Im so desperetly lonely.
I want someone to love me.
The only ones that love me are in my head.
Im not talking about family; im talking about a actual relationship.
I want to love someone but everyone fucking hates me outside blood relitives.
Im so scared and cold. I cut myself all over and carved names in my flesh. Lies and filth. Fuck me and make me smile for once.

If you want photos of me naked ask me. I will send without second thort. Im so desperate for affection and someone to just love me for a moment. Please; someone.
Male prefered.
Im so desperate tho that if your female i dont care either.
If you find me then you can do anything (and i do anything to you) that you want. I just want to feel warmth on me instead of this freezing lonelyness all over me.

Help me.

EHHH bring me your beans..
Im gona keep updateing this and so ppl on DA can see what Im up toooooo >u>.... hur hur
I HAVE GOT MENORRHAGIA... YAY.. fuck you
T_T I have to takes druuuuggsss they ish yummys...they taste like rat poisen 83
I love pie

Ok..I know I havent used my diary for like years but I will now coz Im bored..-_-... yep..
Im at school and I finished my work and our teacher said I could go on the computer and don whatever.. so yeah.. BLEH..:D..
Bored bored bored bored bored.....
i would tell you the news but I dont know any.. woot...
Been listening to Enter Shikari (which i cant spell) like a munchkin all day... and drew some pics that im not going to show anyone... and I ate a biscuit...8D...
Ben got pwned by a box of tissues too that Frankie threw at him which was indeed very funny..
Faith wrote the MOST amAzING POEM EVER! it just rocks so much,,, its so funky and I might some how make something of it on DeviantART YEAH...James in next to me looking up stuff on MSN.. TYPE SOME THING JAMES!!:
angelpie
indeed,,,,
Thats the news for now and IM gona go eat some foo now.. ~BYE

do do do dom dododd dod kd ikd od od od od od... bleh

I BROKE MY FUCKING TOE...
and the hosptial smeels funny... at least Im missing school.. HA!

meh.. Havent wrote in my diary for a while.. well screw it... Im getting tied up in this stuff... feel like I being wieghed down and so busy trying to get stuff done Im forgeting to be happy.. which SUCKS...
OH and anouther thing.. Grievous Fans!?.. were getting so rare now.. and now that *Riech gone and given up... were becoming detached... People who would draw him all the time like me have gone and forgotten there like of our kaleesh war lord! I keep thinking there traitors... Growl... and Im like one of bout 10 loyal all time fans... and its miserable coz I know as time goes by (its been 2 years now) people will more and more give up on him... makes me cry a little inside really...
If your a Grievous fan then fucking tell me... I need some cheering up... Couldnt sleep last night coz I was so ill.. and my love is never around now... got something ill or sumthin... ;_;...
I feel like a box of cakes.. the cakes look nice on the paket but there mouldy inside...
I love cakes...-_-...
OH YER.. and how about not talking to me about sad stuff?... try cheering me UP... before I eat my foot...

ok.. I havent wrote shit in my diary for freaking ages..9_9.. IVE BEEN BUSY!><... Faiths turning into a freaking slave driver.. grr.. anyway.. I believe Im going away to my nans and grandads in norfolk so Im not gona bee here... but believe me.. when I get back I will have lots to say and pictures to throw at you..mwhahaha... cough... anyway.. my DA account thingy will be totally updated coz I MUST... lol.. yes.. and Ill join some groups and stuff art all over it and throw comments on lods of peoples work... Im kinda neglecting my elfwood account though.. but I very quikly got sick of it coz you have to wait like 4 years to put a picture up so I kinda go niffed of by that.. and the fact you cant swear AT ALL on it.. and if you do you get suspened.. which just sucks ass coz you do it by axident sometimes and YOU CANT HELP IT!><... oh well... anyways... acording to Julia, we are going to be drawing a FREAKING THIRD SERIES of DMTP... (thats as in 3 different box sets as we call them.. its a seies about some perticular thing.. the one I work on is the one with Greevuz and GiGi and stuff... and theres anouther one with other stuff Im not gona say coz IM SWORN TO SECRECY!... meh..:P.. + my series is about 18b12c now..:D... yay^^ ) and we gona have to work frigen hard like crazy to get it done all for 2013...:P.. ONLY 6 YEARS LEFT! D8!!! oh well.. thats long enouth really..:).. gota go now.. see you freaks later!
KillKT.. and GiGi^<
+ Grievous got eaten in the 18th series..08!... yep.. they ate HIM! ... well.. they all got stuck on a desert planet coz the shuttle crashed and first GiG,Nerenfer, Zupakada,Nivity,Hericula and Gere ate the dead people who died in the crash ( they buried them first but Gere dug them up after thinking there was food buried there out of stavation...yuck..).. then started eating the remaining live humans.. then Grievous picked a fight with Nerenfer and Nerenfer just punched him and ripped him open and the rest of them sore it and it was like hyenas XP... they ripped him to bits and ate the organic parts... eww... very gorey really... I was kinda upset Faith wanted to kill him off but oh well.. GiGi brings him back from the dead again so doesnt really matter..:P..MEH.. now Ive told you alot of it so GO AWAY!^^.. bye then.. lol
*cough...*XD

ok.. ddue to the fact I axidently (YEAH LIKE!) broke this bithcs finger at school by slamming it in a door.... (looks inicent ...) I got banned from the internet and am useing this like 5 mins to tell you I wont get the internet back till wesnesday I believe... yeah.. SORRY!.. oh well.. I stole the cables to my computer back while mum was gone.. he he he

sorry you FOOLS.. but some one very nice went and got me this already...^^... ha... thanks Leon! *big hug* wait til the next time to get my happyness :P

what I am scared off... its under the bed.. I HATE IT!! I WILL HIT IT WITH MY MIGHTY SLIPPER OF DEATH AND MISERY!! *screams and throws muffins everywhere*

ok.. offically pissed off now... my internet completely killed its self last night while i was on her and I was like ' YOU MOTHER FUCKER!! WHY DO YOU NOT WORK!!!!???? IS IT COZ YOUR GAY!!?? IS IT COZ YOUR A BASTERD!!! IS IT COZ YOUR A BIG FAT MONKEY!!!??? *growl*... Eko en doorel dil hasi! Jek uor oting tub vie gerr stick!!! *screams more kaleesh at bt home hub then sits on floor growling and grumbling*

omg...I am so scared to death... Ill tell you why later but I have to go... omg... *hides somewhere*

ok.. my internet keeps attacking me.. (due to evil BT home hub thing) and so I will suddonly disaapear sometimes.. ok? dont balme me.. balme the accursed people of BT!!!!! and blame those horid Huk dudes... we need to blame them some more... stupid evil insect people!!! ><!!! * if you know about da huk wars then youll get what this is about.... poor Grievy... ;_;* anyway... so thats whats happened... and its anoying too... so now I will draw alot more.. BUT.. do you know what!? my fat ass of a scanner decided it would play up and not work for some reason... stupid technological crap!!! *growls* great.. i cant do anything can I ?? and I have a feeling my internet is going to shut down in a second so Ill post this before it does ok?

YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! i got a new scaner!!! (my old one got thrown out the window....;P) and now i no longer have to take crappy little photos with crap qulity!!!! I CAN ATTACK PEOPLE WITH FULL COLER AND QUILTY AND ALSO ITS THE RIGHT WAY ROUND TOOOOOOOO!!!!(when you use a camera the image gets flipped round! ><!)
I hope every one else has had a great christmas!!! + seeing as i have no idea how to use my scanner yet I will put up the christmas picture tomoz ok?.. if I can get my scanner to actually work...:P I also got loads of other prezzies including a red Ipod with a personal inskripton on the back!!!!^,^!!!! and I got a new phone! yay! (my old phone is.... well lets say I deystoyed it and leave it at that hmmmm?) and I got loads of dragon stuff! and CHOCOLATE!!! weeee! yay! will put up some storys of christmas later... but I WANTA WATCH AKIRA THE COMPLETE COLLECTORS EDDION FIRST!!!!!! MAWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ok.. I decided to add EVEN more to my diary! mawhahahahaha... ok... now I am going to rave now at harry potter...
Harry Potter looks wierd now...
OMG! i sore da trailer for The oreder of the phaenix and Im like : WHAT DA FUCK DID HE DO TO HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!????? If you dont get what i mean the watch da trailer:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/harrypotterandtheorderofthephoenix/large.html
HE TOTALLY MADE HIS HAIR FREAKY!!!!! he cut it all weird! Im scared!!! it was nice and soft looking before, now its all got gell in it!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! his hair was nice!!! now its not!! and he kisses her!!!! noooooooooo!!! my dreams !!! in tatters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nnnoooooooooobnnnnnoonoonong hjfgiohgjfid hjgf igifo......... ok.... Im calming down a bit..:P......... no.... Im not..... NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is horrible!!! HORRRIIIIDDDDDD!!!!!! nnnnooooooooooooo!!!!!....... arh crap... I liked those movies so much... well not as much as CWs or LotR or SW or Predator or Alien or Red Planet or Signs or FFTSW or SGPM or Karas or DH or .... wait... no.. it goes there... I loved HP and TPOA... that was my faverate ever... even though HP TGOF had da Dragon in it... I just liked Serios and his dog form and OOOHHHHHH!! WEREWOLFYYEE!!!!! yay! .......... well actually the werewolf did look kinda gangaly... but it was still cool... hmmm.. does anyone rember that film with a Huge Werewolf attacking a big Vampire thing?..... wasnt it called VanHellsing or something? I loved that flim! but my bro lent it to a freind and I never sore it again!!!! *weep* I likey werewolfy... he was big and scary looking!!!! I WANT IT!!!!! NIEEEEEEE!!!!.... eh... Im just bored now..-_-.. i have to tidy my room... BUT DONT WANT TA!!!! nie... oh well... i can tidy while listening to some music right?........... yeah...:P.. ok.. ill proberble scream and rve some more later so yeyayay

ok.. I really need to add some more stuff to my diary...:P... so here ya go... at the moment I just finished a pic of me holding Greevuz's cape.. and now I really want his cappe!! IT LOOKS SO SOFT AND NICE!!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!! I mean... look at Revenge of the sith again and look at his cape thingy and youll be like.. WOW! I wwant that too now.. IT DOES LOOK SOFT AND NICE!!!! so there... I want his cape and Ill get it of Necrosis some how...... hmm... the Magna gaurds would be so easyer to steal off of... but there ones have all holes and dried blood and stuff..-_-... Ill proberble update this later but Im gona watch Grievous monologing some more then try to draw me in his cape...:P
UPDATE!!!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
ok... as I was saying ... LOOK! his cape is so soft and cool! give me it now... and I noticed it is double uilted... its got a red lining!!!! my faverate coler.... :P.... ok... im running out of things to say about his cape...-_-... err.. did you notice it changes coler? if ya look at it closly sometimes its white ( when he is on da ships main frame outside and when he gets inta the escape pods....... I wathced those bits so many times to notice that....) somties its dark grey ( alot of the time actually....-_-) and then its that weird dark green like normal...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I want it now... and I have a feeling they actually made it somewhere... I must findout if you can buy it on ebay...:P... ok.. thats my diary entry for the next .. ages... so now go wathc SWIII and stare at Greevuz and his mighty cape!!! MAWHAHAHAHA!!

OMG!! helen the baby fox! arrrrrrrrr.... I love japanese films! I know you people proberble cant understand japanese but you can still see helen! shes so sweet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW5Ohi0_MM8
Its about a boy who had his parents divorced and coz the fox has lost its parents he can relate to it ( ' me and you are both two halfs, but together we make a whole...' MOST ADORABLE LINE EVER!!! *thats when hes talking to the fox*)and so he loves the little fox... its so cute... + the fox is a bit blind and deaf... which is even more cute and heart renching! *WEEEEEPPPPP!!* and at the end the little fox finds his mummy again and the little boy gets his mum and dad together again! YAY! happy endings! :')

I tried to sign up a freind today.. dono if it actually worked but EVE?? IF YOUR READING THIS!!! YAY!! your on this now toooooooooo!! WOOOOTT!!!! and sorry about da Eragon thing.. i forgot you were going on NEXT friday but the films fucking awsome so dats ok...^< CYA... and to every one else.... YAY! ERAGON!!! *bows down to its almighty power*

for peaple who dont know, recently Specalls (she was my very cute pet gerbil and freind who though maybe wasnt understanding the words of pain and misery and happyness I told her, she listened and that made her more special then anything else in the world to me....) she past away... and I cry and weep for her and for what will happen now... I just burst into tears and this song id so buetiful and dedicated to her....:
by Death Cab for Cutie

I will follow you into the dark......
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark


go to this and weep with me....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s2hPkTT1lA&NR
should I put a link to that? no.. dont want to.. sorry

ok... Im not going to be here this weekend ok? Im in norfolk.... Ill see you freaks when i get back.... dont send me a million mesages coz I wont anser them all coz Im a lazy git .. mawhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah..... he he he..
ok... so far i have like a thousand comys that I need to put up and will when I get back... nie

GG forms... yay... though i would list them down before i forget...:P

GG *himself you nikompoop...:P... he HAS WINGS! woooot!*
GG wolf!!! *YAY!! just a wolf but bigger and more mucley... and BIG TEETH AND FEET... (note, all of GGs forms are normally eiter white and blue or black and blue....and he always has Death black eyes with yellow pupils... and normaly has kaleesh war paint on them... yay...and ALWAYS has bigger feet with normaly his blue design on it^^*
GG Anthro Wolf *its more human (stands on two legs and has cool dexturios hands... and sometimes has belts and stuff on...yay*
GG Wing Wolf Gigaldrein (said Gig-al-dree-on)* a more or less wolf but with wings and has gems and crystals in his fur and has like feathers maining him and long wisps of fur... cool...^^*
GG Horse *a big stalion , white and blue with silver and gold mane tail and feathers (the fluffy bit on a horses foot for you non-horse peaple) yay!^^!*
GG Alicorn Feeka *Horse horns and wings and has cool tail... yay...*
GG Unicorn * exactly what it says...:P*
GG Unicornical anthro * humany (like the wolf one) with cool gems and stuff on it... yay...*
GG bird *a black bird... bleh...*
GG Egaletrion ( said eagal-tree-on) big bird with cool head and funky tail ... neat*
GG Crow *a big black crow like raveny thing... yay*
GG Dragon Dracodious (said Draco-dee-ouis) massive emperial dragon with all gems and stuff and is just really cool...^^*
GG the gerbil!!....*ok.... I know... nothing spectacular but i like gerbils so shut it....:P*
GG Cogasuit * GG in a huge machine suit that has loads of guns and stuff... yay...he only uses it once though...how bland...:P*
GG BABY FORM!!!!* OMG!! its is so cute... yay..*
GG Plesiodon (said Pler-sigh-o-don) *very big pleisiasuar like creatre... lives in water and stuff.... yay*
GG misery form....*I wont say coz GG looks SO evil in his misery form and I will proberbly put up a picture of it soon... yay^^*
*UPDATE* GG squirell form*...finished it at school... yay*
ok.. thats a couple I can think of... theres proberbly more but I cant think of them... im a bit dim... yay... please send me suggestions for new one!! PLEASE!!!!^^!! and if its really good I will draw it in full for you... yay...:P

Im am really crapy... Im at school and I feel so shity... i wrote this... look at it and be content....
Misery, unedited beyond the yearnings of mankind…the feeling of a great sorrow some creature locked away deep inside, ever waiting to be free and happy. It feeds on blood and vengeance and grows ever more resentful and distraught while the sadness flows. Its glints of Ivory, like shining stars in the darkness… there it shall lay… bound by its grief… under the fading trees of a unbroken winter… this is what lies in all of us…in some the creature is sniggering and smiling, in others it gloats gleefully…. But in me, it eats away at me… bite by bite, it is destroying me. I lie here… I listen to the cries of my soul and feel the ache of the pain in my heart. And I dream of the day the creature will finally crunch there face in its jaws… how can it help me? By eating the bad parts… to control its feeding and watch it protect me from others. It can be good… yes, it can. It can make other feelings go away and can help you to forget the disturbing thoughts… yet it still is there… biting, nibbling away. It will always be there, I believe. For it is now part of me. The parts it has gorged on, it has replaced. And now here I stand because of it. Because of it I am still here… and until it lets me go it will always be here. Deep inside. Glowing eyes and broken claws and the glints of Ivory.