[Batgirll]'s diary

1117704  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-06-08
Written: (4400 days ago)

No you know what, I hope you read this.

I wasn't good enough for you 2 months ago, why am I now? Don't play that shit, you don't realize what you had suddenly. You knew what you had all along, you just chose to either ignore it or you felt like it wasn't enough. I should apologize, for not being enough for you. For not taking care of everything you ever needed. For not giving you everything I had, wait, I did.

And now that I've taken it back and you're left with your mistake and the ache and longing I felt when you weren't there for me you want it all back. Too late, someone's taken your place. Someone's taken my life in their hands and molded it into something I could never have guessed I could have. I'm happy.

I still can't believe, after a week of being apart, not broken up, just apart, you could let her do those things to you. When I couldn't even let him touch me, hug me, hold me, kiss me. Nothing. And now that my heart is starting to heal, and a smile is on my face, NOW you want to be the man you should have been?

Sorry.
But that's not how this works.

1117703  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-06-08
Written: (4400 days ago)

I like fountain Iced Tea because it tastes like cigarettes.

I have a yellowing nicotine stain.
I have a 3 day hangover.
I have an aching piercing.
I have a smile, deep inside me.

Because I'm happy.
Please don't try to change that.

1115427  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-04-29
Written: (4440 days ago)

50 minutes today.

:]

hangover.ugh

1114868  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-04-20
Written: (4449 days ago)

I am falling so deep right now. Fuck.

The Fray know how to save a life. Maybe they can come save mine. I need someone. I'm surrounded by people that can't help me. And it hurts.

it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.it hurts.

I feel lost. God, depression sucks.

But damn am I good at pretending, huh?


We come into this world
with our shadows attached.

No hair.
No dignity.
No teeth.
No words.

We leave this world
with our shadows attached.

No hair.
No dignity.
No teeth.
But words.

Beautiful words.


Newest piece of literary shit.

1114222  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-04-10
Written: (4459 days ago)

Dear "Love",
You're slowly slipping through my once tightly closed fingers. You're dripping onto the floor, creating a pool of hatred that grows by the second. I can't look you in the eye anymore, I know you're secrets. I can't honestly say I need you, because I woke up today not thinking of you. I can feel the very fibers of my being getting ripped from your once tight grip. I can feel my lungs fill with new air. With a fresh beginning. I'm torn. Torn between this familiar feeling, these damned butterflies, the calamity inside my head and a heart that isn't aching for a hello, a sleep unriddled with nightmares, a life not full of empty promises. "Love", like an ocean's sweet surrender...drown me once again because soon, soon life will wash me ashore and we will be apart for good.

Signed-
"Forever"

1112853  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-04-09
Written: (4479 days ago)

Some days more than others
I miss being complete.
But then there's those days
I dont give a fuck how broken I am
todays not that day
Today's the day
the day to listen to old songs
and let tears drop on ink smiles
Todays the day to remember the past
and forget the future
because if I dont know where ive been
I have no idea where to go

Right now I'm lost
torn between what I'm used to
and what I could have
between familiarity
and a monstrosity
but Im learning
to walk the path less taken
even if a rut trips me
and I land square on my face
i know how to right myself
maybe not immediately
but soon enough

1112669  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-03-18
Written: (4482 days ago)

&&When we all turn 18...we suddenly turn into prophets.
We have all the answers. We're never wrong.
But really, we only have knowledge. None of us have true wisdom.
We are at a cusp in our lives, between our childhood and adulthood.

So hear me fellow soapbox prophets.
Step off your high horse.
Let the world humble you.
Because tomorrow.

Someone else will fill your place.
But you,
You are unique.
You can't be anyone else. No matter how hard you try.

1111529  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-03-02
Written: (4498 days ago)

slowly....
i grew up.
























And that fairytale....<img:http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/matchgurl/Capture.png>

1109708  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-02-09
Written: (4518 days ago)

The smell of you, in every dream I dream....



















Meant to be together but not that night.

1109523  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-02-08
Written: (4520 days ago)
Next in thread: 1109533

He loves you.

There's no way he can't. And I'm being serious.

ps my farts smell like tacos but I didnt eat tacos today....

1108966  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2010-01-31
Written: (4527 days ago)
Next in thread: 1108975

Why do we do the things that make us cry? Is it to feel alive? Is it to remind us that we can feel? Or is it a sadistic pleasure?

I read Dax's journal on Caringbridge every time there is a new update. (His mother Julie updates us on how shes doing without him and such) But I don't stop there. I go through the pictures too. It makes me cry, every time. I know it will make me cry and yet I still do it.

This ain't goodbye...this is just where love goes.

1107343  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-01-16
Written: (4543 days ago)
Next in thread: 1107345, 1107365

Ugh I hate being here. And I hate being alone and I hate my laptop. I'm on my itouch right now. Cried my eyes out and now I'm dozing off a little. I wish someone would text me......anyone. And as soon as someone texts me it's something upsetting I think I deserve a break and a little respect. But I can't seem to come by either.

1106801  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-01-11
Written: (4548 days ago)
Next in thread: 1106900

Know what I want in life?
I want someone to leave love notes to. Someone to wake up for and regret going to sleep for. I want someone to kiss away the dull throb between my temples. Someone to smile and make my heart melt. Someone to ask me how my day was AND CARE!! Someone that will accept that I am raving mad, embrace it and run with it.

Someone to come home to. Someone to call home.
Someone
Someone
someone
someonesomeonesomeone

 The logged in version 

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