this sucks!!!! On my mind all day ali has been there. i dnt know how i feel bout him. its one of those things where its like i love him...or i dont love him. there is this girl hu he like..loves and she has hurt him so much. how cud anyone, ANYONE hurt him. hes everything to me. omg...hes everything to me, its true. but what do i do? i cant tell him while hes like this, it wudnt help at all. but it might get too late and all i want is him. iv never felt these feelings before especially not for a guy. ok iv liked many guys in th past but theres something special bout ali, he stands out from the rest. i dont wanna sound obsessed with him but i know im on that road. even though all my friends say if its a bad feeling i should forget bout it forget him and move on. but like i said, hes different and stands up. he took a chance on me nd not many people do tht for me... oi oi oi...so many things are going around my head right now and i dnt know which ones too believe. </3

ah christmas. actually this year wasnt too bad. cuz it was the first day in ages tht i havent felt shit or self harmimg. me and my brothers did this big green day thing nd il tell u something i battered th shit out of those drums!! i changed my name 2 tre' coolio for the day too. nd i felt proud to be me for a change. i thought about nothing but my life nd how im gunna cope wen i go back too skool. iv gotta do my best to get over ali, its gunna be so hard hes on my mind all the time, i just wish he cud love me again. but its not gunna happen nd i know it wont, he told one of my best friends spoke 2 him nd he sed he doesnt see me more than a mate...:( but at least he still thinks of me as a friend. nd my scars are healing but theres planty room for more of them if u ask me...i dont care what neone says he is worth it for me. i wish he was ok thts all i wud want if i had 1 wish., i wudnt ask for nething for me it wud all be for him. not tht it matters he doesnt care.....i still do though.