i am so sore. god i am going to excersice more often from now on damn

today was hard. all i could think about was him the man, the guy, the dream weaving itslef in and out of reality. Oh god why does life have to suck so much. God i love this dream. I love the thought of us together. i love the thought of me being close to him to feel him wrap himself around me. to feel his breathe on my neck. to look into his eyes and get overcome with passion. TO...to...to...to love be loved by him. to know that he was always there for me and i for him. to sense his soul when he draws near. to look into his eyes and know that they completely and utterly love me back. Why do i have to love soemone that doesn't even love me bcak.

what if he does love me back and we are ment to be togther. to love and to help eachother. to explore the lands of this life. to fallow one another down the road to were ever it leads to find what life truly holds for us to...to...to.. be free and happy!

though the world doesn't seem fair
it'll get better

how,
simple the night
is,
quiet,
a spiral of different thoughts,
dreams,
fantatises,
a vision of how life flows,
a symbol of how love is lived,

The definition of true relality

journey

each day slowly
walking in one direction
despertly trying to change
looking as
options pass
which road will
i take
which road will i not
to slow down would just
see them go by slower

is it simple?
this life
no, but what else could i
do?

Ian (the guy in my last peom, by the way we are dancing)
His eyes basil with justa dash of red wood bark,
The way he looks at me,
it feels as though he made,
the rose,
the seed begin to grow,
to fill that empty spot that I have had for so long,
Looking into his eyes,
a wheat tinted lock falls uppn his face,
brushing against his button nose,
the nose that fits so perfectly up to mine,
He grins as he pulls me closer to him,
i feel his body embracing mine,
his arm wraps around my back,
and the other into my hair,
weaving his fingers in and out of it,
I feel his heart bump against,
my balck and purple chest,
he pulls me closer,
as though we weren't close enough,
turns his face and permenatly stains my cheek with
a kiss,
Dream,
that is what I thought,
but actraully
REAL!

The memory
(this is a guy that i got really close to and broke my heart)
Running through my thoughts, I look for a
new obsesion, a
new life, but all i see is him,
the water to my seed,
The sun to my flower,
The blonde materpiece that had
bewilldered my senses,
the warmth that recindled my soul,
Fighting the memory away,
I remeber the dream
the night of complete tranquility,
My eyes search the darkness for the smile i remeber so well,
the smile that
haunts my dreams
the smile that posesses my heart with its spell,
This is the ghost of my dreams,
this is the character of my stroies,
the feeling I will never be able to explian.