WHOO.
September 29th was 2 years me and Curtis have been dating.
*does little dance*
hurrah for me for being able to put up with him for that long right?
NAH JK!
He should get an award for putting up with ME for that long. ^^

Unnn, anyone save me. Mother is going through a midlife crisis i think (on top of being bi-polar, manic-depressive, and menopausal) i really need to get her to a psychiatrist, she has severe parent issues. i dont think she got enough reassurance as a child or something, but GAAAAH! why does she have to break down CONSTANTLY! i mean, sure i'm a loving daughter that has an over abundance of patience and i listen to whatever she had to say, I let her rant to me as much as she wants, but I can only take so much when its always the same things she's complaining about.
HER PARENTS.
yea, grandma and grandpa are cynical, tight-assed, and both think they're right all the time, but hello, we know that. she just needs to accept that. She's 47. it should have happened by now. i'm only 17 and I accepted that bit of information LONG ago. sorry for ranting but it really irks me. Especially when she goes into the "you don't know what its like" speel. *ARG*
NO, i might not know what its like, but i also wouldn't have let it get to me for so long, or so much. I might be all cute and crap on the outside, but i'm either too optamistic to care, or too damn cold-hearted for my own good. (or a mixture of both) but i just don't gie a damn about other people's opinions, why should they matter?
ok, she moved out of her parents house at 17, THAT'S when she should have stopped searching for their aproval, or cared what they thought.

BAH

once again, i appologize for ranting. i just reeeeeaaaally need a break.

By the way guys, mom doesnt know i have pictures online, so do me a favor, DON'T tell her. if you do, i'm likely to be grounded for the rest of my life. 
(this happened Friday, and i'm lucky she didnt beat me.)


P.S. no John Paul, i'm not mad at you.

 You Know you broke my facade right? That optamistic front i put out for everyone to see. I was always the strong one. The one who listens and never gets sad.




 Somehow you saw past my mask, the happy masquerade I had danced so long. The steps i Knew by heart and the beat set my life. But you pulled me into a new dance, whose steps I did not know. A waltz of sorts you led me through; the first time i followed another. The Smiling mask was forgotten. Having no place in this new dance. You saw my face and didnt care about the scars i held.
  That smile of yours heals my wounds and your words melt the ice that had swallowed my heart.
  I feel lost you know that? I've been brought into this new dance yet you let others cut in. Dance away in anothers arms taking us further apart. I keep you in sight but cannot break free as these steps are not my own. Please cut in once again and take me from this. I cant do this alone.
  I miss my masquerade. That sweet, lively dance i had paraded around for so long. And my mask and facade I wish to take up once again and loose myself in the steps.
  I'd rather be lost than alone.

<<>>..........hmm...
yea...*looks at all the empty space*
........
yea...yesterday was a good day....*nods*
just thought i'd share that....

^__^

^^
la de da....
hehe the 26th is party at aunt tammies house....^^
wooo.
lol
< but the end of may is Tough family reunion <<>> RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
...
anyway....i'm ok now.  hehe.
...
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
^^
i like socks.
i like socks alot.
^^

...
i dunno why i'm writing this.
i guess just because life rocks.
I mean, i have great friends, a great (slightly odd) Family, and a great bf...what more can a person want eh?
...
people need to stop looking at the bad points in life and stop complaining 'oh i wish i had a bf' 'oh i wish i had more money' i wish, i wish, i wish...blah blah DO YOU KNOW HOW SELFISH AND CONCEEDED THAT SOUNDS?
look at the upside not the down side people.
i love life
whoever has a problem with that can bend there fat @$$ down and kiss my little white hobbit-sized @$$
...
I WISH somebody would just hit them over the head with the frying pan of reality....
^______^
hehe
life rocks.

Ya know what?
my life is pretty close to perfect right now.
my dad had surgery the other day to reverse the one he had while we were in Italia, he is doing fine the doctors say.
we are going to get a new house soon
the people from fema came out today, and they will be sending a check to pay for the storm damages.
my moms car is getting fixed soon and will be getting a new apint job.
...
...
ahh...you know the rest...^________^
life is great.
im as perfect now as i can be.
^-^

ummmm.
I think we may be getting a new house soon.
...
...
not in a good way
we , uh, kinda, well
a tree got mad at us and decided to fall on us....
living room/kitchen have nice new misshapen skylite......
crap
quote from my mom. "@^%$@% $# %#^#&^ @&%#%!!!!!!!"
or something like that.
crap.
oh well
need new house anyway right?
crap

oh yes a diary i just now noticed this. hmm sad but yea. today i learned about a cool new band called havent the faintest. there really cool, not quite big top dog yet but way awsome still. check um out at garagebands.com
                    Darksword