[NightCat15]'s diary

708421  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-12-01
Written: (6931 days ago)

You know what, if I had a dollar for every time I got screwed over by some dickheaded asshole of a guy I would be the richest fuckling bitch in the whole galaxy. And I'm not kidding. Every time I turn around some guy is trying to get with me to hurt me, use me or just fuck me and I'm tired of it. I've been used to get to my friends, to just make me cry and for sex. I hate this life and I wish I were in another place. Better than here and away from all the pain in the world. All guys want to cause me pain and I wish they would all just leave me alone. If they aren't going to be nice to me then they can just keep their distance. And everyguy that is nice to me all they want is for me to a sister or a friend...nothing more. What! Am I to ugly!!!! Fat!!! What!!!! I wish they would just see who I am really and stop trying to judge me!!!! And I hate it when people judge me for what I am on the outside. I'm actually a very loving person and caring and nice and sweet. But people just push my buttons the wrong way and I get pissed and lash out. Like my new "brother" Tai, he continues to ask me what is wrong and what is wrong and when I tell him he gets all mad and stuff. I love him to death but sometimes he just asks questions he doesn't want answered with the truth but asks for the truth and when I give it to him he gets mad and doesn't talk to me! I wish him no ill harm and if you touch him I will personally come to you and kill you so don't get any cute ideas. He's my "little brother" and I will prtoect him with every thing I have. And if you mess with his girlfirned...well she will kill you herself. So, I don't need to defend her but don't mess with her any way because I will help her. They are my family and they are part of the only family I have truly and I will not lose them. My friends are the most important things to me and I will never, ever let one come to harm if I can help it. And if they do then I will go after the person who hurt them. Well, just having a bad day and I love all of you guys out there who haven't ticked me off yet.

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