[Fixien]'s diary

753224  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-02-23
Written: (6645 days ago)

Finally I succeded
That's what I thought
Finally I got everyting right
That's what I hoped

I thought I lost it
The ability to confuse myself
That I lose this is my hope
But everytime it fades away

I still manage to get myself into this corner
A never ending chain of thought
All connected someway or another
All leading to a point

I'm not more than a flock of dust
Caught in a spider's web
Strugling to get out of it
Trying to survive

Everything starts somewhere
But where does mine?
A beginning which have not yet found his end
A story without its happy ending

My tale has no knight on a white horse
No fairies flying around
No singing-a-longs
And neither it has merry folk dancing on the streets

My story is one with dark clouds
Surrounding my own dark castle
Only darkness, even where the sun shines
People are depressed and sit inside 24/7

Human society makes me lock myself in a tower
Somewhere faraway from all the do's and don'ts
Where there's no trouble or disturbance
I can just hang around and do nothing

There will be no thoughts
Crawling into me
Catching my mind of guard
Taking in all of my space

I will just sit alone
On my own little planet
Surrounded by screaming and singing
I won't hear a thing

People will try to contact me
My giant bubble will keep them out
I don't want any disturbance
Just some quiet time after centuries of noise

It can be anywhere in the world
I haven't found it
But I will keep searching the rest of mt living days
Until i find a spot where I can be me

739693  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-27
Written: (6672 days ago)

Ashbar was looking for breakfast. He’d found a couple of innoscent rabbits. He cooked them and sat down next to a little creek, which the water came from The Springs. He looked at the water and discovered soem blood dripling from his forehead. He touched it and felt a rush of pain going through his body. “What is this,” he thought to himself. He looked closer and hang over the edge with his feet grapping a tree-stump to look at his face. With his nose he almost touched the water. He lost his grip on the stump and fell in the water. Underwater he was scared, he couldn’t see or hear anything. Suddenly something appeared in the distance and it was coming towards him! It had long strais of hair, a tail and it was gliding. Gliding through the water. He heard a sound: “Are you okey? So you need help?” It was a soft and calming sound. Its face became clearer. Ashbar looked at the eyes, which were shining such a bright, white light that he had to close his eyes. He looked for a second and he saw the face coming nearer and nearer, the bright light was still there and he closed his eyes again. When he opened his eyes, he was sitting on grass again. He looked at the water and saw some bubbles. “What was that?” he thought to himself. He looked closer to the water and touched it with his hand. “Just water...That’s what I thought,” he said out loud. “Just water? You call that just water?” a voice sad behind Ashbar. Ashbar turned around and looked into a same face and eyes that he has seen in the water. “Who are you? And, not to be rude, what are you?” Ashbar asked gently, he didn’t want to assault the stranger. “I’m a Cheele. We can live in the water and on the land. We scare of our enemies with the white light from our eyes, but I guess you already guessed something like that?” Ashbar felt his jar drop. “From this I take that you never heard of us...” Ashbar nodded. “We don’t show ourselves that easily. We only show ourselves if we must.” Ashbar kept on nodding. Suddenly he realised he probably was looking stupid and stopped. “But why do you show yourself to me than? Is something happened?” The Cheele looked at down at the ground and than turned to the water.

728154  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-06
Written: (6693 days ago)

The second part of teh story


When Alice returned to her home she went straight to her grandmother, Oeroe, the town-eldest. “Oeroe, Oeroe! I need your help!” Oeroe raized from her chair: “What is it my child? You can tell me.” Oeroe looket at her granddaughter with a little smile. “Oeroe, I saw The Beast! I spoke with it!” The smile on Oeroe’s face faded: “What do you say, my dear? You saw the beast...How can you speak with it? It doesn’t exist. It’s a story to keep the childeren out the forest. I don’t think it was what you saw or heard. Maybe it was Celdric, he always bullies you. It couldn’t be true, dearest.” Alice stood there and watched her grandmother go into her cabin. “Maybe you don’t believe me, but I really saw him,” she thought to herself. Alice turned her face to the forest and glazed over the tree tops. She saw trees wiggling far to the north. She to her right and saw her father coming towards her. “My child. Where were you all day? We were looking for you.” “I was in the forest and saw...Uhmm...The birds and butterflies. I followed them and when I looked I was far away from here. It was a long way back.” “Good to have you back, your little sister was getting worried. You know how she is. You get away 2 minutes and we have to look for you.” Her father took her by the shoulders and greeted her with a kiss on the forehead: “Come my child. Let’s get you to your sister.” He laid his hands on her shoulders and so they walked across a bridge towards their cabine.

“Whele wele you missy? You welen’t hele to play with me and Aliéne.” “I was taking a walk outside. But Ariéne was here to play with you, that’s okey too, wasn’t it?” “No, I wanted to play with you!” Alice took her little sister in her arms and hugged her: “Tomorrow we will play together okey? Are there still no teeth coming through?” “No, I don’t know why it’s taking so long. I hope it’s leady befole I’ll be so old as you. I don’t want to talk like this when I’m old.” “Am I old?” Alice laughed and began to tickle her sister. Her sister looked like a real little girl. She had blonde hair and dark brown eyes, just like Alice. She was only 6 years old and she saw her sister like her mother, since her mother had disappeared a few years ago. “Stop, Stop...Stop Alice...You make me laugh!” “That’s the whole point of it, Glory! That’s what makes it fun!”

While Alice and Glory were tickling each other someone far away from them was not having so much fun.

657782  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-09-01
Written: (6820 days ago)

My life's speeding away
Underneath my soul
Can't a grip
It's just fading away
It keeps moving away
I can't get a hold
Why can't I just
Have a break
Have a moment of peace
A moment to overlook my life

633242  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-07-27
Written: (6856 days ago)

I'll be back here the 10th...maybe earlier...but that depends on if we can find internet...:S
Well..
Goodbye to you all...and see you in 2 weeks...

597314  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-06-13
Written: (6900 days ago)

The description down here is one from a story from my friend [Melocrie]:
Name Fixien Helybell
Gender Female
Race Halfling
Rank Child of Ilma horse guider
Face/Eyes/Hair Cute face, Blue eyes, Shining Brown hair
Personality Happy, carring, peaceful, quiet, brave and true, loyal, hopeful
Weapon(s) Short sword
Carries Purple Ilma stone, Horseflute, Gemini Amulet
Special Abilities Can talk to Animals
Place of Living Fadehan, Nightingale Valley
Likes Horses, Sunlight, peace and quiet, sound of the wind and water, birds
Dislikes night, destruction, pain, chaos, suffering, evilness, heartless, fights
Reason of Chosen-one Her ability of talking to animals. And she can take care of everyone patiently.

589672  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-03
Written: (6910 days ago)

<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/12421_1108067502.jpg>
My mermaid
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/12421_1107257895.jpg>
My princes: Gabriël
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/12421_1105705843.jpg>
My mermaid-thing with very muchos hair!!
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/12421_1108067108.jpg>
This one is hanging in my room, drawn it on a late night...

580969  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-05-23
Written: (6921 days ago)

Me=you, you=me

My life is yours, yours is mine
So when I die, you'll die
When you die, I'll die
When I cry, you'll cry
When you leave, I'll leave
When I scream, you'll scream
But what happens
When we both survive?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magical hand

A pen in my hand
Like bottled magic
It keep writing
For ever and ever on

Like a wand
A beautiful magic
I'll keep writing
For ever and ever on


580702  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-05-23
Written: (6921 days ago)


Everyone is quiet
Everyone is staring
They keep looking at me

Why can't they look away?
Why do they keep staring?
Why do they not speak?

I look around
And I see that
Everyone is gone

580120  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-05-22
Written: (6922 days ago)

The wind

Leaving my shit behind
Flying like an eagle
Floating with the wind

In my own little place
I won a battle
I lost a race

The clocks ticks
My time comes....

578982  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-05-20
Written: (6924 days ago)

Thrashing other lifes


Which is your doom
Is my faith
I just have to bleed
And wait


Seeing my life go by
In a flash
I remember
It's not my life I trash


My life ends here
Although yours may not
My end is very clear
Yours are strangled in one big knot


I'll leave this world
before or at my time
Leaving you live here
Thrashing yours, not mine


Even when I remember
Who love me
Who need me
I'll just let myself free


Unlocking my soul
In a neverending space
Just letting me floot around
Never saying the phrase


"I miss you all so much"
I won't say it
I won't miss you at all
Not even just a little bit

547162  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-04-10
Written: (6964 days ago)

Never sleep Never die
It's easy to say
When you don't have to try
~
When you took an easy way
~
Never speak Never walk
Don't do a thing
Don't you dare to talk
~
Think about nothing
~
Never drink Never eat
Don't let yourself die
Before we meet
~
Don't you even try
~
Never stand Never go
Don't leave yourself
Don't let your blood flow
~
Don't go yourself
~
Never laugh Never smile
Just wait
It could take a while
~
Opening my gate
~
Never hate Never love
There's someone
Who will deserve your love
~
I still hope I'll be that one
~

547158  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-04-10
Written: (6964 days ago)

Regen
Tranen op mijn wang
Onweer
Tranen in mijn huis


Winter
Kou in mijn kamer
Zomer
Kou in mijn huis

Overdag
Donker in mijn hoofd
's Nachts
Donker in mijn ziel


Ijs
Overal en nergens
Water
Overal om mij heen


Leven
In mijn lichaam
Dood
In mijn ziel

507645  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-27
Written: (7006 days ago)

I'm being busy with this really big project, you can call it but it isn't like that...
It's taking all my time, and i don't even like doing it!!! I hate it....:SNot so good of me...:S

485140  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-01
Written: (7032 days ago)

I thought by myself...Let's write in this again...It's been that long! Last year in march I wrote it...I jus finished my biolgie test....It was a to do thing...With unions and potatoes...Really, I thought it was interesting....Not realy, but I understood it and so I hope that I managed to get a good grade...
We still got 3 tests to do but then Friday we have a party at school, for carneval! Jeej! It has got to be funny! And then 4 days of party....Looking forward to it, why I don't know:P Aw well....We gt vacation too, so that's good...
Let's see what can I write more...
Oh yeah! I'm trying to upload some pics on elfwood...It doen't go that quick...it takes for ever! 2 weeks almost....Well...Patience is good, right....When you can manage your patience, which I can't! I want the online!
I go and check how many tickets there are still before me...

176315  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-03-24
Written: (7346 days ago)

HI! I'm on school...And I'm bored! Me and my friend are sitting next to eachother and chatting trough ET and Email...:P

155962  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-03-01
Written: (7369 days ago)

Today was my first day after the break....it was so much fun...NOT! My life is at the moment a bit negatie...My grades aren't that good(they suck!)...my parents are angry with me because i don't study enough...my boyfriend lives too far away(an hour:-P)...we got lot of tests coming up...more things that i can't think of right now...
I'd better shold go started with studying...i'm going to make music today! YAY! the only thing that is good!

119078  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-12-31
Written: (7430 days ago)

I got my last christmas present today! A very nice(:P) shirt from nightwish...i wanted that shirt s much that i said it wouldn't matter if it came too late for christmas...I wanted this shirt for a long time!

92627  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2003-11-01
Written: (7490 days ago)

My grandad which died in February has is birthday tomorrow...i dont know if i like that, hanging around with whole my family(including my aunt and her daughter from germany...blegh)and looking at his grave...i dont feel happy at all with that! aw...well...ghe was a good man, i just dont like the rest of my family(not everyone)...

Further there isnt something new happening...ecxept school but thats not new...

78452  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2003-10-02
Written: (7520 days ago)

i had a really bad day yesterday...i didnt even want to go to my guitarlesson! but it was just a to bad day!
we had the 3 last hours just teribble lessons: German, Ecenomic and History! we were all very sleepy at the end of teh day! and than i than by the time I had to go to my lesson it started to rain! how dare they?!?!?! i was just pissed at everything!


oh...yeah you should check out www.douglaz.tk, it is in dutch but who cares???(everybody who isn't dutch! :D:D)The blonde guy(Skilla, Fabian) is just very sweet, cute and pretty good-looking...he's 16!~!!!!!! and he looks like 12...my classmates said that! *snifsnif*


that was today! and yesterday! :D;D

 The logged in version 

News about Elftown
Help - How does Elftown work?
Get $10 worth of Bitcoin/Ethereum for free (you have to buy cryptos for $100 to get it) and support Elftown!
 
Elftown – the social site made for fans of scifi and fantasy

Visit our facebook page