WELL THIS IS IT...
ALASKA MAY 15TH
GETTING MARRIED AFTER OR BEFORE THE BALL. NOT SURE YET. BUT DAMN EXCITED!
GETTING OUR HOUSE OFFBASE, MOST LIKELY.
ATTEMPT TO GET MY CAR SENT TO ALASKA.
BABY SHOWER.
HAVE ALOT OF FUCKING FUN!

WISH US LUCK!

XOXO

it can be the littlest things someone does, that hurt the most.

update:
Michael got his airborne contract, he will be going to Alaska after that, dont know the exact date, but we are getting an apartment there. Im so excited!!! except alaska is so incredibly cold! But I dont care where we end up together, as long as we are together, I love you so much My Love! It was so good to hear from you today!

things are perfect..

EVERYTHING IS SO PERFECT!

My Love just went to his new barracks friday. so I got the last phone call before he left. We talked everyday for a short while, its been about 3 weeks. Staying strong. He's able to write letters starting friday, so I should recieve one within the week, Im keeping a journal for him, I know that sounds silly..but its of everyday without him, he was excited about it, and cant wait to read about my horrid days! haha! Im so glad he trusts me, theres not a better feeling in the world than that. 
He's told me some crazy stuff that's happened already, He's terribly sick though. I feel horrid that he has to be put through all that while being sick T.T 

He's my hero

"Courtney, Im coming back for you, I promise. I love you"

/melts
I love you to hun

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!!
I have tons of gifts for you when you return!

scratchhouse: hey babe?.
Warfox Snowolf: yes
scratchhouse: Im really proud of you..T.T
Warfox Snowolf: thank you T.T
Warfox Snowolf: this is so rough, im not sure how im going to do this i need you
Warfox Snowolf: i hope god gives me the strength to get through this
scratchhouse: T.T I know Babe. we can do this though. I'll always be here for you.
Warfox Snowolf: i hope so
Warfox Snowolf: im coming back for you
Warfox Snowolf: stay strong
scratchhouse: I'll be waiting Hun.
scratchhouse: I love you
Warfox Snowolf: I love you too
Warfox Snowolf is typing a message.

the days before my fiance' left, we decided to have a child...
everynight we'd have sex, over and over again.
he would cum inside me everytime, not wasting any of it! 

we want tobe blessed with a child more than anything else. we've tryed before..but not like this time. and I know Im pregnant now...Start raising a family together real soon babe.

[dead~spirit] Michael and I are getting married in 6 months!!! when he returns!! I couldnt be more happier!!! im so excited!!!! we're moving out when he gets back, and going to raise our child together!! 
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!!!

Thinking of you, where ever you are. We pray for our sorrows to end so that one day our hearts could blend, i now realize this wish...

its funny how you do things so its not how it seems to everyone else...you tell people one thing and do another with me...

LOL

twas a joy. yes.

I dont have anyone over
i didnt get tuesday off.
ill see you monday
i love you
and yes ill take you back
i love you too

good way NEVER to log into elftown again.... so its like i deleted my account... hit the keyboard a few times. copy and paste. save changes...ta da!

thats what Im going to do..

BYE! ^.^

that just makes me sick...

he breaks hearts when hes mad...

so theres this boy....

probably because you agreed to go with me. it wouldnt mean a damn thing if youw werent there. AND considering your supposed to write it...you SHOULD be there..

I havnt moved.

 Getting my design back for my tattoo, hopefully. then tomorrow im getting it. 
so tonight will be cool, Gma is coming over, hopefully Im here to see her before she leaves, since I have work...>.<
my dad and I seem to be pretty close lately, I feel like I can actually talk to him, because he understand it all. we rented a bunch of movies from the library we'll probably watch one tonight. I dont want to stay up late anymore. Im going back to getting up early all the time. I like it better that way. I dont miss to much, I hate sleeping still. I just do it alot to pass the time. between the morning and work. But Linda has started her yoga classes. so I might join. its only an hour class. right down my street. 15 a session I think it was. it'll be worth it. 

I feel like my family has gotten closer for some reason. besides Katelynn of course. my parents started going out together again, on dates even! like lastnight they went out. and tonight they are going out with Gma. 

issues:
- the pregnancy is an issue. And Im scared, because who knows whats going to happen..>.< I know Im going to keep it, abortion is NOT an option. Im just scared to do it alone, he'll be in the army...what am I supposed to do? I had this thought on my mind for the past 2 days. and it still lingers. I used to be all excited about it and everything, but its just scary now that...eh. It'll be a blessing no matter the situation. IM SO WORRIED!! T.T

- starving. Im back to that. i dont want to eat, because im depressed, and I cant eat because i feel sick...well DUH I FEEL SICK because im not eating!! I cant get out of this trend. but it usually passes after a week or so.

- Sleep deprived. I havnt been sleeping I lie awake and stare at the ceiling I dont even recall anything ever being on my mind except "omg Im so tired. but I cant sleep argg" fustration!!


- money. yes always and forever money will be an issue with me. buying a tattoo for the purpose of prooving something, that may or may not have an effect...not enough money for my stupid ass expensive car! why did i have to get a nice car?!?! uggh. damn me spending my check on stupid shit that I didnt need. but only bought to make him smile, show I care. and then bought clothes. i spent 20$ on 2 tickets to see a movie. thats outrageous. but it doesnt bother me...I dont care that im spending the money on my lover, or to take us out to have fun...it sucks afterwards when im like...shit i need gas..ehh

i havnt done shit.

forget me saying I feel better.  I guess Im having a bad day today...ugh

work today...nothing before that. nothing after that. been talking my head off though! haha. 

my dog ate a WHOLE CORD to a lamp...what the hell?!? so she's in her cage. and shes a Beagle so she squeel howl bark wimpers. all in one. yes....annoying..VERY!
haha

I followed the rules. but it didnt help. im sorry.

I feel better.