[UselessAeon]'s diary

982477  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-10-09
Written: (6068 days ago)

Animes I like:
Hellsing
Elfen Lied
Speed Grapher
Blood: The Last Vampire

I'm looking into some more, if anyone knows some I should check out they should message me, yep.

857778  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-29
Written: (6444 days ago)

Current Addictions:

Songs: Simple Survival

FOod: Pizza, Ice cream

Movie: Snatch

799851  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-29
Written: (6566 days ago)

These were funny....

101 Rules of Being Hardcore

1) Be tough at all times.
2) Never cheer after a show, only clap.
3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way
4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.
5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.
6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly.
7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough.
8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.
9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.
11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town.
12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.
13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.
14) Keep it in the do-jo.
15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.
16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs!
17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Hulud.
18) Tell people you work in the music industry.
19) More Ankles people!
20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.
21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again.
22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.
23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.
24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.
25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain.
26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album.
27) Start your own hardcore band.
28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.
29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.
30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience.
31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.
32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX
33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.
34) It's merch not Merchandise.
35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.
36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.
37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are.
38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis.
39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer.
40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff."
41) Buy all of that bands merch.
42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.
43) Repeat steps 41 and 42
44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones.
45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well.
46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year.
47) Complain that they are playing with Slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer.
48) Complain at all costs.
49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool
50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.
51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference.
52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet... stay home and cry.
53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.
54) Scream about love.
55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.
56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.
57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.
58) Wear your pins with honour! Shai Hulud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour.
59) Velcro shoes are cool.
60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.
61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.
62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.
63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.
64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free.
65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough.
66) Re-issue your demos after every album.
67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play.
68) Crying on stage makes you a professional.
69) Complain some more.
70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.
71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking.
72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York.
73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional.
74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben)
75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear.
76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?
77) Bandanas are cool.
78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.
79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser.
80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.
81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band.
82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.
83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.
84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.
85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks
86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle.
87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.
88) Keep punching
89) Kick a little too
90) Punch
91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.
92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.
93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.
94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy.
95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.
96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.
97) Straight bangs means straight-edge
98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.
99) When in doubt Mock everything
100) Take everything personally.
101) Assume this list is about you

791553  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-05-13
Written: (6582 days ago)

001: Name: Steven Zazulak Riseborough
002: Nickname: Steve, Stevie
003: Country of living: Canada
004: Birthdate: November 9, 1988
005: Length: 5'9''
006:Eye color: brown
007: Shoesize: 12
008: School/work: School
009: You smoke:no
010: Hobby's: Music, movies, video games
011: Brothers/Sisters: 2 brothers
012: Relationship: yeah 8 months so far..
013: Piercing(s): Yeah: both my ears have 2 holes in em
014: Tattoo: No
015: Fave Country to go to: Canada? o.O
016: Are there people you wont reply to?: yeah
017: Nicest person you met this year: Hmm..Mandi
018: Person you rather not have met this year: None this year...but last year...oh god.
019: Who would you like to meet: Maynard James Keenan or Trent Reznor
020: Who do you admire most: Trent Reznor
021: Most sexy person(s): Stephanie Villeneuve
022: Favorite Pajamas: The track pants I wear to bed
023: Favorite Car: Cadillac...gangsta lol
024: Favorite Movie(s): Sin City, Secret Window, Ham and Cheese
025: Favorite Music: Metal
026: Favorite City(s): Toronto, Montreal
027: Favorite Plush: None
030: Favorite sound: Guitar
031: Favorite TV-series: Spongebob Squarepants
032: Favorite Writer: Brian Jacques
033: Favorite Nickname: Shorty? lol
034: What is on your mousepad: No mouspad
035: What all is under your bed: Hats, scarves
036: Favorite color: Red
037: Favorite Song ever: Murder is Masturbation
038: Favorite song at this moment: Ex's and Oh's
039: Favorite food: French Toast
040: Favorite class in school: Drama
041: Favorite drink: Coca-Cola
042: Lucky number: 69
044: What deodorant do you use: Arid XXX
045: Favorite shoes: Only have one pair...
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: 10:00
047: What word do you use most: Fuck
048: Most romantic moment in your life: Concert with my Gf
049: Most embarrassing moment in your life: In grade 1 I fell out of my chair and everyone laughed at me.
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: Depends on the weather
051: What do you do in the weekends: Hang out with friends, or girlfriend
052: What class on school do/did you dislike most: Math.
053: Your Breakfast: Depends on the day
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: mushrooms
055: Pets: 2 cats
056: Laugh or Dream: Dream
057: Serious or funny: funny
058: Fast or slow: fast
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: relation
060: Simple or complicated?: simple
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: buried
062: Sex or Alchohol: Sex, hands down
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: early
64: Light or dark?: Light
065: Speak or Silence: speak
066: Tall or small man/woman: Small
067: News paper: Ottawa Citizen
068: Hug or kiss: Kiss
069: Happy or Sad: happy
070: Life or Death: Life
071: Gig or Disco: Gig
072: Left or Right: Right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: side
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: Dark
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: What the hell where you thinking?
076: You believe in reincarnation: No
077: You believe in Aliens: yes
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: ...Shiiiit...
079: Does true love exist: Yeah
080: How many kids would you like to have: 1
081: sitting down?: Yeah
082: Best feeling: Love
083: Worst feeling in the world: Mosquito bites you can't scratch...
084: What are you afraid of: Big dogs
085: Are you an emotional person: Yeah
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: Only have once
087: Your goal in life: Record a CD with my friends
089: Favorite art-artist: H.R. Giger
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: Scorpion
091: What is the most beautiful part on the female body: Stomach
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: Niagara Falls
093: What do you think of Elftown: It's pretty cool
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: nope
095: Where did you get this question list: Someone's Profile
095: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC:MSN, Music, Play games, take photos on my webcam
096: Is there a question you missed in this all: Nope
097: Favorite Actor: Johnny Depp...
098: Favortie Actress: Jessica Alba
099: Favorite Animes: Hellsing, Steamboy, Full-Metal Alchemist
100: Favorite Mangas: Dunno
102: What super power do you wish to have: Flight
103: Your gender: Male
104: Straight/gay/BI: Straight
105: Single: Nope
106: Want to be: No
107: Age you act: 19
108: Age you wish you were: 17
109: Your height: 5'9''
110: Happy with it: Yes
111: The color of your hair: Dark Brown
112: Happy with it: Yes
113: Left/right/ambidextrous: Right
114 Your living arrangement: with my family
115: What's your job: School
116: Piercings: 2 in each ears
117: Obsessions: Music
118: Do you speak another language: Nope
119: Have a favorite quote: "Which truth's more lie, that there was or that there wasn't?"
120: Do you have a WebPage: A few
121: Do you live in the moment: Alot of the time
122: Do you consider yourself tolerant of others: Kind of..
123: Do you have any secrets: Yes
124: Do you hate yourself: Only in some moments
125: Do you like your handwriting: meh
126: Do you have any bad habits: Yupp
127: What is the compliment you get most from people: "You have pretty eyes..." o.O
129: What's your biggest fear: drowning
130: Can you sing: Yeah
131: Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool: Nope
132: Are you a loner: no
133: If you were another person, would you be friends with you: Yeah
134: Are you a daredevil: sometimes
135: Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself: Uh...not sure
136: Are you passive or aggressive: bit of both
137: Have you got a question: no
138: What is your greatest strength and weakness: Music and Food..? I dunno
139: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be: My weird skin condition
140: There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose: Beauty
141: How do you vent: Freaking out on ppl
142: Do you think you are emotionally strong: Not really
143: Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life: Yeah..you'll never know what it is tho
144: Do you think life has been good so far: Fucking right
145: What is the most important lesson you've learned from life: Take every moment like it'll be your last
145: What do you like the most about your body: my hair
146: And least: Body hair..
147: Do you think you are good looking: Sometimes
148: Are you confident: yea
149: What is the fictional character you're most like: dunno...
150: Do people know how you feel: some people
151: Are you perceived wrongly: Yeah
152: Smoke: NO
153: Do drugs: ew no
154: Read the newspaper: sometimes
155: Pray: Nope
156: Go to church: no
157: Talk to strangers who IM you: occasionally
158: Sleep with stuffed animals: No
159: Take walks in the rain: Sometimes
160: Talk to people even though you hate them: Yeah
161: Drive: no
162: Like to drive fast: no
163: Liked your voice: yes
164: Hurt yourself: once
165: Been out of the country: no -_-
166: Eaten something that made other people sick: Hahah yea
167: Burped: Yepp
168: Been unfaithful: yeah
169: Been in love: Yeah
170: Done drugs: A few...ew..
171: Gone skinny-dipping: No
172: Had a surgery: Yeah
173: Ran away from home: No
174: Played strip poker: no
175: Gotten beaten up: Yea
176: Been picked on: a few times
177: Been on stage: Yep
178: Been so drunk that you can't remember your name?: No
179: Slept outdoors: Yep
180: Thought about suicide: Yeah
181: Pulled an all-nighter: Yeah
182: If yes, what is your record: Day and a half
183: Gone one day without food: Yeah
184: Talked on the phone all night: Nah
185: Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: nope...heheh
186: Slept all day: No
187: Killed someone: No
188: Made out with a stranger: Never
189: Had sex with a stranger: Never
190: Thought you're going crazy: Yes
191: Kissed the same sex: yes
192: Done anything sexual with the same sex: No.
193: Been betrayed: Yes
194: Had a dream that came true: yes
195: Broken the law: yeh
196: Met a famous person: Yeah
197: Have you ever killed an animal by accident: yes
198: Stolen anything: yep
199: Been on radio/TV.: yes

778115  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (6610 days ago)

Here's my top 25 most played song in my Itunes so far..(from most to least)

The Truth of My Perception-As I Lay Dying

Ex's and Oh's-Atreyu

Warmness of the Soul-Avenged Sevenfold

Everytime we touch(Radio Mix)-Cascada

Follow The Reaper-Children of Bodom

Mask of Sanity-Children of Bodom

Threnody-Divinity Destroyed

Returning The Smile You had From The Start-Emery

Shadow World-The Haunted

Murder is Masturbation-Nothingface

Tough Guy-Open Hand

Image of The Invisible-Thrice

Baby Got Back-Throwdown

Take Me Away-Four Strings

Party Hard-Andrew W.K.

She is Beautiful-Andrew W.K.

Silent Wars-Arch Enemy

94 Hours-As I Lay Dying

Forever-As I Lay Dying

Lip Gloss and Black-Atreyu

Right Side of The Bed-Atreyu

Beast and The Harlot-Avenged Sevenfold

Darkness Surrounding-Avenged Sevenfold

Desecrate Through Reverance-Avenged Sevenfold

The Wretched Spawn-Cannibal Corpse

778047  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-04-15
Written: (6610 days ago)
Next in thread: 781279

I found this and thought it was hilarious...so i decided to post it...

92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.



777623  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-04-14
Written: (6611 days ago)

Yeah I was bored....so I took this...

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Steven
-- Nicknames: Steve, Stevie, Lil' Stevy, Stevie-Boy, Stev-o....
-- Birth date:November 9, 1988
-- Birthplace: Ottawa Riverside Hopsital
-- Current location: Stittsville
-- Eye color:brown
-- Hair color: brown
-- Height: 5’9
-- Righty or lefty: right


LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Nordic, French, Irish
-- Your weakness: Hugs
-- Your fears: Death
-- Your perfect pizza: MEAT LOVER'S
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Move out


LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on MSN: "O God"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "...Already?"
-- Your best physical feature: My skinny body
-- Your bedtime: 9:00-9:30....yeaaah
-- Your most missed memory: Hanging out with Steph on weekends


LAYER FOUR
-- Soda: Pepsi
-- Fast food joint: Subway
-- Single or group dates: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: Nike...so comfy
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappucino


LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: nope
-- Cuss: Yeah
-- Sing: Yeah
-- Take a shower every day: ....who doesn't?
-- Have a crush(es): Steph, My gf
-- Do you think you've been in love: I am
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Like high school: meh
-- Want to get married:eventually
-- Believe in yourself: Enough
-- Get motion sickness: Sometimes
-- Think you're attractive: A little
-- Think you're a health freak: Oh hell no
-- Get along with your parents: More often lately
-- Like thunderstorms: SO relaxing...
-- Play an instrument: Not well, lol


LAYER SIX
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: no
-- Smoked:no
-- Done a drug: yeah
-- Had sex: no
-- Made out: yes
-- Gone on a date:not really...
-- Gone to the mall: yeeah
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No, I wanna tho!
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: yea
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: no =(
--Gone skinny-dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair:haha no
-- Stolen anything: haha yep


LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: No
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
-- Been caught doing something: nope
-- Been called a tease: no
-- Gotten beaten up: no
-- Shoplifted: yea
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Pssh. Yeah right.


LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: 20-25
-- Numbers and names of children: 1, if a boy Billy, If a girl, Alexandra
-- Describe your dream wedding: on a mountain with my family and friends on a summer afternoon...
you want to die: peacefully
-- Where do you want to go to college: Dunno
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Ehhh I dunno
-- What country would you most like to visit: Germany


LAYER NINE
In a boy/girl...
-- Best eye color: Blue
-- Best hair color: Brown
-- Short or long hair: In between
-- Height: Shorter than me
-- Best weight: a little chubby, but not fat
-- Best articles of clothing: Shirts, pants? I dunno
-- Best first date location: Movies...cliche lol
-- Best first kiss location: Bedroom


LAYER TEN
--Number of drugs taken illegally:1
--Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
--Number of CDs that I own: at least 100
--Number of piercing: 3
--Number of tattoos: 0
--Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: twice
--Number of scars on my body: 4 that i can see
--Number of things in my past that I regret: 3

697412  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-11-12
Written: (6764 days ago)

Been a long time, But I'm back

641230  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-08-08
Written: (6861 days ago)

My view on Marilyn Manson:

Since Mr. Manson has changed his sound on almost every album i'll explain each one.

Portrait of an American Family-Shock rock in it's fullest. Raw, savage, gutsy, and above all else: OFFENSIVE. He sounded like Alice Cooper meets misfits.

Antichrist Superstar-Mr. Manson worked with NIN's Trent Reznor on most of the tracks, making this more of an industrial-rock album. Contains his biggest hit "The Beautiful People". I like this album more than most of his others because there wasn't much out at the time that sounded like it.

Mechanical Animals-Doing more of a David-Bowie-era rock thing on this one. Another one of my favorite albums with several referances to space and sci-fi and machinery. More Glam Rock than shocking, and this hat fit Marilyn Manson very well.

Holywood-Manson fell into the trend of nu metal: bad lyrics and mediocre musicianship. It's an ok album, but nowhere near as fresh or original of some other stuff he has done.

Golden Age of Grotesque-An attempt to go back to the Industrail sound. Good content, but nowhere near as good as Antichrist Superstar.

638925  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-08-04
Written: (6864 days ago)

Now, usually I don't share dreams I have, but this one is an exception, simply because of how weird it was.

It started with me bieng in a laser tag like place. I kept getting shot and not being able to hit anyone. and then I found this door. I opened it and went in. Then, all of a sudden everything was completely different. I was two people; a guy and a girl. The guy was a friend of mine, but the girl was someone I really didn't know. We were in this really messed up maze made of wooden planks all hammered together, and there was next to no light around us. There were growling sounds coming from darker corners of the area. I got attacked by this monster with leathery skin and long claws. The laser tag gun turned out to be a machine gun so i shot it down. I panicked and fell over. I sat there on the ground for what seemed to be a very short while, and then out of nowhere a kitten walked over to me and placed itself on my lap. Not knowing what else to do I pet it for awhile before deciding to go on. I found a staircase to I went up it. It led me to this lobby in a medival looking fortress. It was made entirely of stone, and there were torches everywhere, lighting the are up. There was one large staircase in the centre. As I started walking towards it, a giant armored man charged at me. He was wearing broad, armor with a plain black helmet and he had a red cape. He came at me with an enourmous lance and had me back against the wall. I begged for mercy. He took off his helmet and asked what I was doing there. I told him that I just wanted a way out. He said the only way out was to fight demona(character from the TV show: Gargoyles). He let me go up the staircase. It led to what looked like an apartment. I heard what sounded like gun shots coming from one room. I opened the door to see Austin trying to shoot Demona. Demona knocked him back and told us to go away and leave her alone. She curled herself into a ball on a bed. I walked towards her and we started talking. She said she was tired of fighting everyone that came by. That's when I woke up.

634308  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-07-28
Written: (6871 days ago)

x= yes -= no
{x} Fallen for your best friend
{x} Made out with JUST a friend
{-} Made out with the same sex
{x} Been rejected
{x} Been in love
{x} Been in lust
{-} Used someone
{x}Piercings
{x} Been used
{-} Been cheated on
{x} Done something you regret
{x} Considered a life of crime
{-} Considered being a hooker
{-} Considered being a pimp
{-} Are you psycho
{-} Split personalities
{-} Schizophrenic
{-} Obsessive
{-} Racist
{-} Obsessive compulsive
{x}Dream of dead bodies, blood, death, and gore
{x} Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them
{x} Understanding
{x} Open-minded
{x} Arrogant
{x} Insecure
{x} Interesting
{-} Hungry
{x} Friendly
{-} Smart
{x} Moody
{x} Childish
{-} Independent
{x} Hard working
{-} Organized
{x} Healthy
{-} Emotionally stable
{x} Shy
{-} Difficult
{-/x} Attractive
{x} Bored easily
{-} Thirsty
{x} Responsible
{-} Sad
{x} Happy
{x} Trusting
{x} Talkative
{-} Original
{-} Different
{-} Unique
{x} Lonely
{-} Had a bad life
{-} Have a bad life
{x} Dye your hair
{-} Floss daily
{-} Own a web cam?
{x} Ever get off the damn computer
{-} Ever done a drug(s)
{x} Ever drank alcohol
{x&-} Been suicidal


576546  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-17
Written: (6943 days ago)
Next in thread: 576555

Origins

Claws of concrete pierce the clouds
They bleed an oily black haze
Lost in an industrial maze
An unknown legacy is born
Now there is no turning back
No way to redeem what we lack
A crescendo of hurried voices
Erupts and crackles through the streets
Drowning out our choices
Our origin is sacrificed
Among the smog clouds

A city full of lights
A red star that burns bright
The kingdom crumbles
From the inside out
Death by regret and doubt
Night will never fall again
For it has been slain
Medication handed out
To make the demons go away

Outside the wire fences
Lies the forest
From which we carved our existance
A systematic persistance
Lead us through the tempest
Everyone has changed
And yet we're still the same
Like the primates we blame
We, too are deranged
Redemption has no hope
We have lost our way
Faltering today
No way for us to cope

Rouse us
Wake us
Return us to the forest
Love us
Need us
Return us to the womb
Cut us
Shoot us
Return us to our homes
Murder us
Destroy us
Return us to our tombs

547278  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-04-10
Written: (6980 days ago)
Next in thread: 554016

Fill The Silence

Part One: Hello Reflection

Hello reflection
The man that I fear
Eyes have reddened
With the unwiped tears
Never once have I
Given you a smile
So many years of
Hate and denial
Are you the true me?
The hidden side that
No one ever sees
You’re the only one
That can understand
For you’ve seen it all
Witnessed it first hand
You have become me
On my truest form
And as you shatter
I begin to mourn

Part Two: Him

Everywhere I go, I see him
His ugly face and ugly sins
He’s always lurking in my mind
Within this body, I’m confined
And thus, this hatred has been born
Upon the ground, tattered and torn
These open wounds that can’t be sewn
Why can’t anybody see this?
How are they so oblivious?
His voice echoes in my head
Those dark words were all that he said
Drowning my sorrow, and my heart
Just so that I don’t fall apart
When the battle’s over and done
Please tell me what I’ve become

Part 3: Solitude

Here I am, all alone
I’m so weak, I’m too cold
Imprisoned by my hate
Nobody can relate
As my pieces fall down
And I become unwound
Will anyone see me?
Will I finally be free?
Or will I be stuck
In this horrible rut
The voices in my head
Wishing that I was dead
So here in solitude
I rot away my final day

Part Four: Help me

I need you by my side
To help me fight this pain
I can’t do this alone
In truth, I’m just too drained
Fill the silence in me
So I don’t have to hear
The voices breaking free
Take some of my burden
Just listen to my words
I need consolation
Escape from all this hurt
Can I depend on you?
Or will you turn away?
Give me words to listen
And talk away my pain


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