So this is another point in my lifes journey I wish I could pull a genie and cross my arms and blink it away. I'm still struggling with my finances, working a dead end retail job, living with a friend and his paranoid schizophrenic dad that think spy planes are watching the house. I have zero motivation. My graphic novel is at a standstill only because I can't bring myself to work on it. I spend my evenings drunk and watching the same old movies over as over, I can probably recite kung fu hustle verbatim at this point. Hopefully I'll be able to move back down to my home town in the next few months. But nothing is for sure yet. I do know I'll go crazy f I stay up here. I'll start wearing elaborate 1940's gowns, eat pencil shavings and refer to myself as lady Charlotte, mistress of freeze dried ice cream. Oh great will of the macrocosm please, give me a reset

Alot can change in a short amount of time. Its hard to keep up. The flow of things seems to be positve overall though. Guess ill just ride the current for now and see where i end up.

If it darkest before the dawn, wont someone please tell me how many shades of black there are

So. Ive finished all my training. Months ago actually. Ive just been too lazy to make another entry XP. Any ways. Alots happened simce then of course. I got an apartment with which im sharing with a good friend of mine. Its nothing special, but it is home. Complete with bad-ass led zeppelin poster X). Ive also landed a job that couldnt be any more perfect for me. I work at an animal hospital. I help run the kennel where we keep all the dogs if they stay over night. (or for any extended period of time) yes ive been bitten, peed on, stepped in poop, slobbered on, gotten crazy amounts of hair all over me. But i love my job. And wouldnt change it for anything.
Also. My relationship with my special someone is going really well. He loves me for who i am. And i love him more than anyhing. I pray to god that never changes. Unfortunately. Hes far away from me now. I do get kind of lonely becaue i cant be with him right now. But thats how it is at the moment. We talk frequently through texts. Though i kinda wish hed call me occaisionally. But im not going to make a fuss about it. Im just happy to be together. I still do alot of long boarding and am working on a video. Nothing spectacular but from the heart so thats what it is. To those who know me and to thoughs who dont, much love to you all.

My training is almost complete. In one short month i will be finkshed and retur. Home to my family and friends. Though it will be wonderful to be back with them all. The person who i want to be with more than anything else remains so far away. Itll be quite sometime for i will be able to see him and i long for the moment we're together every second on my waking hours. We have grown so close. It almost feels like we've been together for years. I know so much about him and i cant wait to know him even better. I love him dearly and hope and pray that he finds his way out of the difficult times he's facing. I only wish i was there to help and comfort him. Until that day comes, I'll continue to walk my own path. To those who have cared enough to read this. Much love to you all

My life has changed drastically in the past several months. I've gone from wandering hippie to well trained soldier in a short time. Although I can't say I ever expected this to be my path, it has brought me out of a hard place and provided me with many opportunities. I gained a good deal of confidence from my experiences thus far and learned alot about myself. I'm still a hippie. I always will be. But I try to have an open mind about what's going on in my life right now.
This last month has been exceedingly wonderful. I've fallen in love with an amazing person. He's everything I could hope for in a partner and so much more. Our relationship has flourished and one day we will be able to be together. Until then I have to get my life together. To all who care to read this. Much love too you all. Peace be with you.

i've been through half of basic training now. i still have five weeks left but i'm on leave for two. to be honest, it's a joke. it's insanely easy and i have no trouble with it, despite my physical abilities and personal convictions. it has become simply a job for me, though i guess, it always was. i'm simply a mechanic, fixing generators. anyhow, this new chapter in my life is going off without a hitch. six more years, and i'll be able to go out into the world as a civilian. get a job in animal control and rescue (if all goes as planned) and live my life as i intend to. i may not be able to get online as often as i would like, for the next two months or so. hopefully, though, i will be able to keep in touch with all of you. i love you all. i have become close to all of you, as though i knew you all in person. some of you i do. but for all those i don't. i will do my best to stay in touch, and wish the best for all of you in the days i will not be present to hear of your adventures. i will return, eventually, but until then, i wish much love and peace to you all.

I've started drills for the national guard. i'm not sure if i'm ready for basic, but i think when november comes around i will be. if i can't just keep on working out and remember why i joined up in the first place i'll be alright. a means to an end is really all this is. college, money, credability in the job market, that's all i'm looking for. and who knows. i might enjoy it all. many who know me, know me as a hippie, or flower child. the furthest thing from a soldier or warrior there is. i prefer not to fight, unless there's no choice. i don't fight because i'm angry, but i get angry because i'm forced to fight. hopefully being a mechanic will allow me to avoid combat while allowing me to do my part for the country and further myself in my own endeavors. i can only wait and find out. I feel i will be doing much meditation in what little spare time i will have at basic. clearing my mind of what's going on and bringing myself back to who i am in the times i will most likely need to. i may becoming a soldier, but i am still very much a hippie. hopefully the two will find some way to coexist as two parts of my being. this will definately be quite the journey.

i've decided to join the national guard and become a tank mechanic. it'll pay for college and pays well. even though basic training might suck i beleive i'm ready for it. this all so i can go to school and eventually work as an animal control and rescue officer for the SPCA. hopefully i can make a difference for many animals. as long as i stay positive about this i'm sure i will succeed.

to my friends i talk to here on elftown, it may be a while before i can speak to any of you again. i wish you all well until then.



We are one
The universe is one
Everything is beautiful

  -The Doors- motion picture

i cannot lean back. not against a wall or a chair, not even a cushioned sofa. i have obtained a terrible scraping all along my spine, recieved from a terrible skateboarding accident, along with a hard smack in the back of the head. fortunately, no permenant damage has been done. but putting on shirts is a pain. hopefully the pain will subside soon and i will be able to lay on my back again.