why?

we all feel pain, and yet when we cry for help, for hope, it rarely comes. sure enough you're just like me, and I to you. we all have moments of despair, and others of ectasy. but why is it that no one comes to help them? is it ignorance of the problem? or the person not willing to listen? how come it seems like everyone puts up a wall just to keep safe when its really hurting themselves?

why? for some reason, in the middle of the school lunch hour, i began to cry as if the world was falling apart on me. i had no reason to cry, but i did. or almost. my friend saved me from my own tears before my other friends noticed. how can you explain this? well, im not dramatic about this, but i wanna know why.

sometimes the most important things we need to say are the hardest...

when a world ends for one person, it feels three fold for the other and multiplied by respnsability

what if i said i wanted to join another religion : wicca. would you stop me?

adoption. some people would be so scared to talk about it. why? well... today i found out more about my past, some which im dumbfound of. I found out im not really born here, i was born in vancouver. vancouver BC... im not sad about it, just felt odd how i thought it was in kelowna... then how i was actually in a foster home when i was first born.

fasincating about my bio isn't it? well you dont hafta read the rest you know. you didnt even need to read the bit as it is.

Then came tonight, where my parents said i might not even be able to see my biological parents. I thought why. they said it was because they might already have kids, or maybe a new spouse. how would they react to that? how would they accept me? how would they tell there family about me? that might be why i may never see them. its odd really, i wont know what happens until then. im not sad, and im not happy. this is my life. i like it. my parents gave me a home, im smiling.

1. What is your fear?

Spiders, big time. I used to hate as a child and still do. They're just...kreepy cant stand em. I'm also afraid of being alone. not like being in an empty room, like when no one cares bout me =P

2. what is your greatest talent, besides writing and drawing, if any?

*bursts out laughing* like i have ne? jk. i dunno, maybe playing the piano or the sax. but I'm no expert thats for sure
0_o someone told me to say this, not me! i'm not egotistic! they said i was a great friend and that should be on here... i dunno, you decide =P

3. What type of sports do you do?

Ummm...I never really got into sports... I usually get enough from my friends playing outside as it is. But i do go to Karate, does that count?

4. What's your fav. food?

Oh wouldn't you like to know! hehe, I LUV CHINESE FOOD!!!

5. What do you like in general?

Thats an easy one! ^^ i like writing, drawing, being with friends, and food. Lots of food.

6. Well what do you hate/dislike?

Lots of things. Rude people, homophobes, prejudice people. load noises, onions and my internet.

7. How did you get that name Sashu?

hehe... actually it was when i played this PS2 game...mortal combat i think. and i saw this character as a werewolf. when i clicked on the thing a voice said something that i think was "Sashu" so i found it to be neat ^^'

8. Whats your dream vacation?

This took me awhile to think about. i'd like to go to lotsa places! Puerto Rico would be on the top of the list. then...ummm... i dunno, maybe a road trip! that would be the best :D

posty things!



^_^ yay, my friend made this for me!


heres another one

deppression: an annoyence?

I try so hard to tell people advice, when they're down, or depressed. and i know they are going through a hard time, i do my best to cheer them up. but i dont get it, why do they try so hard to stay down? it's so easy to look on the darker side of things, and eventually they get deeper and deeper into depression. if they actually tried, almost barly try, to smile and be optimistic. im not saying to be mr/ms smily 24/7 but just to stop groping around. life just then might feel easier. maybe if they open up with their problems to other friends, they might get the comfort they really need. i'm always willing to listen, and i'll do everything to help you, i mean it. i try so hard to help... and i feel so ignored, so i hope this journal entry might help. i hope you, the reader, might see what i try to do...

as you can tell, my b-day was over due, so i'm making this diary entry to tell ya about it. even though i doubt any of you readers really care =P I got all my friend's to meet up at this irish restaurant (me like irish) and such. i only got books @_@ one was a manga called xxx holic, any1 ever read it? and the second one was a "how to" book for manga n drawings stuff...kinda cheap since two of them paid for the one item...i dunno if thats a hint to get better, or encouragment... then i got $20 for tim hortens :D lol more coffee for me! my paretns on the other hand have decided to help pay for my driving lessons, wont that just be scary?
my friend keeps on saying the waitress was hitting on me, so i am obligated to post this on here. i really am blind when someone flirts with me...lol she did call me cute though, made me blush to a whole new tone of red. and then she bought my dessert...i dunno...lol i sound egotistic but my friend told me to post this or she'll claw my eyes out ^^'

oh! wait! i found something to write about! even though it was 5 seconds after the last post. I REALLY wanna see what that manga "gravitation" is all about. i here its yaoi, so it caught my interest =P anyone else heard of it? or how about an easier question, anyone of you peoples acually READ manga? tell me if ya do ^^

I haven't used this diary for ages ya know... then again who'll read it? here's you routine:

Me: *writes diary*
You: *recieves notice of diary* "Look, he wrote something thing... ... ..." *deletes notice*
Me: *ignored*

It goes somewhat like that, right? lol

dodged the bullet!

We, me n my parents, ha the "talk" and i was placed as innocent! but i'm not limited to two hours a day... like they'll keep track when they're not home! HA! well i'm just happy my parents arn't murdering me...before the "talk" my friend offered me a knife for protection! A KNIFE!!! he thought it was gonna go that badly...

I might be done for soon! my dad found me on this wiki, GKG, and well... it stands for guys kissing guys. so now me n my parents are going 'to talk' and discus it. i'll just say i clicked on the wrong thing and left. but my friend, Josh, was laughing about my parents reaction. He said my dad will walk out with a rocket launcher in one hand and a shot gun in the other. he wears a red head band and army clothes. and a shirt that says "I hate homos". with 6 knives in each boot... sadly if he knew... i think he would 0_o