and walking into them, or brushing past them and releasing their smell
im a forest person
myst (loves it deeply)
my davidstar charm Rezaan brought me from israel (love u gorjus, wil miss u forever)
pointy shoes
getting msges :)
bonfires
spirals
...im gona keep adding to this
how is it possible for me to love
and love him so damn much
AND for him to love me back...
how is it possible?
dont touch me...
i dont belong to you
only one person will ever touch me again
a perfect circle: passive
blue
walk with me, let me tell you how alone i feel, how isolated from the rest of the world i am
how i cry every night and hide away from touch
let me give some of this to you, please take it, destroy it, keep it, fling it over a mental chasm, it doesnt matter, just take it please
you can leave when ever you want to, dont feel bound to me, just dont leave me worse than you found me
i need you to be brutally honest, always, no one else will, be what no one is to me
im selling myself to you, ill improve what ever you find imperfect
let me let you feel what i feel, adopt my emotions, but do not nurture them, open the window on a snowy day and leave them on the sil, let them wither away
decay in the coldness they have made me linger in
help me
hoekom was ek so ongemaklik
tipies om nou aan als te dink wat jy kon sê en moes doen
hyt flippen mooi hande
eks mal oor hoe hy sy hare doen
sy naels was skoon
sy skoene het gepas
hyt saam met my die dom meisi uit gekyk (MENS DRA NI PINK EN SWART SAAM NIE!!)
hyt aan my gevat
voor mense
ek was rerig verbaas
vir eens in my lewe het ek nie geweet wat om te se om ‘n ou nie, was ek onseker van myself, ongemaklik, nie die eerste move gemaak nie, en nie myself soos ‘n sekshonger slet gedra nie (ja dit is so erg soos dit klink)
hoekom?
hy bestaan
hoe verduidelik ek vir enige iemand
hoe verwag ek enige iemand moet verstaan hoe ek nou voel
dit is anders, dis nie dieselfde nie
my gedagtes stry met mekaar, het hy dit net gedoen omdat...nee dit was hieroor...hoek
fokit danielle luister na jouself
dit verg so baie om blindelik te glo
miskiens regeer my wereld, verwurg deur onsekerhede, versmoor en snakend na asem, nou dat suurstof oral om my is moet ek net myself forseer om my fokken mond oop te maak, maar wat van miskien...misk
eks so bang ek kry seer, eks so fokken bang hy maak my seer, dit sou so maklik wees
he was so sure, i sat there shaking
miskien
want drugs...no need drugs
fuck
but i wont...
fuck
i sit alone, rotting, insane in the dark. the curtains rise and fall in the breeze, each lift i see outside, each fall it blocks my veiw. i expect to see you there, to be outraged by the bloody blade, the mess on the carpet, the look in my eyes. u care so much, show up, stop me...
i wait placidly
...fine fuck you, i rip down the curtains, watch me slit my wrists then
Now, don’t cry he said you look so much prettier angry
its hard to breathe
hard not to gag
hard not pray
please god let him stay
thanx he said
for letting me stain your bed
then left me there
alone and bare
just another whore
not a tear slipped past
another barrier cast
how long will it take
for your will to break
.my poem.
Nymphetamine (Overdose)
Evanescent like the scent of decay
I was fading from the race
When, in despair, my darkest days
Ran amok and forged Her face
From the fairest of handmaidens wraith
Nymphetamine
Heaving midst narcissus
On a maledict blanket of stars
She was all three wishes
Sex, sex, sex
A lover hung on Her deathrow
I was hooked on Her disease
Highly strung like Cupid's bow
Whose arrows hungered meat
And the blinding flare of passion
In the shades of narrow streets
Where their poison never rationed
All the tips they left in me
Two tracks
Bric-a-brac
Something passed between us
Like a bad crack
Upward-lit
I'd met another kind
Of rat
In fact
With every Rome inside me
Licked and ransacked...
She haunted at the corners of my mind
In black
Cataracts
Wouldn't whitewash away
Her filthy smoke stack
She burnt me like a furnace
For my future suicide
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A V of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain...
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More with lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine