Had a brilliant night last night. Chilled out with Kim, Oli and Amy till 11pm, then headed home to the falcons intending to go to sleep. After getting the fright of my life when Paul (the owner) jumped out on me, he asked if i was going to JW's for a few drinks. I did. One thing led to another, and I was in the saftey box on holy island with Alex, Andy, Collete and Tony Orange. Took a midnight northumberland mish! Was pretty good. Went to bamburgh, holy island, berwick, then went up to the scottish border for a piss. On the way back, we stopped in at haggerston castle and knocked on one of the holiday makers doors asking them where they want the bouncy castle put. After being chased out the park, we had a early morning breakfast at purdy lodge before ariving back at the faclons at 4am.

Brilliant fun!

Not been arsed to write in here for X amount of weeks, so I will basically sumarise everything I have done, into a little ball of magic.

First of all, I went down the the Cheltenham area for a week to see family. Was very boring towards the end, sitting in a workmans club playing bingo and what have you. Came back in style, in a jaguar.

Got sent to hospital and had my blood taken, had tonsilutus and a really fucked back. Walking like a duck. Matty bolam style.

Everything ok now, so just been chilling with my pals steveo and chitch - doing bits and bobs here and there

Stayed at my mates house, Alex (DJ alex from the falcons) last nite, good lad he is. Probs going to go to slaters death trap tonight with the craig.

Hope this is ok Steve

loads a love, as rik waller says on his homepage (www.rikwaller.com)

Simon

Acting on Distant Shores today

Here he is in the pub with me

GET IN!

I met Craig Heaney on Sunday, hes fucking class!! We were just chatting about normal stuff, as if ive known him for ages - which I have, but he hasnt known me. He bought me a drink and everything, went on for about 60 mins!

If your not sure who he is, hes in that pic above

hes also starred in all of these things:

National Lottery (2005) Advert.... guy who jumps out plane after winning ticket
WKD (1999) Advert... guy who gets stuck in a lift


Goal (2005) Football Film
"P.O.W." (2003) TV Series .... Larry Boyd
Staying Up (2002) (TV) .... Omar Watson
... aka Waiting for the Whistle: Staying Up (UK: series title)
Breeze Block" (2002) TV Series .... Billy Breeze
"Band of Brothers" (2001) (mini) TV Series .... Pvt. Roy Cobb
Out of Depth (2000) .... Armed police officer


"Distant Shores" playing "Mick" (episode 1.1,2,3,4,5,6) 5 January 2005
"Heartbeat" playing "Spicer" in episode: "Missing in Action" (episode # 12.18) 30 March 2003
"Clocking Off" playing "Mark Wilkes" (episode # 4.4) 23 March 2003
"Mersey Beat" playing "Mo Ferrer" in episode: "Under the Cosh" (episode # 3.4) 9 December 2002
"Mersey Beat" playing "Mo Ferrer" in episode: "The Good Lord Giveth" (episode # 3.3) 2 December 2002
"Casualty" playing "Reece Walker" in episode: "Return of the Native" (episode # 17.10) 16 November 2002
"Believe Nothing" playing "Sgt. Carroll" in episode: "Double First" (episode # 1.4) 4 August 2002
"Heartbeat" playing "Reggie Turnbull" in episode: "Windows of Opportunity" (episode # 11.20) 10 March 2002
"Peak Practice" playing "Richard Watkins" in episode: "The First Stone" (episode # 8.9) 16 November 1999
"Dangerfield" playing "Lee Prior" in episode: "Hidden Desires" (episode # 6.4) 24 September 1999
"Badger" playing "Terry" in episode: "Low Fidelity" (episode # 1.6) 15 August 1999
"Casualty" playing "Dean" in episode: "Crazy Love" (episode # 13.25) 20 February 1999

He said that he is going to pop into my shop and catch up with me, organising night out and stuff! This shit is class!

Acting on Distant Shores today

Acting on Distant Shores today

Acting on Distant Shores today

DJing at the Hairy Lemon tonight 8pm til 11pm

Hohohohohohohohohohohoho

eat it(16x) feel good (8x)

Chickens coming down at the KFC shack
They just have to go cos they are really wack
nobody likes chicken, it tastes like shit you see
and if you have to much you are in hospital for free
you have to know when to stop, or you'll be dead in a while
then the KFC salesperson will laugh and smile
All they want to hear is the heart machine beep
So they know that your only in a very deep sleep, no...

chicken, chicken all over the land
either way it will end up in your hand
stop eating it or you will loose your stride
come on mate, i have nothing to hide
chicken forever, chicken for free
chicken dripping of its own wee
chicken, chickin all over the land
is everybody ill?

this chickens ass, your gas, your cats
they want some chicken cracks
lay these bodies at the track
its my heart attack
blow, i'm shitting up more this year
too much chicken, but i just dont care
watch me as I dehidrate
hohohohohohoo.
gonna go blow down
this chicken town
with my sound
with your sound in the blink
going bite the dust
can’t fight with us
With your sound
you kill the chick.
so dont stop, get it, get it
until you got the fillet
and watch the way I shit
Hohohohohohohohoo

shake it(x8) feel good (x4)


chicken, chicken all over the land
either way it will end up in my hand
stop eating it or you will loose your stride
come on mate, i have nothing to hide
chicken forever, chicken for free
chicken dripping of its own wee
chicken, chickin all over the land
is everybody ill?

Dont stop, get it, get it
i want a chicken fillet (feel good)
steady,
watch the way i decompose it
ahahahahahhaa. (feel good)

Step away from the hutch, put the bunny down...before
he put you down,
y’see what I did there...*cough* yeah yeah,

Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do!!
The truth is out there so we’re here to tell you,
Don’t be fooled by this cute little bunny, cos when
he’s huge you won’t think he’s funny,
Hopping around in the little cartoon, you’ll be nearer
to death than those guys in Cocoon,
You never had a dream as bad as this, like a rabbit in
a mood with a really big gun,
These are not some nuns in habits, these are scary gun
toting rabbits,
Flopsy Mopsy - don’t be fooled, cos these are the
animals of the fluffy underworld,
Don’t turn out that light at night, cos bunny here’s
gonna give you a fright,
So if you find yourself covered in claret, look for
the bunny with the smoky carrot...


Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!


Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do!!
I lived in a forest so I know dat it’s true,
They’ll turn your momma into mincemeat, and then
they’ll turn your horse into glue,
So don’t go laughing at this silly little rhyme, cos
rabbit’s do the killing but they don’t do the time,
If I could I’d be top of my class, and I’d take that
rabbit and pop a cap in his ass,
The truth is out, the rabbit is risen,
But these dam rabbits don’t ever go to prison,
Bugs Bunny RIP, even Roger Rabbit’s in the cemetery...


Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!


Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do!!
I look like a rabbit but I wouldn’t kill you,
They’ve got big teeth and they don’t do dental, cos
most of these rabbits are absolutely mental,
Here’s a story - you better listen,
Cos after you heard it, you won’t be dissin’,
Had a friend who ended up wacked, got sent up to
heaven and the rabbit even packed,
So if you see a big eared bunny, toting a gun and
thinking he’s funny,
Get out of his way or else you just might kick it, on
the way to God with a one way ticket,
Don’t need armour, don’t need no tanks,
Just a rabbit with a pistol, down his pants,
These rabbits everywhere in the park or the street,
Rabbits everywhere that you hope you don’t meet,
Look at the man, they think they’re so cool,
Cruising down the road with their ho’s and their
honeys,
Don’t forget this silly little song,
Dogs don’t kill people, it’s just
bunnies!!


Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!

Dogs!!....Rabbits!!
Dogs!!....Rabbits!!
Dogs!!....Rabbits!!
Dogs!!....Rabbits!!

Im just going to start writing about random days now, and not keep track of each day as it comes as I cant be arsed to write about each day.

Today was pretty boring. Went to work, hanged with Steveo [ironboundtreo] (one of my diary fans), Clarky and Sekky - then went home to watch big brother

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? My House
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? My Bed
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 1am ish

Ive skipped some days out, because i cudnt be arsed to write about them days - and I only do this diary milarky when I am very very bored, or very very drunk. Anyways, today I worked until 5pm, then went home. Logged onto the internet, where I got asked by Katherine Hornsby if i want to go around to hers, so obviously I did. Met up with her, lauren, andy and emma and then we went down to a "beach party" in alnmouth. It was rather shit, but i did have a good laugh with my mates that were there. We didnt have any alcohol, and wasnt aloud to drink it anyway - but we decided that we should just go back to Kats and get pissed there, but not having any alcohol and being 11pm, we were pretty stuck - then I thought, "Tesco Extra, there open 24 hours, they will have some" so after a drive to Tesco Extra, half way there I suddenly realised - they shut there isles of alcohol at 11pm too - so were fucked. Just as well that we nicked a 15 pack of cans from the party and Ended up buying a bottle of wine from Piccolions. Went back to Kats and got pissed, and chilled out

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Rock, Katherines house
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? A sofa
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 4am ish

Thursday and im ([jobby]) fookin knackerd. Got up a little bit late, and went straight to work as usual. We took delievery to a huge bizhub printer, yey! God im sad getting excited over a printer.

Alex give me a ring and asked if i wanted to get taught on the DJ kit, so i did - left the shop, got shown sum stuff, then rememebered I had left my phone, wallet, shop keys and coat in the shop - but andy had already left and locked it. FOOWK. Never mind. Went to the hairy lemon to see how the DJin is done. Gonna be DJin 2moro night at the Falcons

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Craster, My house
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? My Bed
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 1.15am ish

Bit of a shit day today. I thought i was going to be getting paid from WHSmith, but they tell me that they paid me last month for this month, which is very shit and leaves me a bit short of cash.

Worked as usual today, but we closed at 4pm and I met up with gonzo ([act of chief]) and Chitch, ([*chitch*]) and we went to walk gonzos dog.

At 6pm, i went to ashington with the Gallery Youth Project to film their gig, it was pretty good. Sekky was my favourite, hes a classic rapper dude.

Went back to steves ([ironboundtreo]) and watched what i filmed

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Alnwick, Stevoes house
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? On the sofa
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 2am ish

Alreet, its Tuesday today and I ([jobby]) am ready to go back to my work. Its cool owning the place you work, as you can relax and get on with the jobs you need to, as and when you need to - you also get time to come onto elftown and speak to people on MSN, as well as havin mates come in and chatting to them.

Today was like any other day really, 9am - 5.30pm of work. Was a bit quiet today like, i think thats down to the school holidays and people going away for the day. At least I hope so.

I went to Aprils ([..beautiful disaster..]) after work, and we went down to Craster to the Distant Shores meeting, where we signed u to be extras. It was good crack, all the old biddies of Craster came out in there 10's to sign up for Distant Shores.

Big Brother was good tonight, there are some pretty fit lasses on there - Sam is probs the hottest by far!

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Craster, My house!
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? My own bed!!
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 12.30am ish

Bank Holiday monday, I ([jobby]) just woke up at 11am again fucked from sleeping on a hard floor, and again rang Gonzo ([act of chief]) to see what the crack was. We didnt really do much today, just chilled out and called on Sekky. Decided to go and watch another film and gonzos house, with Gonzo, Sekky, Laura, ([LAURALOVE.]) and Steveo ([ironboundtreo]) cant remember the name of the film, but it had Ice Cube in it and it was quite good.

I was going to go home today at 3.45pm, but decided to chill out with Gonzo until 6.45pm - so we went to Fleetwoods for a bit, where we bumped into Aileen ([.Sweet . cheeks.]) and her chums. Had a bit crack on with her, and then walked Gonzos dog, Sasha. Was an alright relaxing day, althought gutted that I had missed the Oralution concert in Newcastle.

Watched Big Brother tonight, was quite alright

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Craster, My House!
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? My own bed!
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 12.30am ish

Today was a little bit of a long day and I ([jobby]) got a really big shock! Steveo ([ironboundtreo]), Gonzo ([act of chief]) and I were planning to go to a carboot sale today, but I didnt wake up until 11am, it finishes at 12am.

I gave Gonzo a ring to see what the crack was, and I went to meet up with him. When I got to his house, Ben ([Chunky Monkey]) and his step-brother carl were there, which I thought was a bit strange as Gonzo had just woken up. I asked what the crack was, and he told me that one of my good mates had been taken to hospital last night after an overdose. I didnt know what to say, I was gutted. They seemed shocked. Gonzo, Ben and Sam ([.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]) had been at Wansbeck hospital until about 3am in the morning to see if he is ok. If only my car wasn't fucked I could have took them all down to see how he was doing in the morning.

We went for a walk about to take our minds off it all, Ben and Carl went home and Gonzo and I decided to go and get a film from Johns video place. After alot of consideration, we decided to go for a film that we hadn't really heard much about, "The Hole". We watched it, and it is now one of my favourite British Films of all time. Its fucking great. It has everything, thrills, twists, Sex and nakedness. All the ingredients for a class Thriller film, and if thats not it, the characters were about my age as well. Sweet!

After the film, we met up with Clarky and Steve again, and just mished about. Went to my shop, printing.com, and I phoned up Wansbeck hospital to see how he was. They told me he got released at 3.50pm and he is now at home - that was a releif. We all went up to see him, and he was a bit shaken ect - but was ok. And thats the main thing. After some drinks ect, and mish's down the street, it was 10.30pm and time to go to work again.

Upon arriving at the falcons, I got told it was fancy dress night and I had to dress up. I looked around, and the staff were in 70's clothes, which I thought was cool, and I was definetly up for dressing up. So martin took me into the cuboard and pissed him self laughing, and said "Wear these" - so i did, dressed up as a woman. It was quite funny, and an old man (i think) actually thought I was a woman, as he was very interested in my fake breasts, he kissed my hand and put about a £5 down my fake breasts - I wasn't complaining tho, that money paid for my pizza after work. Closing time, and I just chilled out with Craig, Kevin and a very drunk Alex. He didnt want me to go home, but I had to - well, I didnt go home. I ended up sleeping in the back room of my shop.

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Alnwick, My shop
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? On laminate flooring
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 3.30am ish

So its Saturday today, and I ([jobby]) dont have to get up at 8.00am to go to WHSmith as I have quit - althought Gonzo ([act of chief]), Suzie ([i heart choo]) and Ethan ([Hugh G. Rection]
) decided to wake me up at 7am, to head towards Fleetwoods for some drinks. To our shock, Fleetwoods didnt actually open until 9.30am - so we screwed ourselfs there. I didnt feel bad at all this morning, even after the amazing night we had down at Denwick.

Anywayz, all I have done today is chilled out with the gang - Clarky, Steveo ([ironboundtreo]), Gonzo, Sam ([.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]), Ben, ([Chunky Monkey]) and the rest. Decided to go up to the park and set some german drippers off the plastic of the shitty thing on there. (German drippers are where you set plastic on fire, and then the plastic drips with a little bit of fire on it).

That night I started my first shift at The Falcons rest, as a bar tender. Met martin at 9pm who showed me arround, hes a really good lad - really funny. People started coming in at 10pm, and i met my other work mates, Emma, Andrew and Kevin - all quality folk. It was really busy, and its my first time ive worked behind a bar - so I was a tad nervous. Alex the DJ, one of my good mates, was doing his usual funny routine - it was a good night.

I finished work at 1.30am, and was meant to be going to Steveos house to sleep - but he had been in bed for about 24 hours, so I couldn't get through to him, luckuly I bumped into Carley Burns and her classic crazy brother, Jonny, so I crashed at there house - after a supper of a variety of potatoes and tuna fish sandwich, and a good healthy session of Big Brother live, i went to bed.

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Alnwick, Carleys house
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? On several pillows
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 3am ish

Well I ([jobby]) think I am going to start and log my dates on this good old piece of kit. So, what did I get up today? Well, I will set the scene. I got up at 8am, because my car is fucked and I have to get a lift in with my auntie instead of the freedom of driving in and opening up a little bit late. Anyways, I got to work at 8.30 and opened at 9am. It was a good day I guess, steady business flow with several new clients including Carlos Fish bar and 1st Caffe Vesuvio. The time had come up to 5pm, and it was time for me to leave and meet up with my good old gothic chums, Gonzo ([act of chief]) and Steve ([ironboundtreo]) and we had a little mish to sit in Fleetwoods. "I want a coke" asked steveo politely, so I got him a coke and we all drank our cokes, and they smoked there ciggareettes. We were getting ready to mish down to Denwick bridge where were going to have a party.

The time has got time to walk down to Denwick, and I meet up with several other people Including James Clark. We decide to go up to his house and get a bag, to fill it up lots and lots of alcohol from victoria wines. "Im going to go down on my bicycle" said James. I told him not too, as his bike is shit and if we were going to get "drunk" then it wouldn't be advisable.

So we went and filled our boots with alcohol, not literally, as we had a bag. Once we arrived in Denwick, we set up a tent - but I forgot the top bit, so it was like sleeping in a tent, with a hole in. It was as if it had its own air conditioning. It was nice. Sekky asked if I wished to go up and meet Sam ([.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]) with him, "ok" i said. So we went up to meet Sam, he was on his bike - but because he had never rode a bike in many years, he was a bit shit. So we got to Sekkys house, he dumped off his bike and I had a dump in his cuboard (He has a toilet in his cuboard, crazy I know) then we set off to the Market Tavern, where we met up with Ben ([Chunky Monkey]) and Scotty.

Many Snakes and ladders games later, Sam appeared smelling of that pendanted Restaurant smell, and we walked up to Sekkys to get her changed. (We didnt get her changed, we just watched - well, tried to watch, but Sekky bumped his head so we cudnt see up the little holes).

We walked down to Denwick again, and the party had started. We set a little fire up, told jokes and messed about. "They are coming" shouted Steveo, and we were then told gonzo, Aileen ([.Sweet . cheeks.]) and erve were on there way down with the "shopping". They got to the camp at about 11.30pm and we shared the goods they bought, and had a really fun time. Hamish ([Ambitions as a Rider]) also randomly turned up, and we had a right old laugh. It was time for several people to depart now, and they found it hard to walk home. Me tho, I went to sleep at about 3am after doing many voices and playing games with Stevo. It was a very successful day.

WHERE DID I SLEEP TODAY? Denwick Bridge
WHAT DID I SLEEP IN/ON? A tent on the floor
WHAT TIME DID I GET TO SLEEP? 3am ish