As a birthday wish..there's only one thing I could think of. I wish she could be in my arms from sun up...or noon.....all day until a bit after dark. Just laying with me watching movies perhaps making out/kissing. Just one full day of being completely relaxed with someone I care for. I magine she won't be able to but even still. It's why I call it a wish and not a demand.
people are too revengeful now days.
If soeone was to break my heart..I'd just let them go and not talk to them and let them go on their own way of life...most people now days...wants the person who broke their heart to be so punished. Sure shows they ever loved them.
Though I knoqw other points of view think that person deserved the punishment..so I suppose a fine line their.
Like my fmaily tells me. I'm just not an aggressive person. They tell me I need to fight people and yet I've always foudn authority to be best used legally. perhaps this world is more corrupt then I wished it wasn't.
guess I'll take a beating..and do nothing about it. Whatever makes that person doing the beating...feel more like a man.
I'm through with the way she makes me feel.
She demands and controls me now more then at first. At first I felt love for her instantly. She couldn't stop texting..or couldmn't stop writing me messages. though now....she has changed. I deleted her once because I was upset which she griped me out for telling me she felt like a piece of trash being thrown away. Now...I've been deleted twice...one from a page supposedly our page. I'm being called names...and just in all....I don't think I'm who she wants. I think she knows what she is doing. She knows she is driving me away. She knows she wants back with HIM! Hell I am not completely stupid. I know she deleted me the first time b/c I couldn't take her talking to ex's. Also...her words are always mixed around...once she told me "it's so hard being in love with 2 people" ....inferring me and cullen...and now it's all of a sudden.."I don't know if I love him" ...or "I don't want to love him" ....ya know...if you're going to tell me something...at least let it be the truth...not just more sentences to confuse yourself and me. Right now...I don't know how I feel. I just know it's not the love I felt in the begining when she actually showed me the love I wanted from her. Not sure what I'm gunna do....though at this point if she wants to just end it....then so be it. I am in love with the allie that didn't harm herself and knew she felt love for me. This allie now....would be better off without me.
I just feel like I don't know the entire truth....anywa