wow..it has been months since i hav written in this thing...of course, this would only make my, wat - 3rdor 4th entry?!? lol...anwhore, a lot has changed since i last wrote...well, i threw away old baggage, and went through a few already, and i hav finally settled on one...this one is sweet, sick, strong, and LOYAL! i can't remember the last relationship i had where i had all four...but its nice...oh - and i now hav my band together- Freak Show On Mute- we r awsome..with me and my best friend Wynter as vocals *lalalalala* ya..we will be big - so ull hear of us...and im doing shotput - cause im soo kewl like that...lol...and im switching schools - im going to Dillard School of hte Performing Arts, so i will be able to do wat i love, and get great grades for it! best of both worlds...wel...until next time! toodles! *muah*

im tired of fucking trying...i try so fucking hard to please everyone, one person in perticular..but it is never enough...i give up...because no matter how hard i try i will never be able to do it...im never going to be good enough...so fuck all of you...

well....isn't this interesting...a place to tell all of yourself to people who, for the most part, you know nothing of....it seems kind of weird, knowign that a complete stranger could just pull op this page and read anything you put up. the fun part is some people don't censor wat they put up in these diaries and allow people into their souls....i hav never gotten diaries, not online one anyway...a diary is something you confide in and tell all to...and that is to b kept secret in a locked drawer, not to b posted on the web....efven if you put you diary entries as secret...there are still hackers who have nothing better to do than to find a way to make your secrets gossip...all i use online diaries for is for simply telling my opinions...which probably nobody even cares about anyway...so i hav no fear of any reading them......it all seems useless though...it doesn't matter wat we truly think or feel....we r all , sooner or later, going to simply die and rot...and our pathetic, insignificant lives will mean nothing...nothing more than a picture found in a room...
or a diary found in a locked drawer...