The pumping beat grabs my knees
I'm pulled to the floor
The lights dance in colors I've never seen
Shadows
on the walls laugh
The party has just begun

I groove and sway
unwritten faces take me
   take me too far
There's a sudden pause
a sort of cease

A creak follows
scurrying across the floor
The room depletes

My sun enters.
he is bright unlike cat-eyes
The shadows take their leave

but that's okay
   The party has just begun

they say she's fine
she smiles all the time
They say she'll fall
Only if she hears his call

They don't know
What I know
They can't see
What I see

They'll never understand
This is all to much for them
So she smiles
And walks away

Even though she wants to stay...

They don't know her like I do
They don't know deep inside she's
not who
They're so sure they love.

They don't know what she's like, like I do
They just think, she's on to many medicences.
To bad, they bring her home

They don't know her like I do
They don't see, what I can
If only they'ed look past
all the mistakes

They don't know her like I do
They can't see what I see
They'll never understand
How much she knows me...

Twenty years ago was when I died
a simple mortal, ah, a lie
Entrusting idiots that ne're listen
on my face the liquid glistens

The steady cough; muffled sneeze
"Yeah, living my life is a breeze"
you understand, but not in truth
for I never explained fully to you:

Death is my lover, so close are we
He dangles his fresh bait in front of me.
And time after time I pull slightly away.
But I won't avoid that trap everyday

And then it was done
It all ended so
I wanted to run
But where would I go

And the puddle grew wide
the breaking point so near
I felt bad I lied
it was this I feared

And then I awoke
It was all just a dream
It was all just a joke
I still wanted to scream

For I knew it'd come true
That feeling of dread
The complications with you
Then wanting to be dead

But then I thought on it
Thinking for a while
You were sad a bit,
But still you walked away with a smile

Some cool stuff I found I don't want to loose
Definition of a kiss.
WHAT A KISS MEANS ..

*Kiss on the stomach-----"lets have sex"
*Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"
*Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"
*Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
*Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
*Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
*Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
*Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"
*Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"
*Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
*Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"
*Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"
*Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't leave me"
*Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"
*Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
*Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completely Comfortable with you"

--Advice--
* Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
*If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But whips and chains excite me.
So throw me down
And tie me up,
And show how much you like me!!!





If water was vodka and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
But since water isnt vodka and I'm not a duck,
hand me a bottle and shut the fuck up.


This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is fourty cat
This is seconds cat
Whatta dumbass
now go back and read every 3rd word of each line.

Passion

Who do we tell, the eyes of our lords
are telling me a secret
of a bloody divorce

Oh how he was brutal,
but loving to the core
of which she'll never say
I always loved him more

For he made her quiet,
chilling to the bone
She will never sound
for her lips are sewn

Shut from all the madness
that he won't let out
Caught in an entrapment
She can never shout

So now she is chained
and beaten to the floor,
but what he'll never know
is she always loved him more

I'm making a mistake and I know it
It's one of those 'I should know better' things, but I just don't care. Or am I just too young to care. That would be something great to blame it on.

Then again I have heard the definintion of teenager;

Someone who knows better, but does it anyway.

Here I go again.

self pity...why must I wallow in it! ><
someone pull me out of this stupid cycle!

This summer is going to be long, I can feel it. Its kind of annoying that I have no life at all. I sit around and vegitate all day. I really wish someone would call me and invite me out or something. I would say no, well because I never go out, but I would like the jesture. All I do latly is write. Write, write, write, three stories to in fact. Three conflabit things that are stuck in my head and dying to be scribbled out. 

I like to think of my self as audacious, but I know I'm not. I would just like to say something here and now, I fear judgement. The judgement of everyone, but not as much as everyone as myself. I beat myself up so much over stupid little things. It is quite aggervating, but apart of who I am. Then I take my anger out on others so who ever is reading this: I am profoundly sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings. I just need to be made aware, thats all. 

So I have a photoshute soon for my agent. I really nervous about everything that is going on. Will I get any jobs? Or, am I just being subjected to the world's annoying torture. I sigh at this because one can never know with out taking a chance. I suppose I'm taking one now. Wish me luck.

So I was reading my past diary entrys. I smiled at the person I once was, curious as to what I was thinking back then. Its funny when I one grows up and retraces their steps. I think this is actully the first 'actual' diary entry I've ever made on et. 
I pondered on how immature I once was and how immature I have become. I mean I used to have ideas and morals untill they were stripped away by my teenage years. I sometimes blame it all on my mother, because she is the one that made me move into town. Yet, I know that that is an excuse, and I need to grow up. Hey, there's a start. 
I really miss the younger me, the one that gives undying love, thinks suicide is romantic, and believes in fairy tales. I'm sad that the old me has died in the teenage years suffocated from the world's terror. 
I wish I could pull her out of the water and be care-free again, but ignorence is just another sign of immaturity.

01. What is your FULL name (first. middle. last.)?
Cassandra Alicia Daugette

02. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a "star"

03. Have you ever kissed anyone of the opposite sex?
yeah, duh

04. Have you ever made out with anyone of the same sex?
*cough* yeppers

05. Name one person who has made out with more people than you?
Difinitly iggy

TAY WHAT DID YOU DO WITH 06? Now it will always remained unansered!

07. Have you ever sang in public?
a billion times

08. Have you ever stole something(from a store)?
Yep

09. What is your AIM screen name?
1-800-UWISH

10. What is your favorite color?
GREEN!!

11. Do you like anyone?
I like everyone...except you! XD

12. Are you smart?
Ofcourse I'm smrt!

13. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
How flirty they are..if they are...

14. Are you a party animal?
umm...lets not go there

15. Have you ever snuck out?
umm...lets stay away from here too

16. Do you like a friend of yours
I like a lot of friends...ur supposed to like them

17. If a random guy/girl kissed you randomly, how would you respond?
It would depend if it was Johnny Depp or not

18. Is there someone at school you have history with, but no one knows?
Yes, but I prefur to keep it hush-hush

19. If someone likes you, would you want them to tell you?
well maybe, if they are Johnny Depp

20. Are you rich?
1-800-IWISH

21. Do you consider "grinding" one of the best forms of dancing?
ewww

22. Have you ever met a famous person?
sort of

23. Are you cool?
yes I'm very cold, what does that have to do with anything?

25. Have you ever made out with someone on your Top Friends?
a couple of them

26. Would you rather approach someone, or have someone
ehh? I don't understand the question

27. Have you ever done anything insane?
We should stay away from there

28. Have you ever been in love?
Im not sure

29. Glass half empty or half full?
It depends I haven't seen it yet

30. I've come to realize that my last kiss..
meant nothing to anyone

31. I am listening to...
Anatasia Soundtrack

32. I talk...
about crap I don't even understand

33. I love...
CHICKEN

34. My best friends...
Ignores me

35. My first real kiss...
Was amazing...but I hate him now

36. My life...
is small

37. Relationships are...
annoying

38. Love is...
fake most likly...a myth

39. Marriage is...
a celebration

40. Somewhere, someone is thinking...
God, I just love her! XDDD

41. I'll always...
regret

42. I have a crush...
on...someone I can't have

43. The last time I cried was because...
I realized how I really felt

44. My cell phone...
says "hicass"

45. When I wake up in the morning...
I pretend I'm still sleeping

46. Before I go to bed...
I watch good old sex and the city

47. RIght now i am thinking...
*chicken...*

48. Babies are...
annoying, but I love toddlers

49. I get on myspace...
in hopes of a random message or comment

50. Today I..
slept till noon

51. Tonight I will...
stare out my window

52. Tomorrow I will be...
taking to many tests

53. I really want to be...
a poet

54. Someone that will most likely repost this is...
would obey my every command.

so...ummm...


Things are going weird

so w-e-i-r-d (if thats how you spell it)


I don't even want to begin to explain

Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(X) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 3

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been MUTUALLY Dumped (how is this stuipd?)
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 7

Level 3
(x) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
() Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date

SO FAR: 9

Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die (I've whatched 3 animals die in my arms)

SO FAR: 12

Level 5
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your myspace/elftown Friends.
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking... juice!

SO FAR: 14

Level 6
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook (what is this?)
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 15

Level 7
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 20

Level 8
(x) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding (offroading)
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 25

Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 30

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake
(X) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 33

Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Stole something (eh...I somtimes can't help meh self)
(X) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 37

Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident/fourwheeler wreck

SO FAR: 40

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 41

Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Looked
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced (truth or dare is a bitch)
(X) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes (only jack)

SO FAR: 44

Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(X) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 48

Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers (keven and me go way back)
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke (I own a machine)
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (quaters rule!)

SO FAR: 53

Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 56

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere

SO FAR: 59

Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 3 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
(x) Been Humped Like A Monkey (My ex had problems)

SO FAR: 63

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Said "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 65

Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed a worm

SO FAR: 67

Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(X) Stayed Up for a while talking to someone u cared about

SO FAR: 70

Level 24
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 74

Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail (sociology field trip XD)

SO FAR: 76

Level 26
(x) Played Chicken (on the monkey bars)
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 79

Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one (I was strcktly asked...I am still a virgin...Once again, my ex had problems)
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 84

Level 28
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping (feels refreshing)
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 89

Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x)Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 94

Level 31
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone


SO FAR : 98

Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex
( ) flattened someones tires
(X) Rode car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas

So i've done 99 out 150 stupid things

You know there are probably more I couldn't think of XD