Man do I barely write on this site. I don't write enough period. Anyways though I have come to a turning point in my life. I realize this as I'm staying awake writing at 4am...ohhh make that 420am..lol. Alot has happened in the last 2 weeks that I can't even begin to go into detail. Let's just say it involved my friend's out of control drinking. I've known for a while he has had a problem, but I just learned how serious it is. He was in jail 3 times for drunk in public in a span of a week. He attacked and threatened my life for the first time. I had to hit my best friend for the first time as well, but even though he attacked me I only hit him once to put him down. After that I simply called the cops. His girl friend then broke up with him. After that he went more out of contol and was on the verge of losing everything, but he agreed to get help. At this moment he is at a detox center and his girl decided to take him back under the condition that he sticks with the help and not drink again. He actually wants to stop drinking which is a first. He's allways tried to quit, but it's always been for other people and not himself. Now that he wants to do it for himself and go to AA, I believe he can do it. Seeing him go through this I've come to realize my own addiction, but I also see it as less serious. I'm talking about weed. Who ever says its not an addicting drug should be shot. I get frustrated when I don't have it. I become very irritable and take it out on everyone around me. I have also become lazy to a point where I see laziness taking effort. All this changes now. My friend is stepping up and changing himself for the better and I will as well. Six months from now I will be either completely off weed or smoking drastically less. I will be in good physical shape, I will be healthier, and I will treat these goals with the same stone cold detirmination I treated college with. I truly believe that while not everything in life is under our control, a good majority of it is and that if we are detirmined to change it nothing can stop us. Are you living the life you want?

Inner Thoughts of a Deranged Mind:

I'm not a normal person and I don't pretend to be. I have obvious flaws as everyone does. I have certain thoughts and beliefs that are my own. I don't usually share my thoughts, but there's just so much I want to say. I'm not used to writing personal things, so bare with me.

I was having trouble thinking about my first topic to write about, but then I got a phone call a minute ago. A voice I have not heard in a while, a voice I did not care to hear, my Aunt Kathleen A.K.A. Psycho Bitch. Don't get me wrong I love my family, but it's hard to think of this woman as such. To say she was manipulative is an understatement. This is a woman who has had somewhere around 6 divorces and few lawsuits that resulted in her financial gain. There's not enough time in this day let alone this week to write about all the fucked up things she has done.
  One of the more recent "plesent inncounters" involved her leaving out to work one morning. She lived with us at the time in one of the basement rooms. She was not a easy person to get along with. Well I guess she was a little pissed at us this paticular morning. She left to work with the backdoor open with garbage spread out all over the place, like she was actually trying to lure a bear into our house. She knew the bears love to get into our trash she purposely did this at 4 AM while all of us were asleep.
  At this time your probably finding this hard to believe, but if you knew her, you wouldn't put it past her. Did I mention she threatened to kill us all? I know everyone has their crazy Aunt in the family, but it might be a little hard to top my Aunt Psycho Bitch.
  End the end though her I am on the phone with her talking nice and saying goodbye like a normal person and I'm asking myself, "why?"

I pitty the poor soul who has her for a Valentine this evening.