hi
i'm so bored
i have to babysit tonight
first time.
hmm... that'll be interesting... the kid is a terror (my friend tried to hurt him badly one time, haha, that was funny)
i wonder exactly what i'm gunna do w/ myself.
i mean, i go to a college prep school. everyone else there is going to make like a business person or a doctor out of themselves. i don't want that. my dad may let me switch out to another school. the one my x-crush goes to... we'd probably end up taking the train together... haha, that'd be funny... i hope i can go there... i can't stand s.a., i hate most of the people that go there and i have a rap (reputation) among my peers. they call me "bitch". they don't even say it behind my friggin' back. they say it right in front of me!! that sucks. anyways, i want to start over and screw my life in a different direction. the one that includes getting drunk discreetly with friends (after two glasses, i'm wasted :) ) and that type of thing. dating. yes, dating would be fun. i mean there's only one problem with me and dating. i have trouble seperating friendship and love... oh well, i'll get it by camp. omg, there are so many hot guys at the camp i go to. first i have to loose like twenty pounds... yea...i think i will
right now i'm in web publishing class
they're like "ha-ha, that girl in eigth grade, she's such a whore!"
the teacher is like "wow, she has a rap with seniors"
i'm thinking, wanting to say "i have a reputation. christian's x-girlfriend." thats lovely
i have eigth graders coming up to me and asking "you were christian's gf, right?"
still! we broke up a like three months ago!
haha!
i just looked at someone's house
and one of the questions in their description was something like "are you an angry person?" she said sometimes.
that makes me laugh b/c this one day i got really pissed at my x for doing something.
haha!
my friends'll testify that the only thing that chilled me was a mental image of his blood pouring out of him. ooo, that was a good pic! haha!!! i got over that but i've decided not to talk to him over aim anymore (although i still like his buddy icons) b/c he's a total bastard over aim. at least in person he's decent.
lol!!
ta
this is kinda one of those things that u can't post on lj
b/c then the person ur talking about will read it
and u don't want everyone else to know
but i don't know you peeps so... i guess it doesn't matter.
my x is getting really pissed off at me b/c i have this problem. whenever i see people i know together making out or just with the opposite sex, my eyes tend to go deep into them, u kno the look. and it really bugs people.
it bugs my x, it bugs my dad and step-mother, it bugs people i don't even know that well. its just, i guess i'm afraid of losing that person to someone else, even if they are just a friend. so now, now my x and i aren't even friends. that totally sucks b/c he's really kewl but oh well.
wow! i've really matured since my first few entries. wow.
i cry inside, i want to die.
i cant believe what i did
i was so wrong
so incredibly wrong
i just hurt someone-
someone i would die for
one of the few people
i could say that about
truthfully
i hurt him deeply
i shouldn't have done it
i deserve to die for the
things i said to him.
really, i do.
i should.
*weeps
ouch, my heart hurts. my boyfriend just broke up with me.
I should be talking the dog out at the moment but...shoot...
Out of complete and utter boredom I copy a story I wrote a while ago so...er...plea
The Horrors of War
You are in the middle of a war. There is gunfire all around you and the night is bright with cannon fire. You and your best buddy are scheduled to go onto the battlefield in the next hour. Your name and the name of your buddy are called and you march proudly onto the battlefield. You are a real person, you are doing something good for your country. The thought occurs to you for a second that you could die but you dismiss it. You cock your gun and aim, shooting one of the enemy in the leg. Your general calls you over to where the cannon is standing a few feet away and asks you to help shoot a grape shot. You follow part of the bullet with your eyes and see it as it rips through a man's throat, killing him instantly. You call to your buddy in triumph. Your buddy looks over to congragulate you and suddenly everything happens in slow motion. A grape shot slowly apporaches your buddy. Since your friend is only a couple feet away, you lunge towards your buddy, attempting to block the bullet. You feel a searing pain rip through your middle. You black out. You awake to more pain and then you know. You died and because you killed someone God didn't accept you into Heaven.
mid-terms start tomorrow and i haven't started studying yet.
Total and utter boredom. Not to mention stressed. Midterms are coming up on friday and I haven't started studying, yet.
My brother just got married yesterday days ago. Well, actually, he's my step-brother but i have never had a brother before so I just call him my brother. Yea. So. Anyways. He's in the Marines and he's threatened to kick the ass of anyone who tries to make a move on me. That's kewl. And good.Except he said it like that and my virgin ears were horrified. Yea. He got married two months,exactly
My brother just got married yesterday days ago. Well, actually, he's my step-brother but i have never had a brother before so I just call him my brother. Yea. So. Anyways. He's in the Marines and he's threatened to kick the ass of anyone who tries to make a move on me. That's kewl. And good.Except he said it like that and my virgin ears were horrified. Yea. He got married two months,exactly
My brother just got married yesterday days ago. Well, actually, he's my step-brother but i have never had a brother before so I just call him my brother. Yea. So. Anyways. He's in the Marines and he's threatened to kick the ass of anyone who tries to make a move on me. That's kewl. And good.Except he said it like that and my virgin ears were horrified. Yea. He got married two months,exactly
I think I have bronchitis. *I cry* I was fine two days ago. *cries some more*
As was my diary sad, I am as well. My friend who was supposed to come over to begin a role-play has taken ill and I am bored near to tears. I have nothing better to do than to do what I love best. To write. Write. What a lovely thing, expression and art. An art I can actually master for I am not artist except, except, with words. With words I love to paint images in minds and I try to break your heart with my words and oft I find that after breaking your heart I heal it with fresh healing salve. A healing salve of words. There is only one exception to my love of writing, my mastery of my native tongue (English) is at its lowest form. See now, I have trouble placing the correct punctuation and things. Oh sad am I at this hour. I have naught more to do so I will post a story, sure to break your heart. Please do not take offense, friends, in the names as I made it as a game with characters.
Luthien walked through her private garden and inhaled the sweet scent of blooming flowers. Spring was sweet in the elven city of Caras Galadhon. She looked up to see her little *no, not a baby, almost an adult, she thought* daughter glide towards her.
"Galadriel, won't you come walk with me?"
"I would love to, Mama."
Luthien smiled. That was like her daughter, always obeying even when it was simply a request. Suddenly the light went out of Luthien's eyes. She knew why her daughter catered to her every whim. Since the death of her father, Beren, the girl had become quiet.
"What's wrong, Mama?"
"I was just thinking of your father. I miss him and my heart is breaking. Soon, it will be your time. I am dying, Galadriel."
"Mama! Don't speak like that, you frighten me."
Luthien stroked her daughter's golden hair and said, "Galadriel, I gave up my immortality to that man and I cannot live without him. You know that. When I die, you will reign. I will be the wind in the trees and a breeze in the night, naught more."
"Mama, please. You still have a long time with us. You must live to see your grandchildren!
"Daughter, you have accepted Celeborn to be your husband? You are not old enough to be married yet."
"Mama, I shall be old enough next moon. On my birthday the wedding will take place."
"Sweetling, I would hope that is not the case."
"But, Mama, we want to be married."
"Oh, its just that...well... I don't think I can give you away that soon."
"You have to, Mama. Celeborn is a good man and fit to be lord of Lothlorien when the time comes. He does not have a history with celery even!"
"Just because he does not have one now does not mean that he could ever eat celery. But because you wish it I will give you, my daughter, away."
"Thank you, Mother. For this I am most grateful."
A moon passed and Galadriel's birthday and wedding came. It was a lavish affair, both families being noble and rich. In fact, Galadriel (on the topic of nobility) was the Crown Princess of Lothlorien. Anyways, it was simple but elegant and, as I stated before, very lavish. There were tablecloths of spun gold, plates made of silver, glasses made of crystal, and the bride's dress was made of spun mithril with gold strands. Everything was so beautiful most guests cryed before the wedding even began.
"Celeborn, will you have me as your wife?"
"If you will have me as your husband."
And then they both said, "I will."
Celeborn and Galadriel were joined in marriage at that moment and the newlyweds walked off the platform to accept congratulation
"Celeborn. You have been charged with illegal celery possesion and consumption."
"I do not have celery and I do not like to eat it."
"Yet you have been charged. I must take you to Minas Tirith to be dealt with."
Galadriel then spoke in her silvery voice that usually swayed all who heard it. "Have pity on us. At least tell me who charged my new husband with this celery possesion and consumption."
"M'lady, it was none other than Celeborn's father, Beren."
"No, if his name is Beren, the mortal, it is my father. But it can not be! It can not be!"
Galadriel burst into tears and ran through the forest of Lothlorien to find solitude.
The ranger took off his face and all the elves gasped in shock and horror as well as repulsion.
"Greetings all, I wish everyone here a joyous day," he said and then was gone with a swish of his ranger cloak.
Celeborn yelled, "On all my father's graves, I wish thee were dead, Haldir!"
Galadriel could not be found that day, nor the day after, nor the day after that. Celeborn wanted horribly to go to her and tell her it was only Haldir making fun but how could he if he knew not where she was?
*
Galadriel took a boat and swiftly loaded it with only her most special belongings. She could not take it, the fact her husband had been charged with illegal celery possesion and consumption. She had hoped it would not have been that way. What's done is done and can't be undone, she thought as she shoved her boat into the fast moving Silverlode. She would go where none would ever see her again, beyond the Sundering Seas. There she would meet with all her family that she had lost during the War of the Great Jewels. Her brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone would be delighted to see her. Then she hesitated. What about her mother? Was she strong enough to rule Lothlorien by herself? She would have to be, Galadriel could stand this world no longer. But would that not be some manner of desertion? Her father had always punished deserters so would he punish her? She would see when she go to her destination. She thought and thought as she paddled down the long river which would then flow into the Sea and from there to the Gray Havens.
Many days and nights passed and Galadriel could not stop thinking about her husband and her mother and all her new friends that she had left behind. She felt like she was getting no closer to the Gray Havens, either. Everything was going horribly since Celeborn had been arrested. Now, even the tide was against her. Huge waves came over the side of her small canoe, some of her jewelry from her father washed overboard. She screamed with madness.Why did she bring the few precious items she had left? She should have left them behind for her mother. She screamed again and felt herself slip into total madness. Galadriel, Crown Princess of Lothlorien, was mad, crazy, call it what you will but she had slipped beyond sanity.
"Galadriel, Galadriel!" a voice cried from a vessel on the Sea.
Galadriel saw not her husband, only an elven-man searching for someting. Even as her canoe was hauled into safety she fought, thinking these were evil people come to capture her. Before she could hurt herself or another, Galadriel was knocked unconcious by her loving husband. It pained him greatly to see the mischief that Haldir had wrought.
*
After months of healing and tender care, Galadriel was slowly regaining her sanity. Oh, ever so slowly though. Day by day she grew better but the death of her mother, Luthien Tinuviel, relapsed Galadriel into the unfeeling and unseeing world of the insane. Celeborn fought daily to keep her by his side, the Queen of Lothlorien should not be "put down" like a common animal. She would die when it was her time to leave Middle-earth and go to the Gray Havens.
One day, Galadriel awoke and Celeborn could feel some strangeness on the air. Minute by minute, Celeborn could see his beloved wife was well again. Now that she was well, they loved each other with a deep and unbounding love that could have put to shame the Valar when they loved.
Months later, Celeborn lay next to his wife listening to her breath when a new life force awakened in the world. Not a born child or animal, mind. Just the beginnings of a child or animal. When Galadriel stirred Celeborn knew the life force came from her. Quickly Celeborn awakened Galadriel.
"Wife, you carry a little daughter in your womb!" he exclaimed with joy.
"How happy that is. Joy, joy," Galadriel responded.
Soon after, a little daughter was born to the Lady and Lord of Lothlorien. They named her Celebrian.
The story, in short, ends in this fashion. Celebrian married Elrond Half-elven of Rivendell and they begot Eladin and Elrohir, the twins, and Arwen Undomiel. Celebrian recieved a great wound from orcs and passed away to the Grey Havens. Arwen Undomiel married and passed on (maybe to the Grey Havens, I can not remeber rightly at this hour). Here ends this story.