I'm sorry for not being on for so long. My compy is a little bitch and doesn't like to work. E did something and its lasting... for now. Who knows how long this will work.

Any way to all of those who really care about me (you know who you are) I miss you. I really do. Exspecially one in particular. If you're special enough to have my number, call me. ^^ K?


OKay. Love you all. Kisses.

I wonder if Clyde left the gun cabinet open? (*inside thought* If he touches Tara one more time........)

I have come to the conclusion that I am not who I know I am to be. Every once in a while i get a message from someone teling me I am Alex 'Heartbreaker' Evens. I have see this person. I am not him. Some of MY pics that I put up on the internet are labled as him.

I am very angry. *growls* I am NOT 16. I do NOT work for Heartbreaker clothing! I am a THOUSAND times better looking, and dammit thats ME!

So if you see a pic that you saw on fucking google images that are labeled 'hot emo boy' or 'Alex Evens' as my pic...it's because i was mine. I took all those damn pic when I lived in G-town and one of the few friends i had then photoshoped it for me.


I'm okay now. *sigh*

I think its a law or something that some sort of fiasco has to happen on Thanksgiving.


As that being said, here I am crying at my computer with the reason in the other room doing the same, but inside. I never dreamed something like this would happen to someone I know. Abuse? Physical and psychological? Why did someone I know and trust do this to someone I call brother, my first? How could he? I walked into the Patrov home hoping to see two people I haven't sen in a long time and only see one. I only see one standing in front of me looking down as if they felt they shouldn't be there. And when I go to hug him...he flinches away, and that hurt. He didn't talk, barely ate, and disappeared after dinner.

I had to find him; ask him what was wrong. Where's Jordon? What happened? I found him outside out of sight of the house sitting on a picnic table. That's where he clung to me and spilled his guts. How could Jordon do this to him. They've been together for so long and near the end he changed. He hurt my Arts and there was nothing he could do but cling to me and beg for help.

So here I am, totally at a loss for what to do. He was my first and there's still some residual feelings left behind. I feel taken, but he reaching for me and my heart aches to hold him. It doesn't help that he's going to live with us for a while. Mom asked if it would be okay. What happened to him isn't something you really want to keep explaining to your parents about. Now I'm torn and I feel so bad. I put off calling him, talking to him. I could've gotten out of that before anything real bad happened.

What am I going to do?

So...I had an eventful day. I woke up. I watched TV. I went to Hot Topic to talk to my fav little lesbian casheir and buy a new collar *wink* and skirt (plaid is back for winter^^). Then I went to Starbuck's where I met the Oh-so-nice manager who told me he was sorry for kicking me out and asked me out on a date. I said no (currently taken) and told him if he had wanted a date he shouldn't of kicked me out as coffee is my one material love in life. Then I came home watched a rented movie named Zzyzx which was totally fucked up and retarded. Now here I am.


Now was that the most stupidest thing you've ever read in your entire life?