[dont read just me blabbin words]

oh how i wish to sleep in a puddle
not just any puddle one made of blood
the blood that flows through my veins & arteries
the kind i spill with no remorse
i hide the marks,i deny the truth
why cant i be honest?i wish i knew
all i know is im dead to u
u say u want to be friends
but yet we never talk
how many friends do not talk?
i can't name one
i need u.....if not a gf.....
as a friend....
rather i like it or not.....i love u

my excuse for a poem:
you say ur heartless
ur just a liar
why dont u be honest with urself
& just shut up while ur ahead
u say everything u love is
gone but look around
ur not the only person
on this earth with feelings
so stop doing to others
as u had done to u
be a rebel.....
care

FUCKING COMPUTER!!!ok well i just had an entire diary entry here that i have to retype & i cant write down word for word what all i said so yeah heres a lump sum of it

debating on going back to church,but only on wednesdays,pisses me off all the stupid hypacritical christians will think the only reason im going back is b/c my gf goes to church & that i dont have possibly no faith or belief in god & maybe JUST MAYBE i fucking hate gods guts with such a passion i cant even describe it.nah it could never be that.ok im rambling again,also i figured out that ive been missing alot like the group of people i hung out with at chuch (mainly 4).nessa[ceridwen],lizzie[jesusfreak/ bandgeek],sabrina,& meghan[Aurora Of Moonblade].& ive felt really empty without all of it(besides other reasons) & yeah so pretty much one of them we kinda stopped talking & avoid each other,& the other 3 i dont get to see very much aside from school.so a group i enjoyed spending time with i dont get to very much & i was thinking of going back to church if only to pass time