Prepared by the most wonderful [Ocean Soul]

May I introduce to you.. the GP - Suited up! contest!

I did some cleaning out of my relations... Mostly people who haven't been on in ages. If you come back and really want the relation, just message me.

http://wizardsoul.com

You have passed your test, and are now deemed worthy to be known as a ... ...

Sorceress
In the war between good and evil, Sorceresss take the side of the noble and good.

You are gifted with the elemental plane of Water
A Sorceress creates magic the way a poet creates poems, with inborn talent honed by practice. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Some Sorceress' claim that the blood of dragons courses through their veins. It may even be true-it is common knowledge that certain powerful dragons can take humanoid form and even have humanoid lovers, and it’s difficult to prove that a given a Sorceress does not have a dragon ancestor. A Sorceress often has striking good looks, usually with a touch of the exotic that hints at an unusual heritage. Still, the claim that a Sorceress is partially draconic is either an unsubstantiated boast on the part of a certain Sorceress or envious gossip on the part of those who lack the Sorceress's gift.

You are attuned to the elemental plane of water. You may find yourself often drawn to places where your given element can be found in abundance, such as lakes, rivers, oceans, or sometimes even swamps. As part of your powers, you may move through your element freely, being able to swim to the deepest depths, and breathe under the waves. Some mages of the plane of water have been known to build great fortresses under the waves. Ever heard of Atlantis? Yep, that was definitely built by a water mage. It is well within your powers, to cause a tsunami, a storm of ice shards, or to cause a person unprotected by magic to spontaneously drown.

I got this from [Kurai Tenma]'s Myspace, it's great!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below OKAY?















Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down









The moral is....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!

I got this from [purelily]'s Diary ^.^
This is cute..
"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions.


Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4.Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Things that we don't want to hear -
by: warrior_femme (F/Australia) 07/17/04 12:11 pm
Msg: 41 of 55
6 recommendations

20 things you don't want to hear whilst in surgery:


1. Oops!


2. That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.


3. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!


4. Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?


5. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.


6. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.


7. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?


8. Hand me that...uh...that um.....thingie


9. If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.


10. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?


11. Dang, there go the lights again...


12. Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.


13. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.


14. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.


15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.


16. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?


17. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.


18. I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.


19. That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?


20. Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?

The colors for my wedding... of a bit because of the scanner... but pretty non-the-less

Female Comebacks
For all those girls that are sick of stupid guys. Come on guys, you can think of better.





Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?


Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.



Man: Is this seat empty?


Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.



Man: Your place or mine?


Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.



Man: So, what do you do for a living?


Woman: I'm a female impersonator.



Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?


Woman: Do not enter.



Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?


Woman: Unfertilized



Man: Your body is like a temple.


Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.



Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.


Woman: But would you stay there?



Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.


Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing