Weird dreams lately... Can't Explain them all but, for those that really want to know they were happy... that was the weird part.
Kinda scares me to think that a "little goth kid" such as myself could actually have a dream that isn't some kind of creepy freaks me out.
Had a good Thanksgiving cept that my cousin is grounded for getting caught having sex the day before... haha.
Shit happens right?

till next time I have somethin to say.
see you when the clouds break to reveal my stars...

damn, I need to update more... ok for anyones who's interested... We had a jumper at my school about a week ago, and instead of thinking automatically "oh shit, why would she do that?!" i actually thought... "hm... it would be interesting if she hit the stairs and wound up with her legs by her head?" so from what I hear this makes me a really big asshole or something... one final note before I leave you all to your lives... If you're gunna be a jumper don't wimp out... it'll only hurt until you hit the ground.

Wow, hurray for good people! ok ok, I got a message today that made me smile. I apprecate feed-back on anything I say good or bad someone was nice enough to try to help me and that leaves the score 1,0 and since my friends and I haen't exactly been talking it makes alot of sense. (this is gunna be long) let me describe my week. I went to my cousins from tuesday through last monday, and when I got back 2 things had happend that gave me time to think. 1, no internet... it made me cry a little... and 2, no phone... I jumped for joy... so I've been thinking. I'm still going to be mean at the start of next school year, by doing this I hope to achieve a "thining out" of friend to get rid of the sunny days and bring in the ones that will come inside and play chess on a rainy day. when upon the realization that I would in fact become what I despise I have made 2 rules. those of you I talk to online. and those of you I talk to at school and social places will get treated differently. since no-one I talk to online seems to make m as mad as the ones I see and have to look at day after day. so from here on outthe people online will see no difference the change from nice to being an asshole is extremely difficult for me so I'ma try and do this right. screw this society that says I am a "freak" just because my hair is long!!! FUCK YOU SOCIALIST PIGS....

P.S. if you message me you are not a socialist pig ^_^....

I've come to a simple conculsion, if there was a sudden change in my life I wouldn't notice. Not now at least, I've been ripped a little I think. The people I trust have given-up listening to me and I'm sick of helping. from the first day of school on unless I get proof that I am actually helping people I will give up my voice. I won't count my opinion in the world I'll quit writing entirely, in this I will find the most pain of this agreement I can elimate myself from life by not paying attention, but my friends will still believe I'm here. To anyone who interperates that as I'm going to kill myself can die. I'm sick of sad emo people saying " well I'm emo cause my life sucks and I want to die." personally I think you should. yeah your life is so imperfect but your rich daddy buys you everything you want, and you've never had to ask one of your friends for a place to stay for a few days or do a honest days work. so here's my mesage to the stupid emos (cause some emos actually have a reason or just like the style) "shut the fuck up, no one wants your stupid shit." while I'm ranting and raving might as well go on about the new bi-sexuals, god knows I "love" those fuckers (don't you like sarcasim?) and by the new ones I mean the people who are like "I kissed the same sex and liked it, I guess I'm bi." fuck you people. First of all, if you kiss anybody you're going to feel something it human nature if you get a BJ, then good for you you got a BlowJob from the same sex. wow, aren't you a loser? sientificly, if someone messes with your genitals your gunna feel pleasured you stupid shits. bi-girl I have nothing against you, but for the love of god you people need to quit. "well she ate my pussy and I liked it" no shit sherlock, it happens, the genitals strike again. Stick with the opposit sex you can get more that way. guys if your girl doesn't pleasure you, get a new one. and girls if your guy sucks in bed, then do the same go get a new one. Sleep beckons me. sorry for the offences or misspellings.

My head hurts and I can't see straight. I keep hearing things not in my head but from friends and what they say pisses me off a little, and I don't know what to say. "hey quit that", won't work I've tried, or "God Dammnit, leave me alone" (this seems to piss them off to) so I've given-up on trying to save them from my temper and I'm sorry to those of you who may be accidently caught in the crossfire.

Today is extremely weird. stay up til 2a.m. talking on the phone, wake up at 5:30a.m., go to school, get back to your friends house, pass out on his bed, wake up with no one around. Kinda weird eh?